


Your (One and Only) Homeboy

by MinMingHeon



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Arguing, Blackmail, Bribery, Cute, Drinking, Eventual Happy Ending, Fighting, Fluff, Fluffy Jackson, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Humour, I Don't Even Know, I Just Liked it, I Tried, Im Jaebum | JB-centric, In Denial Im Jaebum | JB, It's all Really Pretty Tame, Jaebum's parents, Jealous Im Jaebum | JB, Kind of Slow Burn For the Romance, Lots of kissing, M/M, Making Out, Maybe a Little Bit More Angst, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Smoking and Drugs (Only as a joke), More tags!, Music, No Smut, Possessive Im Jaebum | JB, Romance, Song Production, Swearing, Title Has Nothing To Do With the Story, Wise Jinyoung, mentions of sexual situations, tiny bit of angst but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 56,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11185365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinMingHeon/pseuds/MinMingHeon
Summary: Just because Jaebum and Jackson have been sleeping together (exclusively) for the past several years, it doesn’t mean they’re in a relationship, and it certainly doesn’t mean that Jaebum is in love. No matter what Jinyoung may say. Or what Mark may say. Or what Youngjae may say… Actually, you know what? Maybe Jaebum just needs new friends.They said that a ‘friends-with-benefits fic’ could never be written without smut… And they were probably completely right, but please enjoy anyway!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story here and I've been working on it for months but it still probably doesn't even compare to the amazing fanfics I've read already. Nevertheless, please accept this awkwardly-worded, misused-punctuation-heavy jumble that I've slapped together to express Jackson and Jaebum's love for each other. (>_<)!

** ONE **

"No, no, no, listen," Jackson murmurs, eyes sleepy as he presses two index fingers against the table, "it's not about whether he likes you or not," he punctuates his statement with a vicious stab of one finger against the wood. "It's all about the something of the something or another, that--" he stops, frowns. "No, wait. _Look_ \--"

And Jaebum just begins to space out at this point because he seriously cannot cope with Jackson's words of wisdom when he's tired and tipsy and cold all at the same time.

"If he had leaned over and kissed you, he would’ve tasted like-- what's the name of that drink with the thing that's sour in it?" A frown mars Jackson's plush mouth. "That drink with... Is it tequila?"

Jaebum isn't even sure that Jackson is still even speaking to him anymore or if he's just talking for the sake of talking. That does seem to happen quite often.

"So that’s why I told him you were taken," Jackson concludes, thumps his head down onto the table with a muttered 'ow' and shifts around until he can see Jaebum with one eye. "Jinyoungie said you didn't like it when people hit on you when you're drunk, anyway."

“For the last time, he wasn’t hitting on me,” Jaebum answers with a roll of his eyes, “And also for the last time, I’m not drunk." Technically this is all true. The guy wasn’t hitting on him, he was actually a bartender bringing Jaebum a free shot from the bar for _his birthday_ (which Jackson actually drank) and also, Jaebum is not drunk. Well, not drunk _enough_ , at least.

"Yeah, well, my Eomma said that liars are jokers," Jackson interjects, pointing an accusatory finger and Jaebum has to hold back the urge to roll his eyes again.

"That's smokers," he amends. "Smokers are jokers. Liars are just... Well, everyone lies, so lying is just normal."

Jackson huffs indignantly, "I don't lie!" He lies, "I'm one hundred and two percent truthful, one hundred and three percent of the time. Man, where did I put my hat?"

He gets up and stalks off at this point, albeit a little wobbly, and Jaebum snorts into his glass and pointedly does not look at Jackson's firm, toned thighs and butt in those jeans. He shouts, "You better not come back with anymore alcohol!"

"He's so hot," BamBam moans as he perks up from where he'd been lying on the booth seat beside Jaebum. His hair is flat on one side and spiked up on the other and his eyeliner is smudged to heck but he doesn’t seem to care. "He talks a lot of shit, yeah, but he's so incredibly hot."

"Maybe," Jaebum mutters cryptically, "If you like that type."

"What, seriously?" BamBam's eyes are wide now. "Jackson-hyung is like, the epitome of the top notch male. Once you get him to shut up, you can just stare at _that body_ for days. I mean, he's one of my friends so I wouldn't, but I can guarantee that anyone else that sees him ten out of ten would bang.” He makes a pervy face, whispers, “you should know, hyung," then slumps down on the table, jaw cradled in his palms, eyes dreamy as he sways to the music.

Jaebum wants to make a comment about BamBam knowing little to nothing about 'banging' considering he's pretty sure the younger hasn't even had his first kiss yet, but he settles on making a promise to himself that he'll just go out and find new friends instead. Meeting new people can't be that bad when he has to deal with idiots like these all day.

Jackson finally comes back-- without his hat (of course)-- but with a tall glass of something red in one hand and his phone in the other. The ice cubes in his drink clink together when he puts it down on the table and he tries to both type legible sentences on his phone, and shimmy his way back into his seat at the same time. His eyes droop to half-lidded again once he's settled in, phone falling haplessly from his fingers.

"This isn't mine," he points at the drink, drags it across the table towards him and sips from the curly straw. "Mm. Tastes like watermelon."

Jaebum narrows his eyes.

"It's _Mark's_ ," Jackson clarifies like he's talking to stupid people. "Apparently some guy at the bar chats him up and buys him a drink every week. I just said I'd bring it over this time."

"Mark's in L.A," Jaebum deadpans.

"Shhhhh!" Jackson hushes, ducks his head conspiratorially. Jaebum tries not to scream out in frustration but BamBam swoons at the stupidity.

"Your arms have gotten bigger," BamBam knows the right thing to say to Jackson and yeah, Jaebum really is going to scream now.

"Jaebummie-hyung is definitely still sexier than me, though," Jackson winks at the oldest, flexes his biceps, "So chic and sexy-ah!"

Jaebum feels Jackson's socked foot slide up his calf, the ball of it pressing down in between his legs and he grunts, reaches down to restrain it with a pointed look. "What's the matter, hyung?" Jackson purrs, tonguing at the tip of the straw. "Cat got your tongue?"

"That rhymes," BamBam says, impressed.

Jaebum looks between them with incredulity.

"Have you been smoking something?" He demands from BamBam, giving up on fighting Jackson and reaching out to press his palm to the youngest's forehead instead. "You know what happens when you hang out with those boys from Daegu."

"Tae-hyung and Yoongi-hyung aren't drug-addicts!" BamBam bats Jaebum away. Jackson snorts from across the table.

"Bam hasn’t been smoking," he murmurs, back to tapping away relentlessly on his phone, straw still between his teeth. He massages his foot down with a smirk; Jaebum nearly bites through his lip. "He’s as innocent as the day and cotton wool and all that. How old are you now, kid, fifteen?"

BamBam grows sullen; Jackson's foot slips away from Jaebum's crotch as he concentrates on his messaging instead. Jaebum breathes a sigh of relief; things are looking up.

"Just so you know," BamBam says, "I'm twenty now."

"Holy shit," Jackson says.

"Ho-Kay, that's enough of that," Jaebum brings his palms down on the table. He gives Jackson a withering look as the over-dramatic princess yelps like he's drowning when the drink splashes over the side of the glass and across his chin. He's far too old for this shit now. It’s exhausting him beyond what is reasonable to keep his maknaes well behaved; and it just makes it even worse when they’re drunk and possibly high on weed, and he still needs to get everyone safely to their dorms.

"Just let us stay with you," Jackson pouts prettily as he reads Jaebum’s mind. "I promise I won't make any noise..." He winks, tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth, "this time."

Jaebum closes his eyes and steadies his breathing because he remembers the time Jackson’s talking about; the time when Jaebum had let the younger stay on his couch only just over a week ago, the time when Jackson had spent nearly a full twenty minutes softly moaning his name; making sex noises into the artificially hot, hazy air and whimpering with need when Jaebum refused to share his bed.

And even though Jaebum finally went out there to confront him and simultaneously made Jackson shut up and cry out even louder all in the same night (on the couch, he was adamant no-one but him would be sleeping in his bed that night), he doesn't want a repeat of that today. Well, not whilst Jackson isn't completely sober, anyway.

"Jinyoungie-hyung isn't home yet, right?" BamBam refers to Jaebum's room-mate-- the other having left for L.A as soon as a grinning Mark ( _Jackson's_ room-mate) had invited him to go for the Christmas holidays-- and Jaebum grunts in acknowledgement. Jaebum misses Jinyoung if only for the fact that he can keep the other boys in line; often making them cry and reflect upon their actions with his cutting words and disappointed, derisive looks. Jaebum remembers wistfully when he used to hold that power once... Once a long, long time ago. Ah, memories.

"Hyung! Come on!" Jackson whines and jiggles where he now stands. "Let's go back!"

BamBam zones out in boredom because he doesn't like cutesy Jackson, he likes cocky Jackson. That, and the fact that the Chinese boy called him fifteen. Really?

"Get your boots back on," Jaebum relents. He downs the rest of his drink and slams the empty glass down onto the table with a grimace. Jackson is up against his side, moist lips against the curve of his jaw, hot palm rubbing over his chest in seconds.

"So manly," he purrs. Jaebum shrugs him off briefly to help him zip up his jacket.

“BamBam, get your shit together,” he looks back to Jackson, sighs in exasperation, “Jackson-ah… Where’s your hat?”

Jackson tip-toes, points to the vast sea of people on the dance-floor and Jaebum feels a swell of irritation as he sees a bright red hat bobbing in the sea of heads, the silver name ‘WANG’ emblazoned across the front in some kind of reflective material.

“Are you going to get it?” He asks pointedly and Jackson shakes his head.

“He can keep it, it’s not my favourite,” he sounds genuine until he pouts, sulks. “He probably isn’t even named Wang.”

“Jesus Ch--," Jaebum stops himself. He stares at Jackson as the Chinese boy looks everywhere but back at him and then he rolls his eyes, turns away and shoulders his way into the crowd.

He’s looking after children, he swears.

Several people try to get him to dance as he snakes his way through the grinding mass but he manages to shake them off. Lucky for him, the place seems to consist mostly of women that he just so happens to be taller than and can see over; unlucky for him, the crowd seems to consist mostly of women that just so happen to find him devastatingly attractive-- if the group of several drunk girls that stagger over to him and shout above the music, “you’re so devastatingly attractive, oppa!” speak for the majority.

Jaebum flashes a half-smile, tells them that he’s flattered but not interested because even though it’s not every day you get such an... Unusual compliment, he kind of has his eyes on some else at the moment (even if it isn't true... Kind of... Whatever).

They all nod dejectedly and let him pass. Jaebum slips away, carrying on with his mission in peace.

The guy in Jackson’s hat isn’t anyone Jaebum recognises at first glance, but Jackson knows approximately five billion more people than Jaebum does, so this doesn’t surprise him. What _does_ surprise him is that the guy is about a foot taller than Jaebum, and is dancing his way around the middle of a makeshift circle of people like he’s Chris Brown or something. Jaebum grinds his teeth because of course he couldn’t just do this quietly. Jackson doesn’t make friends with quiet people. Well, except for Mark, but Jaebum still wonders how that even happened.

The music changes and the dancer raises his head, but instead of smirking and working it for the crowd like Jaebum expects him to do (imagines any of Jackson’s friends would do), he grins bashfully and hunches in on himself as he bows. The cheering continues for a while before the circle starts to break and Jaebum takes this as his moment to get the guy alone. Sort of.

“Hey, dancing guy!” Jaebum calls and the man-- the kid, definitely a kid, turns around, eyes wide and inquisitive. He points to himself.

"Yeah," Jaebum moves closer, tries not to feel intimidated by the giant when he has such a baby face. "I need the hat, Jackson's hat. I know he probably gave it to you but he's sulking about it now."

"Oh!" The kid looks genuinely surprised, his cheeks pink as he pulls it off and spins it around to look at the front. "I didn't even remember that I'd had it on. Tell Jackson-hyung that I'm sorry."

"It’s fine," Jaebum mutters, taking it back with a grateful smile. "He probably hasn't even noticed that I'm not there, let alone his hat. But I'll see you around, yeah? Thanks kid."

"My name's Yugyeom!" the boy calls from behind as Jaebum begins his trek back to Jackson and BamBam, but by the time he turns back, the kid-- Yugyeom, is gone, having been swept away by the pulse of the crowd. Jaebum shakes his head and continues on forwards.

Jackson and BamBam are curled up together in one side of the booth once he makes it back; the youngest blinking blearily at the ceiling as Jackson lies back in his lap, phone in his hands again.

"Oi, you," Jaebum throws Jackson's hat at the Chinese boy, feeling a spark of victory as Jackson squawks when it hits him in the face. "You two ready?"

"You got it back!" Jackson cheers, spinning it around as though looking for defects. "Who had it?"

"Some tall kid," Jaebum grunts. He pulls the zipper of his own jacket up. "Yugyeom or something."

"Gyeommie?" Both Jackson and BamBam beam and the Chinese boy nudges the Thai boy with his elbow. "Bam loves Gyeommie," Jackson heaves himself to standing, wobbles as though he's just stepped off of a high-speed roller coaster. He sniffs the hat, "you've met him before, right, hyung?"

"Not that I can remember," Jaebum mutters, hooks his thumbs into his jean pockets. "Now hurry up, I don't have all night."

Jackson shoots him a dirty look but just pulls his snapback on. He grabs at Jaebum's hand and laces their fingers together with a squeeze. BamBam eventually manages to wriggle himself up into a standing position and moves to Jaebum's other side.

Finally, they're ready to go.

\--

"Hyung's dorm is so cool," Jackson insists as they step out into the cold, breezy night, the streets slick with rain. He's talking like they've been on the subject for hours instead of him just breaking the silence out of nowhere. "Without Jinyoungie around the place just looks so lived in. There was just a can of beer, a punnet of strawberries and a box of takeout rice in the fridge last time."

“That was last night,” Jaebum rolls his eyes. He looks to Jackson. "You're always around when Jinyoungie's gone."

"Don't act like you don't like it, hyung," Jackson snorts. "You love having me around. You get lonely without your little playmate and besides, Mark-hyung's gone with him, so I get lonely without anyone to talk to."

"Or drive insane," Jaebum mumbles. Jackson acts like he doesn't hear.

"What do the two of you even do when you're alone?" BamBam ponders out loud but it's not really a question, so Jaebum doesn't answer.

Jackson however, throws his head back and laughs.

"Jaebummie-hyung is like a bunny under his leather jacket and serious eyes," Jackson leans forwards and whispers loud enough for BamBam to hear. Which pretty much means it's loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear (including the bunch of drunken frat boys hanging around outside the club) and that Jackson isn't actually whispering at all. Jaebum would hit him but he doesn't think it would deter him, so he just settles for glaring instead. "Usually he just sits there in silence mostly, makes smart quips, tells me to leave. But he makes me laugh, too. He comforts me when I'm feeling down, talks about his family. He's honestly just a cute little sugar dumpling, right hyung?"

Jaebum grunts.

"And then, well... You know the rest," Jackson continues with a wink. He grabs the side of Jaebum's neck and quickly pulls him down to smack a wet kiss against Jaebum's ear. Jaebum's skin tingles a little when Jackson pulls away, but it's probably more to do with the icy wind blowing on his now wet skin than anything else.

BamBam looks between them, asks carefully, "Are you two together yet?"

Jaebum slows down a little waiting for Jackson to answer rather than doing it himself. Jackson squirms around, squeezes Jaebum's hand.

"Uh, well..." Jackson bites his lip.

"No," Jaebum says.

BamBam stares, his head tilted like he wants to speak, but all of a sudden, a loud, indescribable noise sounds from down the alley to their right, making them all jump.

Jackson looks a lot more sober now as he grasps a hand over his chest and frowns, all awkwardness from the last few seconds gone. He opens his mouth to speak, possibly shout, but Jaebum slaps a hand over his face to shush him. Jackson's starting to look all kinds of offended but then the noise sounds again, and a boy comes running down the alley at top speed, drenched in sweat and chest heaving before he sees the three boys and staggers towards them, hunching over as he stops, hands on knees.

"What the actual fuck?" BamBam says, brows drawing together. "Maybe there was something in that blunt Tae-hyung gave me; am I the only one seeing this?"

"I knew you were smoking, you little shit," Jaebum whacks the younger over the head. "And language. You shouldn't be swearing-- or smoking for that matter; Jackson's right, you're only fifteen."

"It was a joke, hyung! I wasn't-- ow! And you know I'm twenty, I told you barely ten minutes ago," BamBam says rubbing his head. Jaebum cuts him off with a slap to the chest this time and looks over as Jackson untangles his hand from Jaebum's, steps towards the new guy who is still breathing heavily, head still down.

"Hey, man, you okay?" Jackson asks softly. He crouches down and reaches out but Jaebum grabs him by the back of his jacket before he can make contact with the other. "Hyung, wha--?"

"Youngjae-ah?"

The new kid finally looks up and Jaebum sees relief wash over his familiar face.

"Jaebum-hyung," Youngjae cries out, throwing himself forwards and Jackson steps in between them before they can make contact.

"Hey man, watch those hands. Jaebum-hyung's mine, yeah?" He quirks an eyebrow and Youngjae looks at Jackson instead.

"Jackson-hyung!" He slumps into Jackson's embrace instead. The Chinese boy soothes him by rubbing his back and still keeps doing it even when he pulls away. "Oh my God, I'm so glad you're here," Youngjae shakes himself out, starts walking towards the dorms. "We have to get out of here, now."

"What the hell?" Jackson mutters but he jogs a little to catch up so he's walking beside Youngjae. He turns back to Jaebum and BamBam with his eyebrows raised, Jaebum grabs BamBam's elbow and pulls the younger forwards until all four are walking shoulder to shoulder in the road. He looks at the newcomer with a frown.

"What's going on, Youngjae-ah?"

Youngjae snorts, "Well, I was just with Nichkhun-hyung walking home past the South library when this mass of girls came running over," he squirms, embarrassed. "They said they'd just heard me recording and that they didn't know I could sing so well. I didn't know what to say to them, so I just ran but they ended up following me. I climbed over a fence and well, now I'm here. I think I lost them when I slipped on a wet cardboard box and went around a corner, though. I kinda cut my hand up pretty bad."

Jackson stares, stifles a laugh, "So you were basically just mobbed by a group of fan-girls?" He asks as he inspects Youngjae's cuts. "Well, I guess there are worse things that could happen. Luckily these cuts aren't that deep, you can just rinse them out with antiseptic when you get home. You should also probably wrap them up to stop them getting dirty again, getting an infection wouldn’t be pretty.”

“Thanks,” Youngjae flexes his hand, laughs. “I would’ve just rinsed it with cold water.”

“Ah, I know my stuff,” Jackson grins, “That’s one of the pros of growing up with old pretty-boy hyung, here, he was forever getting himself hurt.”

“Not _always_ ,” Jaebum refutes but of course, no-one listens. He doesn’t know why he bothers sometimes.

“So,” Jackson tilts his head to look at Youngjae, grins broadly as the younger flushes. “Did you see any girls you liked?"

"All of them?" Youngjae laughs nervously, runs his good hand through his damp locks. Jaebum gives Jackson a disapproving look, snaps at Youngjae, "we thought you were in serious trouble!" but the others don't seem to notice or care… Again.

"The only thing is, I don't want them to just like me because I can sing," Youngjae says, rubs the back of his neck. "I've seen pretty much all of them before and they've never even looked at me twice until now."

“Then choose one of the ones you haven’t seen,” BamBam shrugs simply. Jaebum hits him again.

"But our Sunshine-ah is so cute! Who couldn't like you?" Jackson pinches Youngjae's cheek, wraps his other arm around Youngjae's shoulders. "Don't worry, Youngjae-ah, some people are just fickle like that. They never really want anything to do with you until you start making it big," he pauses, grins slyly. "Did I ever tell you about the first time Jaebum-hyung saw me fence?"

"Jackson-ah," Jaebum growls, voice filled with warning.

"It was a clear autumn day!" Jackson begins the story regardless. BamBam makes a noise like he's trying not to laugh but doesn't succeed very well. Jaebum finds himself at a crossroads between tackling Jackson to the ground and covering his mouth, feigning ignorance or starting on BamBam instead. He chooses the middle one because he can't really remember what happened either.

"They were holding the finals for the fencing competition in the West gymnasium instead of the North, because they had competitors coming over from Tokyo, and they didn't want them to think we don't have any money--" Jackson carries on oblivious, "--And I, being the great friend that I am, had managed to score incredible seats for Jaebum-hyung, Mark-hyung and Jinyoungie to come and watch.

"It was the last match of the season and I was two points down with only fifty seconds to go," Jackson stops, lowers his voice dramatically. "The crowd were going crazy with their chanting of my name, cheering me on; shouting out the same thing over and over again, 'oh Jackson Wang, how did you get so wild and sexy?'"

BamBam does laugh at that and Jackson flashes him a grin.

"So I swallowed my nerves, looked at the guy opposite and I was like, I can do this! I can take him! Even though I am three points down with forty seconds left on the clock--"

"You just said it was two points!" Youngjae interrupts with a loud laugh at the same time BamBam chuckles, "Wait, wait, wait, I thought it was fifty seconds?"

Jackson purses his mouth and looks between the two of them disapprovingly.

"Whose story is this?" He demands playfully. Both maknaes fall silent.

"So anyway," Jackson shoots them all a dirty look. "As soon as the buzzer went off, I jabbed left and hit him right in the side! It was glorious! And I'd managed to actually get a point so we were finally tied. The coach came over and said I should take a quick break just to gather my wits, and so I called the others down from the stands for moral support.” He stops, looks at Jaebum, “And I had just turned away and bent down to get a drink of water--"

"Oh God," Jaebum squeezes his eyes shut because yes, he remembers this story now.

"--When all of a sudden, I heard this wondrous voice--"

"Jackson-ah," Jaebum mutters, moving around quickly and shifting Youngjae to the side so he can squeeze himself in next to Jackson. He reaches out and grabs the back of Jackson’s neck, squeezes gently whilst giving the boy a pleading look. "That's enough now."

"It was the voice of an angel," Jackson continues, smiling evilly. "And it said, and I quote, 'oh man, I wouldn't mind having those thighs wrapped around my waist.'"

And suddenly, the heavens are calling and Jaebum is floating, floating away on a cloud of marshmallow and into the sun where he'll burn and die, and his face and his ears will be as hot as they are now. Forever.

BamBam and Youngjae practically shriek with laughter and Jackson squeals from Jaebum's other side like he wasn't the one just telling the story and this is the first time he'd heard it, too.

"It was the most romantic thing I've ever heard!" Jackson sighs, still laughing. "And! It would never have happened if I hadn't made it to the finals so it's obvious that Jaebum-hyung's just a gold-digger and wanted my three-hundred thousand won prize money. Moral of the story is, Youngjae-ah-- make sure you choose your next girlfriend wisely."

"It was a _joke_ ," Jaebum tries to fight his case but knows he's already lost the battle. He looks at Jackson, murmurs, "We were doing stuff long before then anyway,” he pauses, speaks louder, “and, anyway, we're not even a couple."

Jackson smiles placidly, "I know, hyung," he sweet-talks like he always does, "but that doesn't mean we can't make fun of you, right? Fix that angry jaw."

Jaebum does, if only because he knows that they'll tease him more if he doesn't, and settles into silence as the others continue to giggle.

“I never even got any of that money,” he also points out and the others just laugh.

Jaebum was right. He's looking after actual children.

"So..." BamBam breaks the silence that’s descended again; leans around to look at Jackson, "Did you win?"

"Of course, I did!" Jackson gives a cocky grin, "I'd just had Jaebummie-hyung's sweet words of encouragement; there was no way I was going to lose after that."

The others collapse into giggles again and Jaebum rolls his eyes. He feels grateful when they finally drop Youngjae off at his dorm after each saying their quick goodbyes, and Jaebum, Jackson and BamBam carry on until they reach Jaebum's own building barely a minute later.

The whole area is surprisingly quiet and even though the younger boys seemed to have sobered up significantly since they left the bar, he knows that they'll still insist on staying with him, so he makes his way to the second floor where his and Jinyoung's shared apartment is without argument.

The place is warm and cosy when they all step inside and Jaebum congratulates himself on having left the heating on before he went out as he slips off his shoes. He pulls off his jacket, ruffles his hands through his hair and watches the youngster’s breeze past him to fight over the couch.

"We'll sleep out here tonight, hyung," BamBam kicks his shoes over the back of the sofa when he finally makes himself comfortable against Jackson's chest, one ropy arm winding around Jackson's waist. "Thanks for letting us stay. We'll see you in the morning?"

Jaebum hums an affirmative, lets his gaze slide over to Jackson who is on his back, eyes already closed and chest rising and falling easily. He has one arm curved around BamBam's shoulder in return, holding him close.

He wants to tell them that they can go into Jinyoung's unoccupied room to sleep but even seeing the two of them cuddling on his _sofa_ makes his chest feel a little uncomfortable, so he decides against it. He calls out a weak, “thanks,” as he hears BamBam’s shout of “Oh, and Happy Birthday, hyung!” And he slips into his own room. He brushes his teeth tiredly in the en suite bathroom and changes into his nightwear before climbing into his bed. He wonders if the tightness in his heart has anything to do with the fact that he probably drank too much at the bar again, but he really can’t say for sure.

As he stares up at the ceiling hours later, playing with the new leather bracelet on his wrist; he explicitly doesn't think about the fact that all he'd had was two beers and half a glass of apple juice for the whole night out. All in all, it was a pretty shit birthday to be honest.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

** TWO **

When Jaebum wakes the next day it’s to silence. And as lovely as that is, it’s also incredibly disconcerting. He knows for a fact that he left two of the loudest people he’s ever known to walk the earth asleep on his couch, and so with the fact that he can only hear the twittering of the birds outside his window right now-- he's feeling more than a little apprehensive.

He leans over and grabs his phone from the side table. He squints as the bright light fills his vision and types in his password, rolling his eyes at the background picture that has been changed once again to a photo of Jackson blowing kisses (he'll fix that later. When did the younger even get a hold of his phone?). He has one new voice message and two new text messages and he groans at his own cursed popularity. Why is he so likeable when he wants to sleep?

“Hey hyung!” Jinyoung’s voice filters through the speaker as he presses the voice message, "L.A was great, thank you! It was so hot Mark-hyung was in nothing but his shorts every day. I’m just calling to remind you that we’re coming home in three days and you should clean up the dorm, but as usual-- you never answer your phone. We're back in Korea now anyway, just visiting my parents before the term starts, so it shouldn't take us too long to get back. How are things with you? Have you told Jackson-ah that you’re in love with hi--?”

“Message deleted.”

Jaebum rolls his eyes, tries to decide whether he’s more disgusted that Jinyoung seemed so pleased Mark only wore shorts or more offended that he still thinks Jaebum is in love with Jackson; which he isn’t, by the way, and never has been either. Yes, he loves him like a friend would, but there’s really nothing more to it. They’re just friends, close friends, who happen to share a little more than friendship, but there aren’t any… Feelings involved or anything. Moving on.

He squints at his phone again to distract that train of thought and flicks open the first of his texts to read, a smile curling his lips.

 

**Youngjae-ah:** Hyung, thanks for dropping me home last night,

I’m very grateful! We should go out one night so I can thank you

all properly! Just you, me, Jackson-hyung and Coco? Let me know!

 

Jaebum snorts at the lack of BamBam's name and texts back an affirmative. Maybe he can convince Youngjae not to bring Coco along either.

The second text is from Jackson, and Jaebum is mildly grateful it’s in text form because Jackson’s voice is always too loud; disregarding the fact that it’s just gone midday.

 

**Jackson-ah:** Jaebummie-hyung! Me and BamBam have gone out

for a power breakfast because the idiot has a yoga class at ten

but didn’t remember until nine. We would’ve woken you but you

sleep like a prince, so chic! I’ll be around later to make sure you

don’t starve, yeah? Love you!

 

Jaebum smiles, runs a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. At least this explains why he wasn't woken up by jumping Chinese and/or Thai boys landing on his bed with their pointy elbows and knees in some very delicate places.

He does get up eventually after he falls asleep again, and wakes up with the phone buzzing in his hand-- a message from his local pizza place telling him its buy one get one free week (yay!) and he takes a languid shower. He changes into a loose t-shirt and shorts, and throws himself down onto the couch as he flicks the television on, settling down with the punnet of strawberries and cup of instant ramen.

The drama he’s watching is pretty boring but it keeps him relatively entertained until he hears the doorbell. He grunts as he pulls himself out of his seat and makes his way to door, opening it with an eyebrow raise even though he already knows who’s on the other side.

“Hey,” Jackson smiles. He’s soaked through with rain but he looks as giddy as a schoolgirl as he holds up a bag of food. Jaebum smells chicken and groans, snatching it away and making his way to the kitchen as Jackson shucks off his wet shoes.

“That chicken isn’t free, you know!” Jackson calls as he walks into the kitchen a minute later. He untucks his wet shirt from his jeans and fans it out in a poor attempt to dry it. Jaebum would roll his eyes in exasperation if he wasn’t secretly hoping the shirt would go up a little bit more and reveal Jackson’s abs, because come on, everyone knows Jackson has an incredible body.

“I’ve been up since eight this morning,” Jackson pouts. “Do you even care?”

“Nope,” Jaebum replies, mouth full of food.

“Aw, hyung,” Jackson sidles closer, slides a wet, cool hand beneath Jaebum’s shirt, fingers caressing his flat stomach. “Why do you treat me so bad?” He nips at Jaebum’s clothed shoulder. “I’m starting to think you really don’t love me.”

“I don’t,” Jaebum replies but he leans into the touch all the same. Jackson distracts himself with nudging Jaebum’s sleeve up with his nose and sucking a mark against his shoulder. Jaebum finally gives into the teasing and turns to face the younger, "what?"

"Nothing," Jackson grins, stepping back and taking the box of chicken with him into the front room. He sets it down on the table in front of the couch and sits on the floor, starting to eat. Jaebum follows him and sits beside him, flicking through the channels on the television to find something else to watch.

"You know," Jackson murmurs as he licks sauce from his fingers, turns to look at Jaebum with a sly look in his eye. "I've always wondered what people would say if we actually did become a couple."

"You have?" Jaebum arches an eyebrow. He puts the remote control down after settling on some music reality show and picks up his chopsticks to rifle through the box for the best looking piece. "Why?"

"I don't know," Jackson shrugs, reaches out for a hand wipe and cleans his hands. "It'd be just be so... Unexpected, right?"

Jaebum pauses, raises his gaze to Jackson's and swallows heavily at the warm, brown eyes, the full pink lips. Jackson is beautiful but Jaebum's just not looking for a relationship right now. They've spoken about it before and Jaebum prefers things the way they are. They have fun, they mess around and he doesn't really want to complicate that with anything more.

Jackson, bless his heart, is an old romantic, though. And even though he seems to be okay with this 'no strings attached' thing between them at the moment (was the one that initiated it even), he hasn't exactly said that he wouldn't want more in the future.

Jaebum sighs.

"Jackson-ah..."

"No, seriously, it’s fine," Jackson holds up his hands as he laughs a little. "I'm not trying to guilt you into dating me, Jaebum-hyung; I have more self-respect than that. You've made it clear that you don't want a relationship and I'm fine with it all, honestly. Besides," he tilts his head back to lean against Jaebum's shoulder, presses his lips to Jaebum's neck. "I have a lot of men falling over themselves to be with me. Seriously," he pulls away, eyes alight with humour. "I can do a lot better than you, hyung."

Jaebum feels his jaw shift in outrage as he tries to ignore the unpleasant pulling feeling in his stomach at the thought of people he doesn't know courting Jackson. He can't exactly say why it bothers him, but he thinks it must have to do with the fact that Jackson is his friend and a lot of these guys are bad news.

He redirects his thoughts from that and looks back to the television instead, the guy on it singing some slow, soulful tune in a not so slow and soulful way. He can see Jackson watching him from the corner of his eye and allows one side of his lips to curl up into a smirk as he looks back and stares at Jackson unabashedly.

"Really?" He feigns nonchalance, "you really think you'll find someone better than me?"

"Obviously," Jackson grins back. Jaebum feels the awkward tension easing and another kind rising between them, making his ears hot.

Jackson encourages Jaebum to face him as he leans back on his hands, legs parting so they're either side of Jaebum's kneeling form. "Unless you think you've got some other way to convince me, of course?"

Jaebum slides up closer, spreading his own knees a little until Jackson's thighs rest over his. He presses Jackson back until he's lying on the floor and hovers over him, eyes as dark as night as he follows him down, rests all his weight on his forearms either side of Jackson’s head. Jackson stares back, gaze glittering, breaths growing heavy.

"Jaebummie-hyung," Jackson breathes. He turns his head and kisses the leather bracelet on his wrist. “Let me make last night up to you. It’s practically a tradition to have sex on your birthday and we missed it because of baby Bam.”

Jaebum growls. He’s not sure it was entirely BamBam’s fault but he’s willing to shift the blame if he means he gets _this_ now. He drops his head and crushes his own mouth to Jackson's in a flourish, one hand sneaking beneath Jackson’s still damp shirt and tracing the lines of his toned stomach.

Jackson's groans, when compared to the wails of the contestant on the screen, are more like music to Jaebum's ears.

 --

BamBam makes a reappearance a couple of hours later-- when Jackson’s just stepped out of the shower all clean and fresh and luxuriating sleepily on the couch from where him and Jaebum had finished with their moment-- and with that huge kid Yugyeom in tow.

The two youngsters are both dressed to the nine's in some of the most revealing clothing that Jaebum has ever seen, and he makes a comment about them being careful that they don't receive unwanted attention considering they're both only fifteen.

"Hyung!" BamBam whines.

Jackson, however, hasn't even so much as looked in Jaebum's direction since 'Gyeommie' walked in, and considering Jackson's chest, and stomach, and thighs are all still covered in the marks made by _Jaebum's_ mouth, it rubs him up the wrong way a little to see Jackson so blatantly all over someone else.

It's not possessiveness in the sense that he's worried that Jackson will hit on Yugyeom because Jackson is allowed to mess around with whoever he wants-- but it's more of the fact that Jackson was just with him barely twenty minutes ago, and now he's throwing himself all over another man-- a _boy_ at that, and Jaebum is still just standing right-fucking-there.

"Jackson-ah," he grunts, "leave him alone."

Jackson looks over from where he's pushed Yugyeom down onto the sofa and is now practically straddling one of Yugyeom's mile long legs, his hands cradling the youngest's face; the two of them speaking in low tones.

"But hyung," he all but moans. "Gyeommie is so cute! He's like, the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"It’s fine, Jaebum-ssi," Yugyeom laughs it off bashfully, rests his hands on Jackson's hips carefully.

"Yeah, they're always like this," BamBam agrees sat beside the two, gives Jaebum the side-eye. "Are you sure you've never met Gyeom before?"

"We have!" Yugyeom pipes up. "Well, I've met Jaebum-ssi before, but I don't know if he remembers me."

Jaebum glances over from where he's leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and arches an eyebrow. He looks away when he sees Jackson getting even more comfortable in Yugyeom's lap; now facing away and reclining against his broad chest, pulling Yugyeom's arms until they wrap around his waist.

"We were both at that JYP dance academy a few years back," Yugyeom hides his shy grin in Jackson's shoulder. "I was only sixteen at the time so I was just in the kids group, but Jaebum-ssi was with the more elite crowd. Everyone loved his b-boying skills."

"B-boy king!" Jackson cheers and Yugyeom grunts as Jackson elbows him in the chest.

"I don't really remember you," Jaebum tries to sound apologetic but Jackson is at rubbing Yugyeom's belly and lifting his shirt, talking about bruising and asking him if he can see his abs again, and _that kind of pisses Jaebum off because they're in his dorm and on his couch and--_

"Where are you guys off to anyway?" Jaebum asks BamBam, shouts really, but everyone has already accepted that Jaebum is just an angry person so no-one comments. "Didn't you go out last night?"

"It's our Christmas break, hyung, we go out every night," BamBam explains in exasperation. "Even though the festivities are over; classes start back again in just a week. Soon enough, we won't have any time to be partying at all."

"The horror," Jaebum supplies and BamBam just nods before standing up and stretching out his legs. He cracks his neck and fixes his gold lace choker. "You guys want to come?"

"Dancing? With Gyeommie?" Jackson practically hits the ceiling as he jumps up. "I'm in! Can we stop by my room so I can change?"

"What's wrong with what you have on?" BamBam shrugs before he squints a little, a knowing grin curving his mouth. "Wait, isn't that the shirt you got Jaebum-hyung for Christmas?"

Both Jackson and Jaebum look at the black, special-made 'Def Soul' t-shirt adorning Jackson's torso. Jaebum doesn't say anything because it's none of BamBam's damn business, and the Chinese boy just winks and bounds over to the front door, pulling his shoes on excitedly.

\--

The club is misty when they walk in, the air heavy with the bass from a catchy, drugging dance song and filled with the smell of sweet smoke and liquor and sweat. The walls are all tinted a deep magenta, the carpet dark and plush and red, and the enormous dance-floor in the centre is a huge, dark-wood square that takes up four fifths of the whole interior.

It's actually pretty dark too; the occasional coloured strobe light rolling past only every ten seconds and high-lighting the side of Jackson's face as he looks at the place in awe. Jaebum wonders what kind of clubs he's been to in the past if this place is looking swanky to him. Certainly not any that they’ve been to together.

The usual bunch of people that turn up to every club-night are there, but Jaebum sidesteps the leers and come-ons and finds an unoccupied table hidden deep in the swampy blackness, just around the other side of the bar.

He sits down heavily in one of the padded seats and relaxes a little as he tries to remember why he was feeling so irritated earlier; but then he looks up and sees Jackson clinging to Yugyeom instead and he remembers that oh, yeah, Jackson's found someone else to hook up with tonight and… And he's totally fine with, and completely unaffected by that, actually. Next question please.

"This place is so cool," Jackson breathes, "I've been to nightclubs before; of course. Drinking clubs, disco clubs, country-clubs, party clubs, _rave clubs_ , but I've never actually been to a legitimate _dance-club_! Holy shit!" His eyes scan the room, sparkle in the low light. "I can't wait to get out there."

"What's a party club?" Yugyeom wonders, sitting down opposite Jaebum and the older just rolls his eyes.

"Jackson-ah's just being extra again," he mutters. "You'll learn that about him."

"Hey!" Jackson cuts in with a frown. "I'm not extra! I'm funny! And I'd only known you for a few months before I met Gyeommie anyway. His Eomma loves me!" He sits down beside Jaebum but scoots his seat closer to Yugyeom, eyes soft. "How is your Eomma, by the way? Is she settling into her new house well?"

Jaebum's had pretty much just enough of Jackson acting like well, _Jackson_ , and so he scrapes his chair loudly against the floor as he stands, hooks a hand in BamBam's collar and pulls him up too. "We'll go and get the drinks," he says to the others eyebrow raise and he stomps off, BamBam straggling behind until he gets to the bar.

"Hey oppa," a woman stood beside him leers, lips artificially red (unlike Jackson's whose just go that colour when they've been making out for too long), and lashes lowered seductively. "Want to buy me a drink?"

Jaebum ignores her because not only is this woman clearly far too old to be calling him 'oppa', but also because he's actually feeling pretty pissed off right now and doesn’t want to talk to someone who (definitely) just wants to use him for his money. Eventually she huffs in disappointment, insults his hair and disappears to go and get drunk off of someone else's generosity. Jaebum shoots a guffawing BamBam a withering look because it really wasn't that funny.

"So... You and Yugyeom-ssi," he starts because he's held back long enough now, and there's something itching inside of him that he has to ask before he explodes into a million pieces of confetti. "How long have you known each other for?"

BamBam looks up from where he'd been taking a selca on his phone. He purses his plump mouth in thought.

"I want to say seven years," BamBam furrows his brows, "but it's probably been longer than that. We met when we both went to some cheap-ass summer camp for six weeks. It sucked, but we had each other, I guess," he shudders suddenly, looks at Jaebum with wide, blue, contact-lensed eyes. "They made me wear a white polyester t-shirt with a rat on it, hyung."

Jaebum smirks, beckons the bartender over.

"I tried to tell them that nothing but silk and cashmere touches this skin but they just said I was being arrogant. I was meant to be a bunny but they put me with the rats instead because of it. Luckily, the rats were partnered with the squirrels, so I just ended up with Gyeom as my partner and the rest is history."

"Hm," Jaebum hums, tries to act disinterested because he knows what BamBam is like, and he knows that he'll look more into the next question than he really needs to. He points out the drinks he wants on the menu, slides over the money and leans back against the bar to wait. "So," and he's aiming for nonchalance here, hence the nonchalant position he's in. "You've known him for longer than you've known Jackson-ah, then?"

BamBam snorts, "Jackson-hyung was one of our camp counsellors," luckily he's back on his phone now, too busy pouting for the flash again to notice the tension in Jaebum's posture. "He had come to Korea for the summer and we all met at the same time. He barely knew any Korean and yet he was supposed to navigate us through the woods on a night-time foraging trip. Obviously, he just ended up freaking out, and in the end, Namjoon-hyung had to be the one to lead us out instead."

Jaebum feels his stomach dip, something in his chest twist; because Kim Namjoon is a name that he's all too familiar with.

The younger Korean boy is a multilingual wizard, a musical artist, an academic mastermind and a cutie to boot. He's been dating visual of the year Kim Seokjin for over two years, is best friends with hard-core underground rapper, lyrical genius (and weed distributor-- Jaebum knows that's who Bambam's getting it from!) Min Yoongi, and not that this is relevant or anything, but he also just so happens to be the ex of one Jackson Wang.

The bartender comes over with two trays of four glasses and Jaebum scoops one up, shoves it into BamBam's hands, and reaches for the other for himself. He's not surprised that his little quest for information just ended up agitating him even more than he already was. He really should learn to mind his own business.

"Is this just fruit juice?" Jackson picks up a glass with a lemon wedge for decoration as they get back, sucks vigorously from the straw. "I can't have alcohol tonight because I have work tomorrow."

"I remember," Jaebum says. He sits down beside Jackson because that just so happens to be the only seat available, and pulls his own glass of beer from the tray BamBam's just set down. His throat closes up before he can drink.

"Why didn't you tell me you were at camp?"

"What?" Jackson's brows furrow. "Camp?"

"Yes," Jaebum grinds out. "That summer... When you were here and you didn't even tell me. You were there, right?"

"Oh," recognition lights up Jackson's expression. "Yeah, I was one of the counsellors. That was around the time that I was dating Namjoon-ah, why?"

Jaebum drinks deep because his mouth is so dry his next words would've probably been dust if he hadn't. "You know I would’ve gone if I knew you were there, Jackson-ah,” he frowns. “But you didn't even tell me you were here in the country.”

Jackson's expression softens. He reaches out and presses a hand to Jaebum's forearm lightly.

"I was embarrassed about my Korean, hyung," he says honestly. "We’d been talking for a while but I still felt like I wasn't making any progress. I convinced my Eomma to let me come here for the summer so I would be able to learn better, and I guess I just ended up meeting the others."

"You still could've told me," Jaebum says. "Even if you didn't want to meet up... You could've at least just let me know you were only an hour or so away."

Jackson sighs dejectedly, "that was over seven years ago" he bites his lip. "But yes, you’re right. I should've said something and I'm sorry. But trust me, hyung, it was a really shitty camp, you should be glad you didn’t go. If it wasn't for Namjoon, I probably wouldn't've learned anything at all there."

"I'll bet," Jaebum murmurs and Jackson sighs louder but more playfully now.

"You act like you didn't get up to anything when you were seventeen, hyung." He grins. "Don't forget, I know all about the _girls_ ," he nudges Jaebum with an elbow, "about you and _Jinyoungie_."

"All me and Jinyoungie did was kiss once and it was terrible," Jaebum scoffs. "He hit me in the eye afterwards and said he was sorry but he didn't think he liked men. I didn't date him for like, four years or something like that."

"I was with Joon-ah for three and I was in Hong Kong for about a year of it." Jackson says matter-of-factly. "And it's a good thing that Jinyoungie _did_ leave your ass because now he's with Markie-pooh and he couldn't be happier, right?"

Jaebum grunts.

"Oh, come on hyung, cheer up," Jackson sighs, rubbing the back of Jaebum’s neck affectionately. "I’m here now, we’re all friends. How about you come and dance with me; we can dance like nobody's watching?"

Jaebum nudges him off, sips at his beer again.

"I thought you wanted to dance with _Gyeommie_ ," He snaps back and he realises too late that he sounds like a petulant child. He shoots a look towards where Yugyeom is talking on his phone; the maknae's head down, cheeks pink and grin stellar. No wonder Jackson's come back to Jaebum again; his little boy-toy is busy.

Jackson laughs, stands up and pulls Jaebum up, too. He steps closer, slides his arms around Jaebum's neck.

“You’re so silly, hyung," he murmurs beginning to sway. "I want to dance with you, too. Just close your eyes and feel it."

Jaebum sighs but does as he's told, wraps his own arms around Jackson's waist and pulls him close, turns his nose into Jackson's hair. The hyped up music softens and something slow and deep replaces it. Jackson's humming along to the song quietly, Jaebum can feel the vibrations from where Jackson's chest is pressed against his. He also still smells like Jaebum's body-wash from the shower he took earlier in Jaebum's dorm, and for some reason, it makes Jaebum's heart constrict because this feels too close, too intimate all of a sudden.

"That's enough of that," he pulls back and sits down again. He crosses his arms over himself in an attempt to stop his heart hammering out of his rib-cage and avoids eye-contact because come on now, this is just _Jackson_. Calm yourself, man.

Jackson pouts but his eyes are more curious than disappointed.

"We should call you no-fun-hyung," the Chinese boy snipes. He walks around to BamBam and drapes himself over the younger, presses his nose into the other boy's cheek even as BamBam complains about Jackson rubbing away his concealer.

"Dance with me," he demands. "Jaebum-hyung is being no fun."

"That rhymes as well," BamBam laughs as he stands up with a stretch. "And come to think of it, is there ever a time when Jaebum-hyung is fun, anyway?" He looks over at Jackson, sees the Chinese boy's sly smirk and wrinkles his nose. "You know what, don't answer that, let's just go."

He takes Jackson's hand and after yanking Yugyeom up by the arm and ordering him to get off the phone, the three youngest make their way to the dance-floor.

Jaebum stays where he is and watches them disappear into the crowd as he mulls over his own thoughts. He doesn’t think about Jackson (because that’s too much right now) and so he settles on his near impossible college assignment, instead. He thinks about how creating a full-length song and six-thousand word essay for his final year assignment is taking longer than he expected, and he wonders how the hell he's going to get any of it done. And especially when all he can think about is how annoyed he is at not going on a stupid camping trip that happened over seven stupid years ago. And all about a boy that he’s not even in love with, may he mention. How pathetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <333!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a filler kinda chapter about Jaebum and Jackson's background and stuff. Please, enjoy! >

** THREE **

The first time Im Jaebum met Jackson Wang, they were both sixteen years old. Jaebum's school was holding a huge event where students from all over Asia participated in every sport known to man, and for at least two weeks of his life, Jaebum had seen more than his fair share of the track, field and gym.

Jaebum had never been a big sportsman himself and so had taken refuge in the courtyard every time the building filled up with athletes and supporters alike. It wasn't that he was anti-social or shy or anything, but it was just that sports had never really fascinated him and so he wasn’t really interested in talking to anyone new.

He‘d been sitting on a bench around the back of the school, his earphones in his ears and his phone in his hands on the third day of the event when a kid in a snapback and clothes far too big for him had walked by. Jaebum looked up as the kid sent him a killer grin and so to be polite (because he didn’t recognise this boy and so he probably knew nothing of Jaebum’s reputation) he had nodded his head back in acknowledgement before looking back at his phone again.

When the kid had gone past a second time barely a minute later, Jaebum just watched silently until he disappeared around the corner he’d first come from, the same bright smile still plastered to his boyish face.

And by the time the boy had gone by for a third time, Jaebum had started to get a little annoyed. He quirked one eyebrow up in question when they made eye-contact-- because maybe the boy was just lost-- but instead of awkwardly asking about a certain room number or shyly questioning where the bathroom was, like any normal person would (and that really should’ve been his first clue)-- the kid had taken this as a cue for conversation instead and practically galloped over to where Jaebum's sat. Jaebum silently berated himself but removed an earphone all the same.

The boy was about his age; bright-eyed, excited and actually kind of _pretty_ as he sat beside Jaebum and cleared his throat. Jaebum continued to watch him and the kid beamed, thrust out a hand in greeting and spoke (in broken Korean, mind you), "Hey! I'm Hong Kong. Your school is good."

Jaebum just rose both his eyebrows at that.

"Shit," the kid whispered in English this time, held up a hand. "Give me a second, yeah?"

Jaebum watched, wondering silently just how many languages this boy could speak when he pulled out his phone, fiddled with the buttons and passed it over to Jaebum. Jaebum took it reluctantly and looked down at the screen, hoping he wasn't being shown naked pictures or anything like that (because that's happened before, you know) and looked at the text.

_Hi! My name is Jackson Wang (but you can call me J-Flawless ;) ;) ;). I'm from Hong Kong and I'm here to do fencing. Are you doing a sport? What do you like to do?_

"Jack-son Wang?" Jaebum had voiced phonetically and the boy had squealed so loudly Jaebum jumped in fright.

"Ahh, shimkoong!" 'Jackson' clasped a hand over his chest. "Your voice is deep."

Jaebum nodded, still a little shell-shocked. He cleared his throat and looked away shyly.

"Er… Thank you," he said in English (because he knew a little bit of it thanks to American TV) and Jackson stared at him wide-eyed for a moment before he'd crumbled to the floor, eyes closed.

Jaebum jumped up in alarm (because did this guy have narcolepsy or something?) and looked around the deserted courtyard, this Jackson kid's phone still in his hand. He crouched down quickly, trying to check for an emergency wristband or contact card or _something_ when those huge brown eyes snapped open again and Jaebum almost jumped out of his skin for the second time that afternoon.

"Sorry, sorry!" Jackson sat up quickly, eyes dancing with laughter from the look on Jaebum’s face. "It was just meant to be a joke! I’m fine!"

Jaebum paused, recognised the word ‘joke’ and frowned. He threw Jackson's phone down into its owners lap and moved to get his bag but Jackson stood up quickly and reached for his hand. "No, no! Wait!" He’d cried. He picked his phone up again and began typing away furiously with one hand as his other remained shackled around Jaebum's wrist. Jaebum paused, mouth pursed impatiently until Jackson finally shoved his phone back to Jaebum, his bottom lip caught between his teeth and Jaebum sighed and read.

 _I'm sorry_ , _I'm always being an idiot but I'd really like to get to know someone from Korea and you seemed like the nicest guy I’ve met so far. Can you teach me better Korean? I promise I'll be on my best behaviour._

Jaebum looked back up to the other boy, took in the sincerity behind his doe-like eyes and the pouty bottom lip and sighed (why was he always such a softie for a pretty face?). Also, _Jaebum_  had actually been called a _nice guy_ and it wasn’t often that that happened in this school so what could it hurt to actually be one every now and then?

"Okay," he said in English again (and he wondered lightly if he would regret befriending this Jackson). "My name is Im Jaebum. And uh... Sports, no. But I like dance… er… like, uh… b-boy?"

"Ah, b-boy king!" Jackson had grinned immediately as he took his phone back with a sunshine-y grin. He reached over and wrapped an arm around Jaebum’s, clinging to him like a lover even though they’d just met and tilted his head, eyes narrowed. "Your English is pretty good, Im Jaebum. So chic!" He announced seriously.

Jaebum had begun to regret everything already.

 --

By the time Jaebum had actually started to like Jackson and not find him so unbelievably annoying, the two weeks of the event had finished and Jackson had gone back to Hong Kong in a whirlwind of tears and souvenirs and new friends, leaving only his email address behind for Jaebum to contact him on.

Jaebum had been a little flattered that someone as unsociable as him managed to make friends so quickly and especially with a foreigner at that, and messaged Jackson a few days later. Jinyoung hadn’t been the only one surprised when such a close friendship between the two of them had formed.

Jackson Wang had turned out to be somewhat of an enigma. He was bright and rowdy and dramatic as all hell but he also knew when to get serious and when to take things down a notch. He knew when he could tease until Jaebum was ready to buy a plane ticket to fly to Hong Kong to beat his ass and when to rein things in and keep the smart comments to a minimum. He was kind and friendly but also stubborn and goading. He was cute and squishy but also dark and flirty. It was hard to get a read on him but he'd also willing tell Jaebum about anything that he asked. It was confusing and kind of... Alluring.

The one thing that Jaebum _did_ get about Jackson most of all, though, was definitely his sense of humour. There weren't many people in the world that could make Jaebum laugh until he had an actual six-pack forming in his stomach, but if there was a list for them all, Jackson would almost certainly be at the top of it. No contest needed.

And so sure enough, it wasn’t long before they were speaking every day; Jackson's Korean having improved in leaps and bounds over the next few months and Jaebum was not only impressed at the other's progress, but also at himself. He hadn't known that he had been such a good teacher that he could teach a boy from overseas another language just over messaging and Skype (even if Jinyoung sometimes joined in on their chats, too), and it made him pretty damn proud of himself for his solo accomplishment.

Jaebum had found out six months later, of course, that Jackson hadn’t got better just because of him, but also because he had spent the previous summer in Korea and hadn't even told Jaebum.

He’d found out even later than that (i.e. last fucking _week_ ) that it was because Jackson had been a camp counsellor during the holidays at some shitty summer camp, and instead of spending time with Jaebum (his _best friend_ ); he was helping guide BamBam through the wilderness, protecting baby Yugyeom from the wildlife, and probably letting Kim freaking Namjoon feel him up behind the boat shed.

(Because oh yeah, Jackson hadn’t actually _told_ Jaebum he’d had a boyfriend until more than _eight months_ into their friendship-- and hadn't that been surprise when Jaebum let Jackson know about a new girl that kept talking to him in school, and Jackson _just so happened to mention_ that he’d been in a relationship with a boy for almost an entire year and a half at the time. Ha, the things that slip your mind, huh?).

And even though it hadn’t really been Jaebum’s business and hadn’t actually affected their friendship in any way at all when he did find out (because it’s not like Jaebum had a _crush_ on Jackson or anything), it had still hurt to think that Jackson might not have told him just because he didn't trust him. Worse thinking was that Jackson hadn’t told him because he didn’t even care about Jaebum, and considering that the Hong Kong native was forever telling Jaebum that there were very few people in the world he cared about as much as he did him, that thought was just pretty devastating, really.

\--

The first thing that Jaebum noticed about Kim Namjoon was just how tall he was compared to Jackson. He was lanky, slim but with a cute round face and ocean-deep dimples that Jackson was forever poking and fawning over whenever he showed pictures.

The first time Jaebum _met_ Namjoon in person, it had been just under a year before the pairs break up. Jackson had moved to Korea permanently at that point and had started attending an international school that neither Jaebum nor Namjoon went to, and so seeing him became moments that were few and far between.

Jackson would talk forever about wanting to get his two best friends together, though, and so even though Jaebum was wary, it was pretty difficult to say no to Jackson when he looked up at him with those big, brown eyes. Obviously, Namjoon had felt the same way, because after several failed attempts at get-togethers by Jackson, Namjoon had finally arrived at the meeting point almost two minutes after Jaebum had; looking like someone had dressed him in the clothes from a lost and found box but with his hair carefully styled and a pair of dark sunglasses permanently fixed to his face.

“Joon-ah!” Jackson had cried when he'd arrived a few minutes later, skipping towards the two of them at full-speed with a huge grin on his face and ‘Joon-ah’ had smiled. He held his arms open for Jackson to fall into and the smaller had done just that, grinning brightly until he caught sight of Jaebum, too. “Jaebummie-hyung! You came!”

Jaebum had looked away, finding it difficult to maintain his stoic, bad-boy image in front of the new guy when Jackson was looking so damn happy from seeing the both of them together, but he finally had to crack a smile when it was obvious Jackson wasn’t going to calm down.

“See,” Jackson gushed as he pulled away from Namjoon, hitting him lightly in the chest as he walked over to be enveloped into Jaebum’s arms instead. “I told you hyung wasn’t scary. He’s cute.”

“Hm, cute,” Namjoon gave him a brief smile. Jaebum barely returned it.

\--

They had gone out to eat because Jackson began to complain about being starving after his lessons, and Jaebum had followed behind the two of them like the third wheel he knew he’d be.

Jackson jabbered on a mile a minute about God-knows what, occasionally slipping into English when he couldn't think of a way to express himself properly in Korean, and Namjoon just laughed along because the two were English-speaking soul-mates or something.

When they'd arrived at a homely little ramen place that was big enough to be someone's house, Jaebum felt like running for the hills. He didn't know how he'd be able to cope being cooped up in a steamy little hole-in-the wall with the couple of the century snuggling up opposite him, but then Jackson had turned back to him, beamed like the sun peeking between the rain clouds and held out a hand for him. And Jaebum, the complete and utter sap he was, had found it impossible to turn away.

The food had been good, the company had been... Okay. Namjoon had finally removed his shades and Jackson had almost caused severe perforation of everyone’s eardrums as he swooned over how adorable the other looked without them. Jaebum supposed he was all right if you liked that kind of look, which Jackson obviously did, and so it didn’t matter what Jaebum thought _anyway_ so moving on…

Luckily for Jaebum, though, that had been the only real couple-y moment they’d had throughout the meal, thankfully, and by the end it was more like he’d been out to eat with a friend and his _brother_ than a friend and his boyfriend (although Jaebum did sometimes catch Namjoon looking at him with a somewhat calculating gaze, but maybe that was just because Jaebum was also looking back at him the same way. It’s anyone’s guess, really).

Jackson hadn't seemed to notice any looks or glares or narrowed eyes as he’d just talked on and on about school. He spoke about his friends, his family and had laughed at anything that Namjoon said but rolled his eyes in fond exasperation when Jaebum spoke instead.

"I'm really glad you came," Jackson had grinned after they’d walked Jaebum to the bus stop for him to get home and Namjoon stood a few feet away, waiting to walk Jackson back. "I know it must've been weird not knowing each other but I really do want us all to be friends. Thank you."

"Of course," Jaebum had half-smiled, ignored the squirmy feeling in his blood. "He's a nice guy, Jackson-ah... I'm glad you're happy."

\--

They had all met several times after that in an array of different circumstances. Jaebum had found it difficult to say no to Jackson, and had always agreed to any meeting he had set forth no matter the amount of disapproving looks Jinyoung would send him.

"You're going to get hurt," Jinyoung would sigh when Jaebum would rush to finish his homework so he could meet up with his Chinese dongsaeng. "No-one acts like this if they aren't at least a little bit in love, hyung."

Jaebum would just sneer.

Soon enough, however, Jaebum began to notice that the meetings between the three of them started to include Namjoon less and less. Jackson would shrug it off, murmur that he had taken up a part-time job in the local Korean BBQ restaurant recently (coincidentally, the same one where he'd meet Seokjin a couple of years later) and didn't really have time to date, but Jaebum had also noticed that there was something unusual about Jackson, too.

He was still his loud and rambunctious self but sometimes Jaebum would just catch him looking at Jaebum with brows drawn together, his teeth worrying his bottom lip as though he was thinking about something but just couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. He'd ask Jaebum questions about when he was going to find someone for himself instead; when Jaebum was going to get with someone serious who would _love_ him like he deserved, and Jaebum would just roll his eyes and mutter distractedly about school and family, about _life_.

It had been almost ten months after meeting Namjoon for the first time that Jaebum had been tiredly getting ready for a date with his most current girlfriend, when his phone started buzzing on the side. Jaebum had put down the bottle of cologne he’d been spraying at the sight of Jackson's name flashing up on the screen, and lifted the phone to his ear, clearing his throat to rid all signs of tiredness as he pressed the answer button.

"Jaebummie-hyung?" Jackson's voice had been soft, vulnerable and Jaebum had immediately straightened up from he’d slumped down onto his bed. "Can I come see you?"

Jaebum had agreed and within almost fifteen minutes there had been the trill of his doorbell. Jaebum told his parents that it was fine, just Jackson coming over for a visit and the two left him alone as he opened the front door only to have Jackson fall into his arms; warm, familiar and smelling like soap.

They'd gone up to Jaebum's room and curled up together on his bed, Jackson keeping his face tucked into Jaebum's neck as the other rubbed his back reassuringly.

"Do you believe in true love?" Jackson had asked quietly as he finally drew away, his face dry but his eyes rimmed with red, bottom lip almost bitten raw from his constant chewing.

Jaebum had licked his own lips subconsciously, reached out to pull Jackson's bottom lip free from his teeth with his thumb. "What do you mean?"

Jackson swallowed deeply before he spoke, "Me and Joon-ah broke up," he whispered. "Things weren't the same between us anymore, it was mutual but I... I don't know, hyung. I mean, I could see it wasn't going anywhere but it hurts, you know?"

"Of course," Jaebum nodded along.

"But I just... I mean," Jackson closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and when he'd opened them again they’d been clear, soft. "What would you do, hyung? If you were in love with someone but you were dating someone else? Would you leave the person you were dating to pursue something that could possibly never be? Or would you stay with the person you were with even if they could tell your heart wasn't in it anymore?"

Jaebum frowned, smoothed his thumb over Jackson's jaw, the corner of his mouth.

"Is this about Namjoon-ssi?" He'd asked, "Is he... Did you split up because he was in love with someone else?”

Jackson gave Jaebum a blank look, sighed and then smiled a little sad and fond.

"My Jaebummie-hyung is so caring," he pressed close again, voice muffled by Jaebum’s skin. "Just promise me that you'll always be my friend okay?"

It had been a weird request but Jaebum didn’t really think much of it. He didn't think he needed to say anything, though, hoping the way he'd wrapped his arms around the other and the kiss he'd pressed into his hair had been enough of an answer.

It hadn’t been until school the next day that he’d realised he had never actually contacted his girlfriend about their failed date. He couldn’t say that he was surprised when she ranted at him about it but he also couldn’t say he was surprised when he found that he didn’t really care what she had to say at all.

\--

During school, and especially high-school, Jaebum wasn’t known for being one of the friendliest of guys. It wasn’t that he was a big-time rebel or anything, he didn’t do drugs or smoke or sleep around, but he definitely had a reputation for being somewhat… Insubordinate.

One of the most memorable incidences (and coincidentally the first time Jackson had found out about Jaebum’s extra-curricular activities of fighting like a street dog) had happened just after Jackson and Namjoon had broken up. Jaebum had been distracted at school, fed up with his family and had ended up dumping the girl he was with in a pretty not great way (i.e. telling her that he’d never liked her and she was a waste of his time to be with).

And even if this was all true and she hadn't taken it in the best of ways, it was still pretty surprising when she sent her friends over to _discipline_ him after school for breaking her heart. They didn’t manage to really injure him that badly (because they both arrived bare-handed and Jaebum was pretty quick) but he didn’t get away clean, either, and by the time he’d managed to escape the scuffle with the two other guys, he’d already had a busted lip and chin, a twisted wrist and two sets of sore, bloody knuckles.

When he’d arrived home and Jackson was already there waiting for him to have their movie night together the Chinese boy had freaked and immediately dragged Jaebum up to his room before sitting him on his bed and going to get the first-aid kit from the bathroom. Jackson winced when he moved to stand before the elder, tilted Jaebum’s chin up as his brows drew together in confusion, “So I’m guessing this wasn’t a skateboarding accident or something, huh?”

Jaebum hadn’t answered, choosing to duck his head as he felt shame swell inside him now that the adrenaline was gone and he was sat in front of Jackson of all people.

“Why were you fighting, hyung?” Jackson asked. He didn’t sound disappointed, but Jaebum had still heard something off in his tone. He was still gentle when he swept the hair off of Jaebum’s forehead to inspect the rest of his face, though, and then snapped open the first-aid case to find some antiseptic wipes to take care of the bleeding. He carefully cleaned the grit from the scuff on Jaebum’s chin and the blood from his lip before attending to his hands, making a sympathetic noises when Jaebum hissed at the twisting of the delicate joint but Jaebum still didn’t answer.

He couldn’t tell Jackson that he’d been fighting because he’d broken up with _another_ girl in a horrible way (because it happened pretty often and Jackson was always disappointed in him), and _especially_ not considering Jackson and Namjoon’s own break up was still so raw, so he’d just shrugged instead.

“It’s nothing,” He’d muttered quietly watching the younger work. He waited patiently until every cut was disinfected and his wrist was neatly wrapped before he pulled the other close, wrapping his arms around Jackson and bringing him against him so he could bury his face into the familiar smelling cotton of Jackson’s shirt, gripping onto the back of it so hard, he fleetingly wondered if it would tear. 

Jackson just rubbed a hand over the space between Jaebum’s shoulder blades, raked his fingers though dark, soft hair, and sighed in a soft voice, “You know if you mess up that handsome face too much I won’t want to marry you anymore, hyung,” He’d said jokingly.

Jaebum had snorted, tried not to grin so as not to agitate his lip anymore. Having a friend like Jackson was definitely something he needed. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be like if he hadn't had him around.

\--

“You need to get out and date more, hyung,” Jinyoung would always tell him when he’d once again become newly single. “Someone who’s friendly and loyal. Someone who’s kind and would always be happy to see you.”

“So basically the human equivalent of a puppy?” Jaebum would snort in return. “Thanks Jinyoungie, but I’m good.”

It wasn’t that Jaebum was a _bad_ boyfriend exactly, it was just that he was very finicky in the things he liked. He didn’t like it when girls played hard to get but then he didn’t like it when they were really clingy either. He didn’t like it when they wouldn’t let him pay for dates but then he wasn’t too fond of the ones that demanded or expected it without question. 

He liked boys too, he was sure, but there just hadn’t been anyone that had really caught his eye. Jinyoung was cute, but he couldn’t see himself _ever_ having a relationship with him (and especially not after their disaster of a first kiss together). Youngjae was a gem, but he was definitely more of a little brother than a lover, and Jackson-- well, let’s just say that the day that Im Jaebum ended up dating Jackson Wang would be a very surreal one indeed for everyone involved (if that day ever came, of course-- which it never would).

And anyway, it wasn’t like he was the only one because Jackson had never really shown any interest in anyone since Namjoon either. He’d always been a massive flirt, always practically thrown himself over any reasonably attractive man they came across and groped at pecs and biceps, and abs as they were revealed, but he’d never dated anyone again.

In fact, the only time that Jaebum had even witnessed a guy hitting on Jackson had been one time when the two of them and Jinyoung had gone to the park together on a Friday afternoon after school. Jaebum didn’t remember the day too well, couldn’t really think of the events that lead up to it all exactly-- maybe the guy was being sleazy about something (probably), maybe he was trying to lure Jackson into something that Jackson definitely shouldn’t get himself involved in (perhaps)-- but the next thing everyone knew, when the guy had leaned over to touch Jackson’s arm, Jaebum had maybe sort of kind of _decked_ him.

It wasn’t hard enough to break his nose-- Jaebum had repeated this several times to Jackson and Jinyoung in the following days afterwards-- just to kind knock it out of place, and anyway, it had only bled for like, five minutes so it wasn’t even all that serious. Jaebum was just protecting Jackson’s honour! He was being a _good friend_ and stopping these… these _perverts_ from coming on to him.

And so what if they found out later that the guy was training to be a doctor at Seoul’s most prestigious university and as he was resetting his own nose in the park toilet amid Jackson’s awe-filled applause, had told them that he had just wanted to talk to Jackson because he was from Hong Kong too and heard his accent. Jaebum was being a good citizen! He didn’t know why Jinyoung was even looking at him like that. Jaebum didn’t see _him_ doing anything.

But anyway, word got around after that and soon enough everyone thought that Jaebum was Jackson’s boyfriend or something like that and so no-one ever tried it on with Jackson again. Of course this was all for Jackson’s own good. Jaebum wasn’t some sort of jealous tyrant that didn’t want Jackson to date purely because he wanted him for himself now that he possibly had a chance. That was preposterous. And besides, it’s not like Jackson was exactly going out and looking for anyone either.

And as Jaebum had told Jinyoung already; the reason _why_ he gave up his ring for Jackson to wear was because it was good as a weapon; that and the fact that if Jaebum couldn’t be around to protect him whilst he was in school, it would basically serve as a reminder to anyone that tried it with Jackson that he had a caring and defensive _friend_ on the outside. Someone that would do absolutely anything he could to keep him safe and well. It was all just common sense when you thought about it.

\--

The summer before college came quicker than Jaebum expected. After the last few months of school filled with stress and exams, he'd been overjoyed when he could finally get some _rest_.

Jackson would visit him nearly every day or vice versa when Jaebum wasn’t working part-time in a convenience store, and since Jackson had lived in a small apartment by himself after his parents had decided to move back to Hong Kong at the beginning of the summer, it meant that Jaebum could go and sleep over at Jackson's without being nagged at by his own parents to focus on his upcoming lessons in medicine (he had yet to tell them that they shouldn't expect a Pharmacist in the family anytime soon).

"I think you should just blurt it out one day," Jackson shrugged as he made his way past where Jaebum was sat on the kitchen countertop and tiptoed to get a box of cereal out of the cupboard (Jaebum usually put it right at the top on purpose because seeing that every morning was just too cute to pass up).

"I can't just do that, Jackson-ah," Jaebum muttered, picking up another piece of melon with his fingers and tapping the juice back into the bowl. "They'd never let me go."

"You're nineteen years old, hyung." Jackson snorted. "I don't think they could stop you. They couldn't stop you from going out and b-boying when you were supposed to be in school, they can't stop you now."

"They didn't _know_ I was going out and b-boying instead of going to school," Jaebum ground out. "There's a difference."

"No, there isn't," Jackson laughed, poured his cereal into a bowl and then went to find the milk. "Because they _definitely_ knew you were skipping."

Jaebum rolled his eyes, ate another piece of melon. He drifted, lost in his own thoughts for awhile but when he looked up, the Chinese boy was looking back at him, spoon dripping milk back into the bowl from where it hovered, Jackson's gaze fixated on his mouth.

"What?" Jaebum narrowed his eyes, broke the spell and Jackson shrugged, put his bowl on the side and then stepped forwards until they were almost nose to nose. "Is the melon nice?"

Jaebum swallowed heavily, nodded as he picked up another piece and pressed it to Jackson's lips. Jackson bit it into half, made sure his teeth scraped against Jaebum's fingertips then chased the juice that ran down Jaebum's palm with his tongue, his eyes never leaving the elder’s. Jaebum made a noise like he'd been strangled.

Jackson had always been jokingly flirty and especially more so since he split with Namjoon, but he'd never been so blatantly... Sexual before. Jaebum was left somewhat confused at the shift in atmosphere, _confused_ but also incredibly turned on.

"I've been thinking," Jackson murmured, sucked the rest of the fruit from Jaebum's still frozen hand, lapped at the pad of his fingers. "We've been friends for a long time, hyung. We know everything about each other, we _care_ a lot about each other... What do you think about becoming something... More?"

"More?” Jaebum croaked, voice raspy. “Like as in a relationship _more_?" He looked back into his bowl, chewed the inside of his cheek, "well, no offense, Jackson-ah, but I'm really not looking for anything serious right now and I think it'd probably ruin our friendship if we did date, so..."

"Not dating, silly-hyung!" Jackson rolled his eyes, placed his hands on Jaebum's knees and pushed them apart to step between them. "Just something more... Physical."

Jaebum felt his breath hitch at the touch of Jackson's hot mouth against his pulse point, at the hands that slid up his thighs and squeezed. Sex ruined perfectly good friendships but Jackson was just being so arousing right now it wasn’t fair.

"What, like... Like fuckbuddies?" He asked quietly.

"Mmm," Jackson pushed Jaebum's shirt up, pressed wet kisses against his Adam's apple. "If that's what you want?"

Jaebum had lost it then. He pushed Jackson away, slid off the counter and stepped forwards until he towered over the other. "No feelings," he pulled Jackson back again, closer. "No emotions, no threesomes and no dating others… If either of us meets someone during this... thing, then we break this off. No-one gets hurt."

Jackson grinned, hummed, "fair enough," and then giggled a little as Jaebum pressed their lips together in their first kiss, fingers sliding up into Jaebum's dark hair and moaning as his mouth was pried open by Jaebum's eager tongue.

"Take me to bed then, Jaebummie-hyung," he’d purred as he withdrew and then fallen into giggles when Jaebum face-palmed at the nickname, but finally scooped Jackson up to carry him to the bedroom.

It had been rushed, clumsy but also _unbelievably_ worth it and Jaebum felt his heart sing at the thought that this could actually become something permanent. But as Jaebum turned over to see Jackson sleeping peacefully beside him; all curved biceps and dark lashes and cute, upturned nose, he couldn't work out if what they'd just done had either been the best decision or the worst mistake they'd ever made in their lives.

\--

The weeks turned to months and the months turned to years, and soon enough Jaebum realised that it was most _definitely_ the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Of course things hadn't remained as 'feelings-free' as he would've liked, but that was natural when he spent every day around the guy; when he learned what made Jackson laugh until he cried, what parts of his body he liked to have kissed, and what made Jackson orgasm so hard he almost blacked-out.

It wasn't love, exactly, but well, it kind of was, too.

He wasn't _in love_ with Jackson but he did love him, he did adore him and he couldn't really see his future without him, so why did they have to label it? And anyway, what even was love anyway? Jaebum certainly didn't know. Haha ha... Ha... Yeah.

The point was that things had been going on for so long now that Jaebum just couldn't see the point in changing anything. Jackson was a good guy and a great friend and this way, Jaebum didn't have to do all the relationship-y things that everyone else complained about, whilst still managing to get laid (fantastically) regularly.

It had all been great, incredible in fact, well until... 

Until Jaebum had started to feel a little… _Funny_.

It wasn’t a sick feeling, exactly, but it was unusual. It was like the buzzing under his skin that was always there when he was around Jackson had suddenly increased tenfold and he wasn’t sure what had started it.

He soon began to realise that it happened _only_ when they touched, and so for the sake of his own sanity, Jaebum decided that maybe he should try to distance himself from the other for at least a little while. Being around Jackson obviously wasn’t good for him anymore, and so Jaebum made a plan to not-so-much as avoid him, but just maybe not spend so much time around him until the feelings dissipated and things had gone back to normal.

He was going to fill his days with being productive instead. He was going to focus on his work at the convenience store, take Youngjae out for smoothies and stop making Jackson his top priority. He'd stop kissing him, stop fantasising about him, stop picturing him naked when he was alone in the shower and then once the buzzing had stopped, they'd go from there. Perhaps.

 _Yes_ , he’d promised himself, from that point on when Jackson tried to contact him Jaebum would ignore his calls. He'd refuse to reply to his texts, disconnect his Skype, and when Jackson would turn up at his door, his pretty face a moue of confusion, he'd send him on his way without a backward glance. He had everything under control.

(Oh, and just in case you were wondering how long this all lasted, the answer was two days. Maybe Jackson was just very persuasive or maybe Jaebum just had the willpower of a week old baby, but Jaebum was back in Jackson's bed within minutes after their next meeting. And it was great; uncomfortable buzzing and all. So sue him).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. They all make my day. <333!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm overwhelmed with the amount of kudos and comments this has received when I wasn't even going to post it in the first place because I didn't think anyone would like my writing style. So thank you all very much. ^.^!

** FOUR **

Jaebum pulls his headphones off his head and hooks them over the microphone in front of him. He looks through the thick Plexiglas to see Jinyoung and Jackson staring back at him starry-eyed and open-mouthed, and ducks his head self-consciously as he steps out of the recording room.

He's not really feeling the best right now; head pounding and mouth dry, but he guesses that's what happens when you go out two nights in a row and you're supposed to be recording your final track for your final year (even if those party nights had happened just over three days ago by now. Man, he's getting old).

He looks towards a tanned Jinyoung-- because his friend is finally back from his travels-- and then towards an awed Jackson—because he’s just _always_ around-- and he arches an eyebrow at the two, rolls his hand in the air as he tries to get more than just a stunned silence from the pair.

"So…" he mutters as they continue to look at him like he's just fallen from the sky, a pair of angel wings protruding from his back. "Was it any good?"

Jackson recovers first, makes an inhumane sort of yelling noise.

"Are you being serious right now, hyung?" He demands. And he looks angry, but Jaebum's seen this look before and it's not anger; it’s intrigue. " _You_ wrote this?"

"Uh... Yeah?"

And Jaebum isn't sure if he should feel offended or not at the fact that Jackson and Jinyoung still doubt his song-writing skills, because he’s been doing this since before even _middle school_ really, so why wouldn't he at least be half decent? (Bastards).

"But that was like..." Jackson looks to Jinyoung for help, Jaebum's oldest friend staring back at Jackson with a shrug before Jackson lets out a breath. "It was… It was… _Amazing_!"

Jaebum starts at that, eyes widening as his arms are suddenly full of his very hyped-up Chinese dongsaeng, "really?"

"Oh my God, yes, hyung!" Jackson shouts. "That was incredible! Once it's finished it's going to be epic!" He pulls back, expression turning sultry as he trails a hand down Jaebum's chest. "Did you write it about me?"

Jaebum snorts but lets his arm stay around Jackson's waist because why the hell not. "No," he says.

"Let me try that again," Jackson ignores Jinyoung's laughter. "Was this song written about _me_?"

"It wasn't written about anyone," Jaebum defends. He pulls away to grab his bottle of water from the side. "It just came into my head one day, there wasn't anyone that... Influenced it or anything."

"Well, that's a lie if I've ever heard one," Jackson snickers. "Think about, hyung, honestly. Just imagine your first album; black velvet background, a picture of me on the front cover topless and draped in red silk. The title in silver cursive along the top; ' _Jaebummie-hyung wrote 'Prove it' for Jackson-ah-_ -'"

"I'm not naming my first album after you," Jaebum interrupts with a laugh as he sips at his water, moves around to sit in the swivel chair beside Jinyoung. Jackson shakes his head in disappointment.

"I stick by what I said the other night," Jackson says with distaste. "You really are no fun.” He walks over to scoop his snapback off of the hook on the door, and shoves it onto his head backwards before he zips his coat up to his chin. "But anyway, my lunch break is over now, so I'm gonna get back to work. I'll see you two later."

Jaebum flinches, preparing for the incoming mass of boy that will undoubtedly fall into his lap but it doesn’t come. He glances over just in time to see Jackson reaching out to Jinyoung instead, pinching at the youngest’s cheeks with one hand before he plants a kiss against the scrunched up face. Jackson grins triumphantly as he bounces back, yelping as he narrowly misses being hit by a flailing fist.

"I'm glad you're back safe, Jinyoungie!" He beams cutely. "And I'll see you around, Jaebum-hyung!"

Jinyoung makes a show of wiping his face with his sleeves and laughing as Jackson jogs off, but Jaebum looks away to focus on the very important control thingys in front him with nothing more than a grunt of farewell. He can feel Jinyoung’s eyes on him as the door clicks behind their departing friend, senses the grin on the others lips. "Your jealousy is showing, hyung," Jinyoung snorts as he stands up too, slides his jacket from the back of his chair and pulls it on. "If you wanted Jackson-ah to kiss you goodbye all you just had to do was ask."

"Jinyoungie--" Jaebum snaps out of his thoughts to say but Jinyoung just pats him on the shoulder condescendingly.

"I know, I know, there's nothing going on," Jinyoung sounds completely unconvinced. "But I have to go and meet Youngjae-ah for lunch now so I'll leave you to wallow in your self-denial alone. But otherwise, Jackson-ah's right, hyung, the song really does sound good. It _is_ a little odd that there was nothing to inspire it all, though, but maybe that’s just my thinking. I’ll see you back at the dorm, yes?"

Jaebum frowns as Jinyoung squeezes his shoulder once more in parting and leaves with a patronising smile. He wonders why he didn’t take his own advice and go looking for new friends earlier so he wouldn't have to put up with the mental turmoil he’s facing now, but he’s already begun to suspect for a while now that part of him may actually be a bit of a masochist.

 -- 

"It's like this," Mark starts, his brow scrunching as he looks down at his phone. "Korean rap is different to American rap," he looks at Jaebum instead, shoves his phone away before his gaze slides up to the menu above their heads in the campus cafe. "It just seems a lot more... I don't know, the grammar and stuff, it all works differently here, you know?"

Jaebum nods but he doesn't know because he doesn't speak fluent English, but he’s learned its just easier to agree when it comes to situations like this by now. Also, this is the first he's heard Mark talk this much in months, and he doesn't really want to stop him whilst he seems to be on a roll.

Since Jinyoung had gone off to meet Youngjae and Jackson had abandoned Jaebum to go wherever the hell Jackson goes during the day (i.e. work, fencing, swimming, flirting with other men and begging to see their muscles…), Mark had decided to drag Jaebum away from the studio for a bit of a catch up. Jaebum had been grateful (if somewhat reluctant to leave) and had packed up his things even though he still had twenty minutes to go. Besides, Jaebum did actually want to talk to the eldest about something important.

"When I used to live in L.A,” Mark continues softly, “I didn't really think about music and stuff. I just wanted to do martial arts tricking, really show off my flying skills to the others. But then I met Jackson-ah and Jinyoungie, and they just got me more into the _musical_ side of things, as well--"

"If you don't want to--," Jaebum starts but Mark looks at him with that _Mark_ smile, canines sharp and pressing into his bottom lip.

"I'm not saying that I don't want to rap for your song," he says bashfully. "I just don't think I'll do a very good job. It's a lot of words for a foreigner who hasn't even rapped before. Have you thought about asking anyone else? Splitting up the verses?"

"Not really," Jaebum answers. He already has Jinyoung, Youngjae and himself singing on the track, and he had never thought of having more than five people working on one song after getting Mark, too. He steps up to the counter and scans the baked goods as he thinks. He orders a large Americano and something with red-bean paste in the centre. Mark orders the same.

"Well, I've heard BamBam once at an open mic night and he was surprisingly pretty good," Mark continues, thoughtfully, "And I definitely think Jackson-ah would like to be a part of it, too. He did this Christmas rap at my house one time and well yeah-- you kind of had had to be there, but it was really, really good." He laughs.

The server returns with their food and drinks, and after paying for and collecting their items, they begin weaving their way towards a table by the window. Jaebum gives Mark a blank look at Jackson's name. Mark only grins.

"I'm being serious," The oldest shrugs, takes a bite of his pastry, "I'm not just bringing up Jackson-ah for the sake of it, I'm not Jinyoungie-- Although, to be honest, I did think you were going to talk to me about Jackson, and how you were finally ready to confess your feelings to him and were perhaps looking for some pointers, when you said you had something to ask me-- but I guess you’re still riding the oblivious ship with that one, huh?"

Jaebum ignores this, slides into the high-backed chair near the window and bites viciously into his own pastry as Mark settles down opposite him.

"But personal matter aside,” Mark gives him a disapproving look that fades as soon as it appears, “I do think Jackson-ah would really sound good on the song. You should at least give him a call."

Mark pulls out his phone again as he lapses into silence once more. Jaebum looks out of the large window on his left as he continues to chew on his pastry. Personal matters aside (as Mark already said)-- it really couldn't hurt to just _see_ what Jackson could do. Mark rarely gives bad advice.

"Yeah, all right,” Jaebum finally concedes against the lid of his drink. “But don't say a word to Jinyoungie about this."

Mark wrinkles his nose, gives his cutesy-Mark smile again. "Sure thing, JB," he grins.

 --

"So,” Jinyoung sits down on the couch beside Jaebum, plucks the unopened bottle of strawberry milk out of his hand and snaps the lid open to sip on it. “Mark-hyung tells me you’re going to get Jackson-ah to rap on your track."

Jaebum gives Jinyoung an exasperated look because of course Mark couldn't keep his mouth shut (and isn't that just a sentence he never thought he'd think).

"Jackson-ah's rapped before," Jaebum shrugs, casual-like. "Mark-hyung also mentioned BamBam too, did he tell you that?"

"BamBam is unimportant," Jinyoung waves a hand dismissively. BamBam makes an offended noise from where he's scrunched up in an armchair beside the two watching some kind of Anime on the television. Jinyoung tilts his head, passes Jaebum his drink back and Jaebum drinks some just to prove that it didn't upset him when Jinyoung took it (even though it did).

"Do you know what parts you're giving to Jackson-ah yet?"

Jaebum sighs, leans forwards to set his drink down on the coffee table and runs a hand through his hair. One of these days, he’s going to be able to talk to Jinyoung without having Jackson’s name pop up. He's going to make it his lifes mission!

"No," he answers simply. "I've just gotten back from talking with Mark-hyung literally _five minutes ago_. How was I supposed to break up all the verses and decide who's getting what if--," he holds up a finger to silence his friend. "-- _If_ I'm not even sure if giving him a part anyway?"

"Well of course you are," Jinyoung snorts, sits back and crosses his legs. "You may not have heard Jackson-ah rap, but I definitely have. There's no way you're saying no to him."

Jaebum narrows his eyes, snaps, "What's that supposed to mean?" but BamBam cuts in with an obnoxiously loud, "ayyyyy!" and points at Jinyoung repeatedly.

"You're talking about his voice, right, hyung?" He grins at Jinyoung and the other just smirks and leans over to high-five BamBam. "That...That, what's the word?"

" _Huskiness_ ," Jinyoung purrs back and BamBam laughs and looks at Jaebum, pervy-face and all, "you're going to love it, hyung."

Jaebum ignores the two fools beside him and focuses on the Anime on the television even though he doesn't understand what the hell is going on by now. He can hear whispering, giggling and murmuring, and all he wants to do is find out why the cartoon octopus is in a suit in peace.

"Where is Jackson-hyung, anyway?" BamBam asks Jaebum but the older continues to ignore him because what is he? Jackson’s keeper?

"He’s still at work," Jinyoung answers instead. "Since the holidays are coming to an end he's put in some over-time. I still don't know what he does there exactly, but he says the pay is pretty good so whatever keeps him out of trouble."

“He probably just offers more stress than help,” BamBam snorts. “Only Jooheon-hyung would have the patience to give Jackson-hyung a job working with the public at an antique bookstore.”

“I think it’s cute,” Jinyoung shrugs. “Jackson-ah is his only employee. Jooheon-ssi probably gets lonely when he’s not around. At least with Jackson-ah there it’s like having five people around at once. And besides,” he nudges Jaebum with his elbow, directs the next few words at him, “who knows what the two of them get up to when they’re all alone in a dusty, old bookstore with no-one but each other for company, right, hyung?”

Jaebum gives him an unimpressed look.

"Is there something you're trying to say?" He asks Jinyoung, and Jinyoung looks back at BamBam with a shrug of his shoulders, mouth pursed to hide his smile.

"I thought I pretty much just said it?" He snorts and BamBam smirks in return. Jaebum rolls his eyes. He purposely ignores the other two as Jinyoung and BamBam shake with silent laughter beside him, and focuses on watching more of the movie even though he's _really_ not taking it in anymore.

“So wait,” BamBam suddenly speaks once the snickering has calmed down. “If the dentist was the octopus, then who was the nurse?”

"Fuck this," Jaebum finally mutters. He heaves himself up and straightens out his clothes, tucks his phone deeper into his pocket and snatches up his bottle of strawberry milk before making his way to the front door, shoving his shoes on when he reaches it.

"I'm going out," he says not bothering to look back.

"Okay,” Jinyoung calls back jovially. “Tell Jackson-ah we said hi,"

\--

The old antique bookstore that Jaebum just so happens to end up outside twenty minutes later; is not the one that Jackson works in part-time (yes it is). It's a tiny corner place resplendent with random figurines and archaic literature; and a very loud yelling sound coming from inside as Jaebum steps through the door.

"Can you even _read_ Korean?" Jooheon asks around a laugh and Jackson stares at him in mock-outrage from where he's sat up on the counter, a huge book resting in his lap.

"Of course I can!" He snaps. "I'll have you know that Joon-ah taught me how to read it before I even knew what I was reading!"

Jooheon cracks up at that, dimples on full display and Jackson's own smile is fond as he leans forwards to poke at one and then flick the other on the forehead.

"Listen," he hushes, leans back to hike the book up closer and squints at the text. "The once... When... Was never... Hey! Stop laughing, this is hard, okay?” He laughs himself. “This isn't even proper Korean! This is some... Some weird old text or something--," he looks up, " _You_ probably couldn’t even-- oh, hyung, hi!"

Jaebum nods at Jooheon then turns back to Jackson as he slides his hands into his pockets, rocks back on his heels.

"I'll just go and put this back," Jooheon prises the book from Jackson's grip with an eyebrow wiggle and he disappears into the maze of shelves out front. Jackson sends a kick after him.

"What's up?" Jackson asks, turning back to Jaebum with a smile. "Can I interest you in any of my very fancy merchandise?" He jumps down off the counter and ducks down behind it. "I think there was a book Honey found earlier about a _Worldwide Sausage Competition_ or something..."

"No," Jaebum snorts, moving closer and leaning against the counter. "No, I'm good, thank you. I was just passing through."

Jackson raises his head, eyes smiling, "and you decided to come in and see me?" He grins, voice going higher. "Ah, hyung. I'm flattered. Shimkoong!"

The corner of Jaebum's mouth curls up.

“I was also wondering if you wanted to go out with me,” Jaebum asks and he feels dread settle into him because did he really just ask Jackson out on a fucking date? “Not like that! And… And not right at this minute, obviously,” he amends. He indicates unnecessarily to the cash-register, the assortment of novelty pens, the rather retro-looking lava lamp in the corner. “I see you have uh…Work right now, I just meant erm… Tomorrow? And as friends, of course. I’ve uh… I’ve been craving milkshakes and Youngjae-ah’s already turned me down being lactose intolerant and all. So yeah…”

Jackson bends over the counter, rests his chin in his hands as he looks up at Jaebum sceptically, “You invited Youngjae-ah to go out and drink milkshakes with you even though he’s lactose intolerant?” he asks blankly.

“I invited Youngjae-ah to go out and _watch me_ drink milkshakes,” Jaebum corrects. “He still said no.”

Jackson laughs, “I wonder why.”

“So, you don’t have to come,” Jaebum shrugs, he picks up one of the novelty pens and clicks the bottom, gives Jackson a ‘really? You sell this?’ look as it lights up and whistles. “But I could probably do with the company.”

Jackson snatches the pen back with a pout, slips it back into the cup and shrugs.

“No, it’s all right,” He leans forwards against the counter, lips puckered. “I’ll go. You are paying, right?”

“Of course,” Jaebum says, closing the distance and kissing Jackson’s cheek instead. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at six, yeah?”

“Sure!" Jackson calls as Jaebum nods and walks away, "And I want the most expensive thing on the menu, hyung!”

Jaebum murmurs, “of course you do,” but doesn’t turn back. He nods briefly to Jooheon as he goes by, ignoring the knowing smirk on the other boy’s face. What does he know, anyway? Honey is a silly nickname.

\--

“Does this shirt look good on me, hyung?” BamBam’s voice filters into Jaebum’s subconscious, waking him up in a pretty unpleasant way the next morning when he’d been having such a _good_ dream about thick, tan thighs and sweat-dampened, soft skin. He turns over onto his front to hide certain… ahem… very-awake-body-parts and raises his head to look over his shoulder. BamBam waves as they make eye-contact.

“Is that mine?” Jaebum asks voice hoarse, and BamBam just turns to the side in front of the body-length mirror, slides one hand over the huge t-shirt he’s wearing, stretches out a leg with a hum of approval.

 “It fits me so well.”

Jaebum groans, drops his head back to the pillow, “I’m trying to sleep, Bam. What are you even doing here?”

“I’m here because some of us work during the holidays, hyung, and don’t just lie in bed all day,” BamBam sticks his tongue out. He yelps and ducks but the pillow Jaebum throws still smacks him right in the face. He rubs his cheek with a frown.

“You’re so mean, hyung!” He says as he turns back to the mirror to inspect the damage and fix his hair. “I have to go and help clients pick out outfits for their prom, I can’t go looking all red and splotchy. I swear, I really don’t know how Jackson-hyung manages to stay around you, you have such a temper.”

“Get out,” Jaebum rumbles.

“I’m going, I’m going,” BamBam finally shuffles to the door. Jaebum sighs when he leaves, pulls the duvet over his head as he hears the door close with a click and he hums in contentment once again. He feels himself beginning to drift off once more; his eyes growing heavy, his breaths growing deep; sleep pulling him along gently until he hears the door creak open once again.

“By the way,” BamBam’s voice penetrates his rest for the second time that morning, “Should I let Jackson-hyung know that you dream about licking away the sweat on his gorgeous, muscular thighs, or do you think he already knows?”

“Get out!” Jaebum demands throwing another pillow and the door slams shut from the force of it.

“Just checking, hyung!” BamBam’s hysterical giggle echoes down the hall. Jaebum rubs his hands over his face and doesn’t go back to sleep for the rest of the morning. This is the reason why he never wants kids. 

\-- 

"Oh my God, hyung. This is so good," Jackson practically groans, licking melted chocolate from the curve of his spoon that afternoon. "I haven't had chocolate in so long. I'm going to have to hit the gym as soon as I finish this."

"You're fine as you are," Jaebum murmurs, keeping his eyes on his own strawberry milkshake. He’s already feeling sleep-deprived and tetchy as it is, and with Jackson making those moaning and groaning noises opposite him like that, he’s definitely on his way to losing it. He chances a glance up just as Jackson is licking away cream from his bottom lip, and even though Jaebum doesn’t really like cream, he’s willing to bet that even cream tastes good on Jackson’s tongue.

"Oh my _God_ ," Jackson groans again, sinks deeper into his seat. “Hyung, seriously…”

Jaebum snaps, head flicking up. He doesn’t _want_ to pin Jackson to the table that they're sitting at, but it’s definitely going that way, and Jaebum’s sure the several other customers in the restaurant are going to be pretty upset if they have to witness something that no-one should ever have to at an all-dessert restaurant.

"Do you really have to do that?" He hisses before he licks his lips. "People are going to start looking over here."

"Oh come on, hyung," Jackson scoffs. "No-one is taking any notice of me. You get embarrassed too easily."

"And you have no shame," Jaebum snaps back.

Jackson's mouth falls open, hand going to his chest. Jaebum just wants to lick his way between Jackson's lips and map out every inch, see if his milkshake really tastes as good as Jackson says it does until a pout replaces it instead.

Jaebum rubs the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut to ward off the oncoming headache. "Sorry.” He sighs. “I'm being a dick. I'm just... A little stressed out, is all."

Jackson's brows draw together, head tilting to the side like a puppy.

“Is it anything I can help with?” He asks. Jaebum swallows, looks back at his dongsaeng for a long time before he shakes his head a little.

"It's um… It’s just this song I'm working on," Jaebum mutters. "Something doesn't sound right in it. It needs an intro or something but I don't know, yet. I cut the last thirty seconds off and now it's too short." He dips his spoon back into his own milkshake and pulls it out to suck on. "I've asked Mark if he can rap part of it but he seems reluctant about it. I'm not sure what to do next."

"Mark isn't a rapper," Jackson shrugs, watching Jaebum's mouth brazenly. "He sounds really good on tape, but he’s shy; he lacks confidence."

"He said that maybe you could help, too," Jaebum tries instead but Jackson shakes his head.

"No," he laughs. "Now I'm _really_ not a rapper."

"But you've rapped before," Jaebum argues.

"Yes, but that doesn’t make me a _rapper_ ," Jackson says again, slower.

Jaebum rolls his eyes, "right."

"Look, hyung," Jackson says. He puts his spoon back into his chocolate ice-cream milkshake and places his hands flat on the table. "You know I'd do anything I can to help you, but I'm really not all that good at this. I mean, I'll try of course, but I just don't want you to be disappointed in me or anything."

"I could never be disappointed in you, Jackson-ah," Jaebum smiles, and he looks away quickly because he can feel what Jinyoung calls ‘the heart eyes’ coming on. "As long as you try your best, that's all I ask."

"Yeah, well, you say that now," Jackson mumbles as he goes back to eating. "But in return," his voice drops into a purr, the corner of his bottom lip catching between his teeth, "you're going to have to help me work this milkshake off in another way so I don't have to go to the gym."

Jaebum decides that it's only fair (and also that Jackson was right, the chocolate milkshake was actually really, very good).

\--

The next few days are tedious. Jaebum throws himself into working on his song and wondering why he waited until he’d had less than four months to complete everything instead of the year he was given. It's not entirely his fault, though, he rationalises (to himself because no-one else will listen). It's just that for some reason this year; things have been incredibly... Distracting.

He tries to think about it logically; allows his thoughts to wonder over the hills and valleys of his mind as he pictures how his life is different this one year than it has been from any other year before, and he still comes up blank (no he doesn't).

He thinks about his workload-- and he's grateful that his part-time summer job at the convenience store was only in fact _a summer job_ , because he has far too much to do at the moment-- but he's worked there for the last countless summers and there's nothing new there.

He thinks about his friends--

And okay, so obviously everyone probably thinks that his (several) lapse(s) in concentration is (are) due to a certain Chinese boy, but really, there's nothing unusual between them, either.

Jaebum and Jackson have been-- now, what's the best way to word this without sounding creepy and sentimental-- _together_ , maybe?

No.

_Intimate?_

Ha. Definitely not.

_Messing around?_

Well, that's not so bad—

So, basically Jaebum and Jackson have been _messing around_ together since the summer before college (and the several years afterwards considering Jackson had turned up at Jaebum’s house during the last few days of that summer, vaulted right into Jaebum's arms, and shouted excitedly that he was going to the same college to practice Fencing and they were going to be homeboys for life now, right? Right?!) and they've never had any real problems before this, so it can't really be him.

He thinks about his family; his Eomma, his Appa and well…

Jaebum loves his family, he really does. He loves everything about them from his Eomma’s passionate, determined nature to his Appa’s resilience and pride. He loves how they care about him and always want the best for him, and he loves that they would do anything to ensure he lives a successful and prosperous life.

But success and prosperity don’t equate to happiness, and it’s taken Jaebum far longer to realise this than it should’ve.

If he thinks back hard enough, he can categorically remember the look of disappointment in his parents eyes when they saw his passable (but not spectacular) final grades; when they told him that they knew about how he had been skipping school to go out and b-boy instead of study. It was obvious that they had found out themselves somehow and knew from the very beginning (because Jackson was right about that and when wasn’t he?) but it still made Jaebum’s heart squeeze when his Eomma wept about her rebellious son and his dreary-looking future. 

To make things even worse, not only did he disobey them throughout high-school, but he also ignored their wishes afterwards, too. He hadn’t even spared a glance at the countless medical textbooks they had bought him when his grades were found to be good enough to get him into an acceptable college, and he had immediately applied to do Music and Song Production instead. He signed up for Creative Poetry-Writing and Track Editing, Musical Theory and all that useless, nonsensical, future-destroying crap that was almost impossible to get into unless you already knew someone in the business beforehand (and Jaebum most certainly did not).

And so when it all came down to funding and payment, his Eomma had almost washed away in her own tears when he’d asked for help. His Appa had point blank told him no. It wasn’t Jaebum’s choice to decide his own future anymore if he couldn’t be trusted to choose something sensible. He couldn’t live successfully by just studying music. He couldn’t become wealthy and affluent by writing _poetry_ , he couldn’t do _any_ of those things. Well, unless…

“You can even study your music this way,” his Eomma had told him tearfully as she cradled one of his hands in both of her soft ones. “We’ll pay for all of your courses, your accommodation, your equipment. You can go about your life practicing your dancing and whatever it is, as long as you do this one thing for us in return.”

Jaebum had wondered if being around Jackson so much had made him snarky because he wanted to snap at his Eomma for being so damn cryptic, but then her eyes had shifted to his hand, and he knew she had noticed that his ring had gone missing, and he knew she knew where (or more like whom) it had gone to.

“A wife and a child would bring us so much happiness, Jaebum-ah,” she squeezed his palm. “It’d be easy to tell others about your… _Career in music_ as long as you’re able to back it all up with a normal and caring family. During college you can do what you like and be free; you can explore until your heart is content and live your life to the fullest… But after you graduate you should come back to us; you should let us find you a woman to look after you, a woman who we can be proud to call your wife, a woman who can give you a child.”

Jaebum felt his stomach dip like he’d gone downhill in a car. He knew his parents knew about his relationship with Jackson and he knew that they could tell that it was only in its beginning stages, but he had always thought they adored him. When they would talk about Jackson before, they would always sound so joyful; so happy that Jaebum had found another friend to hang around with rather than just Jinyoung all the time. But obviously they had noticed that his friendship with Jackson was nothing like his friendship with Jinyoung, and maybe it was in that where the problem lay.

Maybe they noticed more than Jaebum thought they did that he was never home anymore. Maybe they noticed when he _did_ return he looked more than a little… Ruffled. Maybe they noticed that when Jackson came to visit him in return Jaebum’s eyes would sparkle. Maybe they noticed that Jaebum was falling in love.

Music had been his rock. It had been the thing he would go to when all else failed him in the world, but then when Jackson came along, he was like music but _tangible_. Jaebum could touch him, _feel_ him, _lose_ himself in him and Jackson would just _give_ like his affection was air.

But then Jaebum looked back at his Eomma’s face and he saw that she had become old before her years. That the stress of having a son who cared little to nothing for his family and his future alike was taking a toll on her, and she seemed to age right before his eyes.

“The college years are all yours,” she whispered softly as she saw the look of resignation pass over Jaebum’s face. “But your future is _ours_.”

At nineteen years old Jaebum could do nothing but nod his head. As much as he pretended that he didn’t care about his future or his family, he did. Blood was thicker than water and all that, and he knew his parents were only doing this for his own good. It’s not like they would lead him away from potential happiness just so he could be successful, was it?

Part of him wished that she had told him all of this before he had started whatever it was that he had with Jackson, though. But maybe she thought that if she let him live his life as he wanted for the next few years, he’d be more willing to come back to her at the end of it all. Maybe she thought that if she let Jaebum have his freedom with Jackson, they’d soon grow sick of each other, and run themselves into the ground without her interference. Jaebum didn’t know. He did know one thing, however, (and he wasn’t sure how he was going to deal with this one); but it was pretty obvious that no matter what happened over the next few years he spent in college, he couldn’t let himself fall any deeper in love with Jackson than he already was. It wasn’t just about money or status or love anymore. This was about _family_. This was about _blood_.

He had never really been a good son and now it was about time he did something right for his parents and come on now, how hard could it actually be? Maybe several years with Jackson by his side _would_  actually make him sick of him. Maybe he'd find out that Jackson really wasn’t all that loveable anyway.

\--

"Are you contemplating the meaning of music, hyung?" Jackson whispers right into Jaebum's ear and the older boy almost loses his life in a gasp.

"What the fuck, Jackson-ah?" He growls, turns around, regrets it, turns back. "I'm trying to work. I'm-- What... What exactly are you doing here?"

"Studying?" Jackson quirks an eyebrow and holds up a book of 'Fencing; The Best Way to Grip your Sabre' as he sits down. "Seriously, hyung," he uses his tongue to push the sweet he's sucking on and bulging in one cheek to the other, "You really need to de-stress."

"I really need to lock the studio door next time," Jaebum quips back.

Jackson winks at him.

"So, are you going to show me my lines or do I have to do something to get them out of you?" Jackson asks casually, gaze flicking up from behind his book and Jaebum blinks for a moment before he rolls his eyes and throws the notepad into Jackson's lap, leans back casually in his own chair.

"The lines that are high-lighted are Mark's; you can take the first verse or the one in the middle for yourself," He says.

Jackson hums, points to the smaller sentences in brackets, "who’s singing this part?" He asks.

"That's just there for bulk," Jaebum murmurs. "I'm deciding whether I should keep it or not."

"You should get Gyeommie to do it," Jackson flicks through the pad, meets Jaebum’s eyes. "He's a good kid, you should hear him sing."

Jaebum hums non-committally.

Jackson goes back to reading, eyes tracing over the words. He pushes the sweet up between his top and bottom front teeth when he reaches a certain part, mouth turning up into a smirk.

"And you're _sure_ this wasn't written about me, hyung?"

Jaebum looks him dead in the eye.

"Jackson-ah, I really don't have time for this," he folds his hands over his stomach. "If you've finished with your nonsense then just get into the booth so I can hear what you sound like with the music."

"Ah, so chic," Jackson scrunches his nose. He flips the pad closed and slides out of his seat, climbs into Jaebum's lap instead and pushes his fingers into Jaebum's hair, pulling lightly. "I love it when you play hard to get."

"Jackson-ah," Jaebum sighs, but he's losing the will to fight, and it only gets worse when Jackson uses his hot mouth to tease the piercings in Jaebum's ear, when he nibbles and laps, when his hands massage over Jaebum's scalp. Jaebum gasps, "What's gotten into you today?"

"Well, not you, for one," Jackson pulls back, smooths his fingers over Jaebum’s jaw. "Come on, hyung, it’s been so long! Your body wants me, so be honest."

"That's _heart_ ," Jaebum corrects unthinkingly, and he swallows heavily when he meets dark eyes. " _Your heart wants me… So be honest_."

Jackson doesn't say anything more and just strokes his fingers over the nape of Jaebum's neck. Jaebum looks away.

"Fine," he mutters. "But get on with it; we only have this studio for the next hour."

"That's more than enough time," Jackson beams, ducking his head and pressing his mouth to Jaebum's. He nips at his bottom lip and when Jaebum opens up; Jackson presses the sweet into Jaebum's mouth instantly before curling his own tongue around it and moaning softly.

The oldest groans, hands tightening around thick ( _oh so thick_ ) thighs, his breath hitching in his chest.

_Twenty minutes_ , he thinks to himself, _just twenty minutes of this and then Jackson’s getting into that recording room._ And if Jaebum happens to follow him in there after hearing Jackson rap (because damn, the word husky just does not do it justice) well, it wouldn’t be the first time they’ve made sweet music together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <333!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I didn't know it was going to be a feels trip... But I still tried to keep it lighthearted? ^.^!

** FIVE **

“Jaebum-ah?”

Jaebum doesn’t know when he began to dread talking to his Eomma, but it’s been a lingering feeling he’s had for a while now and things just seem to be getting more uncomfortable the closer he gets to graduating. He swallows heavily; his throat so dry it clicks.

“Hi.”

“Ah, son,” she answers back her voice warm and relieved through the static of the call. “How are things with you?” She asks.

Jaebum doesn’t know how to answer that question because he’s pretty sure she doesn’t want to hear about his music course or his assignment. And he's _definitely_ sure she doesn’t want to know that he still hasn’t ended this ongoing  _thing_  he has with Jackson, and so he's not sure what else there is to talk about.

“I um…I ate today?” he says instead and she laughs quietly.

“That’s good, Jaebum-ah,” she croons. “That’s good.”

\--

Choi Youngjae is sunshine incarnate. When Jaebum is having a particularly crap day, he can always count on the younger boy to make him feel better and whisk away the bad. He's like the little brother that Jaebum never had; a sibling that instead of bossing around and getting into trouble, he just wants to protect instead and cuddle until he bursts.

And so that's why it's hard to understand why today it just isn't working. Why it has to be today, when Jaebum is stressed over his song, and his essay, and his  _life_  that Youngjae's warm and wholesome nature can't stir up the same happiness it usually does.

"I'll have this," Youngjae points at a picture in the menu, grin bright as the waitress scribbles it down and moves on. She's been making eyes at Jaebum since she first arrived at their table, and even though Youngjae seems to find it hilarious, Jaebum just can't bring himself to appreciate the flirtation right now.

"What would you like?" She asks shyly, eyes lowered as she leans towards Jaebum and she smells pretty, like something flowery and girly and not at all like the boy opposite him who smells like  _a man,_  like green tea and even sometimes (and these are Jaebum’s favourite times) like Jaebum himself. The boy who is squinting at his own menu and not taking the slightest bit of notice of what is happening in front of his own two stupid eyes. The boy who is more focused on the food he’ll soon be getting rather than the fact that his friend has a not-so-secret admirer. Typical.

"Does this come with a sauce?" Jackson asks abruptly, lifting the menu up and pointing at something else this time and the waitress sighs in exasperation. Jaebum can't blame her. This hasn't been the first question he’s asked.

"Yes," she says moving over to Jackson instead. "It says so over here. There are a selection of sauces here that you can choose from, and each serving of bulgogi comes with three sauces, lettuce leaves, a serving of kimchi and a cucumber and onion salad."

"And it's not too spicy, right?" Jackson is already starting to sweat, but Youngjae interrupts him as he holds out his hands, "No, no no!" He looks distraught. "No cucumber, please, not at the table. I don't like it."

"Of course," the waitress scores a dark line through what she's written. She looks back to Jaebum again; plastic smile turning real, head tilting down coyly, "and you?"

"I'll just have the same as him," Jaebum jerks his chin in Jackson's direction; the Chinese boy now murmuring under his breath and squinting as he traces over other dishes in the menu with his finger. "And instead of the salad, can we just get two servings of the kimchi?"

The girl swoons, Jaebum's leader and organisational skills seeming to seal the deal that he’s as smart as he is cute. Jaebum offers an awkward smile.

"Of course," the waitress bows politely once everything is settled. "I'll be right out with your food."

Jaebum presses his palms into his eyes as she walks away, sighs deep in his chest. "Why can nothing be easy with you?" he asks desperately, and Jackson looks up, eyes wide. "Every time we go out..."

"Hey! Youngjae-ah doesn't mind," Jackson sniffs. Youngjae laughs, makes a comment on Jackson's mispronunciation of something he read from the menu earlier, and the two boys start a scuffle from their seats.

"This meal was supposed to be you thanking us for saving your ass from a bunch of your fans," Jackson rubs his chest from where Youngjae hit him. "Next time I'm just going to let them get you."

"This was a thank you for  _Jaebum-hyung_ , actually," Youngjae sticks his tongue out. "I just invited you along because you two are never apart."

" _Jealous_ ," Jackson sing-songs, reaching out and taking Jaebum's hand. He presses a kiss to the elders palm and then squeals with laughter when Youngjae wrinkles his nose in both disgust and amusement.

The waitress comes back a few minutes after with a trolley full of their order, and whilst ignoring Jaebum and Jackson's still intertwined hands pretty spectacularly, she places all the plates on the table, sliding them towards their owners. "If you need any help just let me know," she bows once more and disappears into the kitchens again. Jaebum tries not to feel her stare on his hand still encased in Jackson's own.

Jackson takes up a piece of kimchi first, licks it delicately to taste the heat of it, then stuffs the whole thing into his mouth. He sends a wink at Jaebum then focuses his attention back on Youngjae again as Jaebum busies himself pouring water for everyone.

"But as I was saying earlier," Jackson says ardently, " Of course you can do it, Youngjae-ah!  You and Jaebum-hyung are going to be huge stars when you graduate, I'm telling you! You're going to be able to collaborate on works with foreign celebrities, go on world-tours, _the whole works_. You just have to believe in it yourself."

Jaebum decides to take the grilling of the meat into his own hands at this point since no-one else seems to be willing to do it. He pulls his hand away from Jackson’s and instead focuses on laying the strips of beef out onto the grill, his eyes refusing to leave Jackson's mouth as the boy’s tongue darts out to wet his lips.

"I don't know about that," Youngjae sounds pleased as he rubs the back of his neck shyly. "Maybe."

"There's no maybe about it!" Jackson's impassioned voice fills the air along with the sizzling of meat. "It’s fate! You're going to make it, I know you will. You'll be the main vocals, Jaebum-hyung will be the song-writer slash producer and back-up vocals," he winks, "and I'll be the worldwide-loved fencing athlete that gets all the guys."

Youngjae laughs again, making that 'kekeke' noise he sometimes does. "Now I know you're dreaming," he chuckles.

"Anyway," Jaebum catches everyone's attention, turning the meat on the grill as he speaks. "I actually wanted to thank  _you guys_ , too, for helping me with my assignment. I know that you've both been busy, and I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate all the work you've done on my song. And also, Jackson," he looks to the Chinese boy, "I wanted to thank you for introducing Yugyeom to me, too. He was perfect with his part."

"Of course, hyung," Jackson nods. "Gyeommie's a good kid. He deserves his break, too. You should send us all a copy of it before it’s done by the way, so we can all look back on it someday," he smiles slyly, "remember the time that you wrote a song for me but wouldn't admit to it."

Jaebum rolls his eyes.

"So if this meal is you thanking us, instead of me thanking you," Youngjae says contemplatively, "does that mean that  _you're_  paying for tonight?"

Jaebum gives him a blank look.

"You're a brat," he mutters as he turns the meat again. He looks up to share an exasperated look with Jackson but the other just grins at him broadly.

"Thank you for the meat, daddy!" Jackson beams back; his hands in fists as he wiggles them by his face, eyes squeezed closed and pretty mouth in a pout. Jaebum stares, slack-mouthed and ears pink before he goes back to cooking. Of course he ends up paying in the end, but when he gets home that night, he seriously begins to question some of his life’s choices.

(Maybe he should just call the number the waitress left secretly scribbled on the receipt when he went to pay the bill. Sometimes he thinks just being in a real relationship  _would_  be a lot easier… And a lot cheaper).

\-- 

Jaebum spends the next day and a half sat in front of his laptop in his front room envisaging his death-- or in other words, working out how to go about writing his essay.

There’s a half a cup of cold coffee beside him, two empty pots of ramen noodles and his phone which he put face down so he can’t get distracted by it. He scrubs his hands through his hair as he stares at the still blank page; the flashing cursor mocking him cruelly.

“When writing this song, I was inspired by nothing,” he says aloud as he types, “I just wrote it because it was part of the curriculum and because I was made to do it. Why does everyone else think that it has to have a deeper meaning than it really does? Fuck!”

“And how many words was that?” Jinyoung asks from where he’s curled up in the armchair reading.

Jaebum makes a noise very similar to a sniffle and slams the lid of his laptop shut. He thumps his head down on top of it and squeezes his eyes closed, hands in fists.

“Not enough,” He says, voice gruff.

“Well, you could just lie,” Jinyoung stretches out like a cat. “Just write about the weather or something. Say it was about a summer love, a girl, sex. Teachers love that raw, gritty stuff; the unrequited love, the infidelity; the grimmer the better, I always say.”

Jaebum lifts his head to give Jinyoung a blank look, frustration making him twitchy and agitated. “It’s a love song, Jinyoungie, it’s not supposed to be  _gritty_ ,” he says.

“Then say that it’s about an  _actual_  love,” Jinyoung shrugs. ”Someone that you want to be with but can’t. That you want to spend the rest of your life with, but that your family won’t let you; because even though that person is pretty much entirely yours  _anyway,_  and _even though_ you can make your own decisions by now because you’re a  _grown man_ \-- You still have this crazy notion that you’re indebted to your parents because of mistakes you made in the past, and now you think you owe them with your life.

“And although your Eomma pretty much blackmailed you when you were still a  _child_ ; she's still willing to go through with it all now because she clearly doesn’t care about your happiness, and just wants you to be a man of money and high-status so they can brag to the neighbours. Or well, something like that, anyway.”

Jaebum narrows his eyes.

Jinyoung closes his book on one hand, brows pinching together in an expression mixed between mock-concern and faux-innocence, “was it something I said, hyung?”

“One of these days…” Jaebum mutters as he stands up, but he leaves the threat open-ended. He flips his phone over to see the time then disappears into his room to change his shirt and spray on some deodorant. He grabs his keys and his wallet, his phone charger and shoulder bag with a spare change of clothes, and goes to the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

“Oh, are you going out again?” Jinyoung calls as Jaebum stalks past. Jaebum doesn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer when it’s clear what Jaebum is doing already. The two of them have lived together long enough to know each other’s quirks, to know what the other is like when they’re under stress and pressure; to know what they seek when they need to relax.

Jaebum makes his way to the door and slides his shoes on, unlocks his phone as he searches through his contacts. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” he waves a flippant hand in Jinyoung’s direction and the younger laughs, leans out of his chair so his voice reaches Jaebum just as he’s stepping out of the door.

“Say hi to Jackson-ah for me, hyung!” Jinyoung sings.

(And Jaebum hates hates  _hates_  when he does that).

\--

"Hyung, wait..." Jackson writhes. He presses his hands against Jaebum's bare chest in an attempt to push him back from his neck a little so he can reach his buzzing phone. "Hyung... I can't reach the... Oh… _Oh_ … Ngh,  _yes_..."

Upon arrival to Jackson and Mark’s dorm, Jaebum had barely nodded in acknowledgement at the American who had opened the door for him before he had stormed his way through to Jackson’s room. The Chinese boy had been lying on his front, head on his arms, eyes closed as he listened to music, and as peaceful as he looked, that really wasn’t helping Jaebum at the moment.

Jaebum's not embarrassed to admit that he had pretty much pounced, pulled at the neck of Jackson’s shirt to get to his naked skin and then devoured one shoulder as he squirmed out of most of his clothes. Jackson had yelped at first but then settled into the pleasurable attack; rolling onto his back and allowing himself to be ravaged until his stupid,  _stupid_  phone had gone off and he had tried to pull away briefly to slow everything down. How rude.

"Just leave it," Jaebum growls, pushing up the hem of Jackson's shirt and kissing his way down the others stomach. "If it's important, they'll call back."

"But what if they can't," Jackson pants, hands sliding over Jaebum's naked shoulders. "What if that's their last call, and after they call me, they'll never be able to call anyone ever again and the police will-- Oh." the phone stops ringing.

Jaebum surges up to kiss Jackson's lips again, tongue pressing between them (to shut him up more than anything), hands sliding down to undo the belt on Jackson's jeans and slide it out of the loops. He presses his hips forwards into Jackson's from where he's settled snuggly between the other boy's thighs in an attempt to pin him down, and tries to strip him of his shirt. Jackson’s eyes trace over his face.

“Did you speak to your Eomma recently?” He rubs the pads of his fingers over Jaebum’s nape when the eldest pulls away and shakes his head, but Jackson's always been able to read him like a book.

Jackson still looks a little apprehensive but nods and gives in, sinks back into his pillows again as he tangles his fingers in Jaebum's hair and pulls lightly. Jackson’s known for a while now that Jaebum’s been having some issues with his family, but he never questions it, always preferring to let Jaebum rant when he’s ready. Jaebum’s heart twists at how much trust the other has in him. He pulls back and looks into Jackson’s eyes, smooths his thumb over the other’s cheekbone.

“Jackson-ah,” he begins but then Jackson's phone lets out a series of buzzes and then starts ringing... Again.

"Oh, for the love of..." Jaebum drops down onto the body beneath him. He turns his face into Jackson's throat to sulk and Jackson laughs, finally managing to reach his phone and bring it up to his ear to answer breathlessly, "hello?"

"Hello? Jackson-ah?" And Jaebum recognises the other voice on the phone immediately and has to stop the growl from forming in his chest. He presses his lips to Jackson's skin instead, preoccupies himself with sucking soft marks against the flesh. Jackson's fingers continue to comb through his hair.

"Joonie?" Jackson answers back, licks his lips. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," Namjoon answers softly. "It's just that... Erm... You're still friends with BamBam, right?”

"Oh, God," Jackson groans, closes his eyes. Jaebum mouths across Jackson's jaw, listening intently as Jackson continues, "What has he done now?"

"Nothing," Namjoon laughs lightly and Jaebum's going to snap because why can't this guy just get to the point? Why does everyone he know have to skirt around the important issues? (Not including himself, of course... Ahem...) "It's just that he's erm... Well, yeah. He's doing nothing. Like,  _at all_. He's passed out on mine and Jin-ah's couch-- he's breathing, don't worry, but he kind of went out with Jungkookie earlier and yeah, you know how they get."

"I'll kill him," Jackson rubs a hand over his face.

"Not if I get to him first," Jaebum answers back with a sigh.

"Hi, Jaebum-ssi," Namjoon's voice comes through the speaker. "But anyway, yeah. I'd really appreciate if you could come and pick him up? I'm the only one home right now and I kind of have to look after Kookie who’s equally as passed out in the kitchen. Everyone else except for Tae is busy, but I'd really rather have someone relatively... Sensible come and take him home."

"And you thought of me?" Jackson sounds flattered. "Aw, Joon-ah, you're so thoughtful.”

"By default," Namjoon laughs as Jackson preens. “And only after I thought I of Taehyung-ah, so think about that. Anyway, just come and pick up your boy before he wakes up and doesn't know where he is,” Namjoon snorts. “I’ll see you later, man. Thanks. Bye.”

Jaebum sighs, lifts himself off of Jackson’s pliant (God, why do these things happen to him?) body as the Chinese boy says his goodbyes. Jaebum slides off the bed and begins to look for his shirt and jeans, he briefly hopes that BamBam really  _is_  unconscious when they get to Namjoon and Jin's, because Jaebum is most definitely going to kill him and/or strangle him until he passes out properly, if not.

"You don't have to come, you know, hyung," Jackson says as he stands up, too. He makes his way over to his mirror and begins to smooth down his hair. He whistles when he sees the state of his neck. "Really, hyung?" He arches a brow, a grin curving his mouth. "Are you a vampire or something?"

Jaebum doesn't answer, pulls his jeans up over his butt and moves to stand behind Jackson as he watches him in the mirror. "Maybe," he murmurs, secures an arm around Jackson's waist and uses the other hand to cup his jaw, to tilt his head. "Would that turn you on?"

Jackson laughs, leans back against Jaebum's chest as the elder sinks his teeth into the curve where Jackson's neck meets his shoulder. It's nowhere near hard enough to break the skin, but it's definitely hard enough for Jackson to feel it, to mewl. Jaebum feels certain parts of his body that had calmed down at the phone call start to react again to Jackson's noises.

"Maybe," Jackson's eyes flutter shut in reply, Jaebum's own gaze never leaving his face. "Or maybe you’re just subconsciously marking me before we both go to see my ex?"

It’s said in a joking way and Jaebum  _knows_  Jackson is just making fun of him as usual, but it hits too close to home. He rolls his eyes instead and steps back, walks around to the nightstand to unplug his phone from his charger and slip it into his pocket. He finds his shirt on the bedside table (of all places) and when he yanks that on quickly and looks up at his dongsaeng, the other is smiling at him, eyes curved as he holds out a hand.

"You ready to go?" He wiggles where he stands and Jaebum nods, allows the youngest to take his own hand and lace their fingers together as he tugs him close.

"Let's go get our baby," Jackson smiles cutely and Jaebum brings Jackson’s hand to his lips, presses a damp kiss against the silver ring still adorning his finger. He indulges the youngster far too much, he knows, but he doesn’t think it’s something he’d be able to (or want to) stop.

\--

Namjoon and Jin live in an apartment of their own off campus now that Jin has become a working man. It's in the nice part of town; a private apartment complex hidden behind huge iron gates and perfect rose bushes, and Jaebum sneers when they get to the intercom.

"Jooooooooooonie!" Jackson sings when he presses the button for the apartment, and there's a half laugh on the other end before the gate buzzes and opens up. Jaebum holds Jackson's hand a little tighter and lets himself be led into enemy territory.

"How do you know his address?" He asks Jackson quietly as they walk through the maze of fancy four-story buildings. Jackson turns to look at Jaebum inquisitively before he shrugs his shoulders a little. "I was here a few months ago," he answers, "Jin-hyung was having a party for Jungkookie to celebrate him getting into some performance school. I’d invited you to go but you went to your parents for the week."

Jaebum tries not to think too much about his home visits. Just the thought of stepping through the door of the place he calls home is enough to make his stomach squirm. It had taken a bit of explaining when he'd told the others why he wasn't leaving for the Christmas and the New Year when he lived so close, but Jackson’s always been there to back him up and swerve the conversation into a different direction.

"You know," Jaebum scuffs his shoe along the neat pebbled pathway, "most people don't really invite their boyfriends ex's to their parties." He says instead but Jackson just laughs, swings their clasped hands playfully.

"Jin-hyung isn't most people, hyung. He thinks I'm lovable guy.” He winks. “And besides, he’s been with Joonie for ages. He  _knows_  that we have absolutely  _no_  interest in getting back together-- unlike  _some_  people we know."

Jaebum isn't quite sure, but he thinks that may be a dig at him. He doesn’t know why he speaks sometimes.

"Here it is!" Jackson sing-song interrupts Jaebum's sulk as he tugs the elder along happily. He bypasses the first few doors and starts up the staircase beside them, pausing only as they arrive at a red door at the end of the balcony on the third floor. Jaebum barely has anytime to compose himself before Jackson's hauling his hand away from Jaebum's and rapping on the door with both fists. "Joon-ah!" He calls.

The door opens barely a second later, and Kim Namjoon in all his cute, dimpled glory is standing there with a grin. Jaebum purses his mouth, the guy must’ve gotten a stylist or something.

“Hey,” Namjoon laughs, accepting Jackson’s hug easily as the Chinese boy throws himself at him. “It’s been a long time, you’ve cut your hair?”

“No I haven’t,” Jackson protests, “And I saw you at Jungkookie’s celebration party barely two months ago! You were doing body shots off of Jin-hyung in the kitchen if I recall that night correctly.”

“Haha, yeah,” Namjoon ducks his head shyly to avoid Jaebum’s judgemental gaze. “I don’t really remember that day too well… But come on in, guys.” He holds out a hand to Jaebum as he steps back so they can pass into the house. “Jaebum-ssi, it’s good to see you again.”

“Likewise,” Jaebum mutters, grasping the other’s palm briefly.

"BamBam woke up a little while ago to ask where he was, but then he passed out again after two minutes. He's still on the couch but you guys can wait until he wakes up properly to take him," Namjoon explains as everyone removes their shoes. Jackson doesn't say anything, immediately leading the way through towards the front room and fluttering when a sleeping BamBam is revealed, curled up like a ball on the couch.

"He doesn't seem unwell," Jackson says thoughtfully as he crouches down to run his fingers through BamBam's hair. "It's probably just a mixture of exhaustion and alcohol. The party-hard attitude is so rough on youngsters nowadays; I don't know why he drinks when he knows he’s always been such a lightweight."

"Have not," BamBam murmurs rolling over. He blinks blearily and yawns, hiccups then giggles. "Okay. Maybe a little."

"Ah! So cute," Jackson coos, leaning in to nuzzle his nose against BamBam's. Jaebum sighs and scrapes a hand through his hair.

"You can sit down, Jaebum-ssi," Namjoon says with a nod to the other couch. Jaebum accepts the invitation and slumps into it when he realises that they're probably not going anywhere soon with Jackson murmuring sweet nothings to the maknae.

"Would you like anything to drink?" Namjoon asks as he walks through to where Jaebum assumes the kitchen is. "We have juice and water. Some kind of smoothie thing Jin-ah made for breakfast this morning..."

"I'm fine," Jaebum mutters as BamBam croaks for water, "But er, thanks... Anyway."

"Jaebum-hyung doesn't think you're hot, Jackson-hyung," BamBam says suddenly, eyes still closed. "I said I thought you were hot like, like ten days ago or something and he just said that he didn’t think you were."

"I didn't say  _that_ ," Jaebum protests but Jackson merely snorts, rubs a hand over BamBam's arm.

"I believe you, Bam," he sticks his tongue out at Jaebum.

"But Joon-hyung still thinks you're hot," BamBam offers helpfully (and drunk or not, Jaebum is going to hurt him). "He said so when we played truth or dare at Kookie’s party, you remember, right?"

"It didn’t go exactly like that," Jackson laughs, nods to Namjoon as the other steps out of the kitchen with a curious expression and passes him a bottle of water. "It wasn't really about me being hot, although I am, thank you for noticing-- the question was-- and I’m cleaning this up a little because I don’t care what you say Bam, you’re still a child-- 'who would you rather spend the night with out of Jackson, Tae and Kookie?' And considering Joon-ah remembers ‘Tae’ and ‘Kookie’ from when they were practically babies, he had to pick me, right? And besides," he shrugs, uncaps the bottle and helps BamBam to sip at it. "It's not like he hasn't been there and done that already, you know. We  _did_  date."

"Oh my god," Namjoon covers his face with his hands, scandalised. He sends a quick glance over to Jaebum but the elder is steadfastly ignoring them all now, having located his phone from his pocket (which still has a picture of Jackson as his background-- he'll change it okay, stop looking at him!) and is now scrolling avidly through his twitter feed. Huh, Youngjae bought a new coffee machine, who knew?

"Jackson-ah," Namjoon groans in exasperation. "Why do you do these things?"

"Do what things?" Jackson looks surprised. "If you can't talk about getting some to your friends, who can you talk about it to?"

"No-one?" Jaebum offers with a sneer but he looks down at his phone again when he feels Namjoon's eyes on him, an apologetic look on his face.

"We're not together," Jaebum clarifies before he busies himself with his phone again and the room swamps into silence. His chest feels tight again all of a sudden, his stomach full of fighting butterflies. He can see Namjoon looking at Jackson out of the corner of his eye from this angle, and he wonders what the look they share means.

Jaebum sucks his bottom lip between his teeth, feels his jaw begin to clench. By the time he realises what he's doing, he's already scrolled back three weeks into his twitter feed without even noticing, and his hand aches from the vice-like grip he has on his phone. He locks it with a sigh, folds his hands in his lap When looks up at the others, Namjoon is gone again.

"You okay there, hyung?" Jackson asks.  

"I’m fine," Jaebum murmurs, closes his eyes.

Jackson exhales. "Hyung," he begins, but Namjoon returns just then with a passed-out Jungkook being held princess-style in his arms. He ducks his head in apology, “Sorry guys, I'm just taking Kookie to bed."

They stumble past and to the bedrooms, Jackson snickering when Namjoon trips over the doorframe, but when Jaebum finally looks back to his dongsaeng, Jackson is still watching him with a frown.

"What is it, Jackson-ah?" He asks softly but Jackson just shrugs. He shakes his head instead and pulls BamBam closer.

"Nothing, hyung," he rests his chin on the maknae's shoulder. "I’m just thinking."

\--

Namjoon returns a few minutes later and him and Jackson make idle chit-chat whilst Jaebum  _doesn't_  sulk in silence. They talk about food, about movies, about music and clothes, and even though it does sound pretty interesting, none of the questions seem to be directed at him, so Jaebum just keeps his mouth shut.

"What were you two doing before I called anyway?" Namjoon asks and that gets Jaebum's attention. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything or...?"

"Oh no," Jackson shakes his head. "It was nothing important. Jaebum-hyung was just stressed out about some stuff, I was helping him out."

"Uh huh..." Namjoon smirks, eyes flickering over Jackson's neck. "Well, I'm sorry all the same. I would've waited until Jin-ah got home from work with the car, but he's at the restaurant late tonight and I didn't think it would be right to send him out again as soon as he got back."

“That's all right," Jackson says, "don’t worry about it. I love looking after my baby Bam, he's so cute!” he nuzzles against a dozing BamBam who moans in protest.

"And taller than you now, too, I see," Namjoon cackles.

Jackson purses his mouth.

"I thought you were better than that, Joon-ah." He says loftily. "Everyone knows how insecure I am about my short legs, not everyone can be a skyscraper like you and well, everyone else."

Namjoon lets out a short laugh.

"I have thick thighs!" Jackson frowns insistently. "And so because the muscles are so compact, they look shorter and especially when everyone else around me is so tall and skinny--"

"Your legs are fine the way they are, Jackson-ah," Jaebum cuts in. "A lot of people like thick thighs, they're proportionate to your body."

Jackson sends a smug look to Namjoon, but the other just rolls his eyes.

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with your body, Jackson-ah," Namjoon snorts. "But I'm glad you've found someone who appreciates you all the same."

"Yeah, well," Jackson hides his flush with sulky look that he directs at Namjoon. "You always were mean to me. Remember when you didn't let me get a puppy?"

"We were eighteen and it was your  _parents_  that didn't let you get a puppy, not me!" Namjoon disputes but Jaebum's already begun to zone out again. He goes back to his phone.

 

**Jinyoungie:**  Stress free yet, hyung? ;)

 

**Jaebum:**  Fuck off.

 

**Jinyoungie:**  Oh my. And here I thought Jackson-ah   
would be able to calm that old Im temper?

 

**Jaebum:**  Yeah, well, it's hard to find any sort   
of relaxation when he won't stop talking.

 

**Jinyoungie:**  I thought you liked it when he talked?

 

**Jaebum:**  He's not talking to me.

 

**Jinyoungie:**  Then who is he talking to?  
**Jinyoungie:**  Hyung?  
**Jinyoungie:**  Who are you with?  
**Jinyoungie:**  Hello?

 

**Mark-Hyung:**  Hey JB! What’s happening, man?

 

Jackson's phone suddenly beeps from across the room and he shuffles around to pull it out of his pocket. He frowns a little as he looks at the screen before he looks up at Jaebum with a scowl. Jaebum rolls his eyes, knowing Jinyoung’s getting himself involved into things that aren’t his business once again.

“Anyway,” Jackson fakes a yawn, and even Namjoon smirks at that. “Me and hyung are going to head out now, Jaebum-hyung will take BamBam on his back.”

Jaebum opens his mouth to protest but Jackson shoots him a look. He sighs as he makes his way over and eases BamBam up into a piggyback. Jackson hugs Namjoon goodbye.

“Tell Jin-hyung we said hi,” Jackson smiles as he draws away from the hug and cups Namjoon’s face in his hands. “And just ask him to marry you, Joon-ah, he’ll definitely say yes.”

“What?” Namjoon flusters, looks at Jaebum with an open mouth but the eldest just shrugs under BamBam’s weight on him. “How did you… Jackson-ah…”

“Bye, Joonie!” Jackson sing-songs, as he skips to the door. He and Jaebum both put their shoes back on (Jaebum with quite a bit of difficulty), and finally step out into the brisk evening cold; Namjoon’s fond call of, “I’ll see you around, guys,” following them on the breeze.

\-- 

The walk back was quiet; Jackson still talking but no longer with his usual enthusiasm and Jaebum wonders if it’s because of what they’d found out at Namjoon’s. They make it back to Jackson’s dorm just as the streetlights begin to come on, and after depositing BamBam on Mark’s bed-- because the American had strangely disappeared at the same moment he found out Jinyoung had been left alone-- Jaebum follows Jackson into his bedroom for the night. He catches Jackson’s wrist before the other starts to strip for bed and tugs him closer, expression rueful.

“Jackson-ah,” he starts, voice careful. “I… How did you know about Namjoon-ssi’s engagement?”

“It’s been obviously coming for a while now,” Jackson says as he shrugs Jaebum’s hand off, sets about taking his earrings out. “And Jin-hyung kept mentioning about the next step after moving in, so logically I just assumed…”

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum interrupts softly and Jackson looks up at him, confusion written in his gaze.

“What for?”

“For… Well,” Jaebum doesn’t know how to say it. “You and Namjoon-ssi were--"

“Wait, wait, wait!” Jackson laughs, nose wrinkling. “Do you think I’m upset about Joonie and Jin-hyung getting married?” He asks. His expression turns gentle when he sees Jaebum’s face and he places his hands flat against Jaebum's chest. “Oh, hyung,” he murmurs. “Trust me, I feel nothing but happiness that my Joonie has found someone that makes him happy. I was just thinking about… Well,” He stops, licks his lips. He looks back at Jaebum and not for the first time, Jaebum is overcome with just how  _pretty_  Jackson is up close.

“Do you ever plan on getting married yourself, hyung?” Jackson asks.

Jaebum blinks, taken aback by his words.

“Oh,” he says. “I, well, I… I’ve never…”

An image of him in a black tux fills his mind; a red rose in his hands as he stands at the altar surrounded by his friends. His Eomma is there, face joyful and wet with tears. His Appa is there, his expression firm but pleased. Soft music would be playing in the back, flower petals would decorate the ground, and when his waif of a soon-to-be wife walks out, Jackson is  _there_  and his eyes full of  _betrayal_  and…

“No,” he bites out before he can say anything incriminating. “No, I’ve never thought about getting married before.” He feels his heart jerk at the unreadable expression on Jackson’s face but the younger just nods, hides the odd expression behind a look of seduction and want.

“Okay,” Jackson smiles. “Good.” He tiptoes to nip at Jaebum’s bottom lip, to draw it into his own mouth with a harsh suck, eyes darkening as he moves his hands to Jaebum’s belt. “Do you still want to continue on with what we were doing earlier then?”

Jaebum clears his throat and he raises his hands to cup Jackson’s jaw and to pull him in for a sweet, soft kiss. He purposely avoids looking at the silver ring on Jackson’s right hand because that has absolutely no correlation with what is going through his mind right now. But as he presses Jackson down into the mattress a few minutes later, and as he laces their fingers together when Jackson arches beneath him, he finds it almost maddening how he can’t stop himself from wondering; what that ring would look like if it were on Jackson’s left hand instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, guys, thank you for the kudos and comments! They make my day! I've already finished writing the next chapter and I just need to edit it, so it should be out A LOT quicker. <333!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very... Wordy. I got a little carried away. I'm sorry. But I hope you all still enjoy it!

** SIX **

Jaebum draws his bottom lip into his mouth as an inexplicable rage runs through him; crashing through his veins, suffocating his pores and wrapping around his heart like a fist.

He's well aware of the fact that his jaw is clenching; chin jutting out in the way that everyone teases him about-- and he's also aware that BamBam and Yugyeom are giggling beside him because of it, but he can't be bothered to deal with the maknae's whilst the actual travesty that occurs in front of him continues to go on.

There are several squeals as the soft music playing in the background changes and Jaebum has to close his eyes to remain sane.

"Why don't you just stop them, hyung?" BamBam asks through his laughter. He leans over to squeeze Jaebum's thigh gently but Jaebum jerks away with a grunt, almost knocking his knee up against the table in front.

It's none of BamBam's business what Jaebum does and doesn't do. Just like it's none of Jaebum's business what Jackson wants to do. And if what Jackson wants to do is grind down into Jinyoung's lap in slow circles, his snapback pulled down over his eyes and plump bottom lip caught between his white teeth, well-- that's just between them.

Because seriously, though, who is BamBam to even suggest such a thing? It's clear that the rest of his companions are having a good time, Jaebum's just here for the atmosphere. He sure as heck wasn't even _invited_ to any karaoke night anyway. In fact, he hadn't even known they were having a party at all until he'd arrived five minutes ago, and so out of protest, he’d refused to eat or drink anything offered to him.

Only half an hour before, he had been sat in the library working on that stupid essay and other fun, fun stuff before his classes began the next day. He had planned to go back to the dorm, sink into his plush, new comforter and pillow set, and dream the night away; the thought of hours and hours of rest and relaxation the only thing keeping him from collapsing on his way to the bus.

That had all been before he had met Youngjae who was on his way to meet the others from his part-time job as a dog-walker. That was before he had been reminded that it was actually karaoke night (a frequent celebration they had the night before classes began after any holidays), and he’d walked into the fairy-light-infested, fake-fog-filled heck-hole. That was before he had seen the table filled with food and drinks, heard the music blaring out of the speakers, and seen Jackson practically molesting Jaebum’s room-mate with an entirely inappropriate lap-dance.

Jaebum takes a breath, focuses on the other boys instead.

He looks towards motherly Jinyoung who is snorting with laughter, eyes crinkled charmingly as he covers his mouth with both hands. He looks towards his quiet hyung, Mark, who is doubled over in his chair, clutching at his stomach and near tears from his giggles as he looks Jaebum pretty much dead in his face. He looks towards everyone's sunshine Youngjae, who is stood beside them all, swaying and staggering on the spot; his head tilted back and mouth open so wide his guffaws almost cover the sensual pulse of an unfinished 'Prove it' playing in the background.

So yeah, you see? Everything is fine. Just fine.

"He's just joking, hyung," Yugyeom draws Jaebum's attention. The youngest maknae sipping carefully at a straw dipped into a glass of something turquoise. "He probably hasn't even noticed you're here, yet."

And Jaebum growls because, yeah, that makes him feel a whole lot better.

"Shhhh!" BamBam snaps, elbowing the youngest but Jaebum's already taken to ignoring them as they begin to whisper-fight. He doesn't have time for babies right now. Or young men that act like babies, or young men that look like babies or both or whatever.

The only thing that matters right now is how much notice he is not taking of Jackson.

And how unsexy Jackson's dancing is.

End of.

"Hold me right here," Jackson's breathless voice suddenly cuts through the giggles, and his hands move from Jinyoung's shoulders to grip Jinyoung's hands, and he pulls them until they rest on his hips. Jaebum can see a flash of white teeth beneath the cap and everyone laughs outright as Jackson begins to _grind_.

Luckily, though, Jackson’s antics seem to distract everyone else from Jaebum's spiral into desolation. Because seriously now, it's not that Jaebum is upset or anything. Not at all. It's just that none if this is actually... funny?

Jaebum wouldn't exactly class himself as the most giddy of people; he doesn't just crack up at anything even though he definitely knows how to laugh and appreciate good humour when the time comes for it, but this-- this abomination of _all that is good and pure in the world_ (and no, that's not an exaggeration), this just isn't funny.

Like, at all.

In fact, Jaebum would go so far as to say that it was _so_ unfunny that it actually makes him feel kind of angry. And no, it's not angry in the gut-twisting, heart-achingly (why, Jackson, why?!) jealous kind of way that Jinyoung would think-- the kind of way that makes Jaebum want to drink until he's numb, or pull Jackson away from Jinyoung and shove him up against a wall because _he’s mine_ or anything like that. No.

It just makes him feel uncomfortable, rather. Rigid. _Broken_ in a way that makes him want to start kicking over tables instead; breaking glasses and pulling the stereo plug out of the wall with a vicious yank because really now! _He wrote this song, goddammit!_

"Jackson-ah!"

Said Chinese boy finally looks up, neck bending and head falling back far enough for him to see under the peak of the hat instead of just taking it off altogether. Youngjae almost falls over himself laughing again.

Jackson, however, beams. And lifting himself off of Jinyoung's lap, he bounds over to Jaebum like an over-excited puppy. "Hyung!" He crows. He pulls his hat off when he reaches him, runs a hand through his sweaty hair and replaces it backwards. "You made it! I thought you were studying until late tonight?"

"He's been here for about five minutes, now," BamBam answers for Jaebum. "He came in with Youngjae-hyung and hasn’t taken his eyes off of you, I’m surprised you didn’t notice him. The angry chin made an appearance-- and you can see _that_ from space so--"

Jaebum throws an arm around BamBam's neck and tugs him down into a headlock to break off his sentence. He makes a quick mental note to also suffocate the kid with a pillow the next time he falls asleep on his couch. These ungrateful children. Jackson just laughs, joins in with the murder by climbing on top of the younger and tickling him. Mark makes his way over too, sitting on the edge of the table in front of the second youngest maknae and pinching his cheeks until they redden. It isn't long until BamBam finally wheezes that he ' _really can't breathe now, hyung!_ ' and the rest of his face starts to go red.

Jaebum's irritation begins to settle a little because BamBam is about twenty seconds from passing out cold and Jackson, Mark and Jinyoung look ecstatic.

And who doesn't like happy people?

"I finished early," Jaebum finally answers Jackson, letting the Thai boy scramble away; BamBam muttering loudly about how he's lost an earring in the faux-leather upholstery of the seat. He and Yugyeom begin to search as BamBam shoots Jaebum a narrowed look, but Jaebum continues speaking, unfazed. "It was nice of everyone to let me know you were all having a party by the way. If I hadn’t seen Youngjae-ah at the bus stop, I probably would’ve been none the wiser."

“Maybe that would’ve been a good thing,” BamBam mutters and him and Yugyeom stifle their giggles.

"Jackson-ah sent you a text--" Mark tells him as he slides off the table and sits down beside where Jackson is now reclining on Jaebum's right, the Hong-Kong native suddenly sitting up and interrupting the American with an outraged, "I told you!" directed to Jaebum at the same moment.

Jaebum stays silent, slumps deeper into his seat as Jackson's hands wrap around his bicep, "I texted you a whole two hours ago, hyung."

"Did you even check your phone?" Jinyoung arches an eyebrow. Jaebum looks up as his oldest friend makes his way over to the others, too, arm in arm with Youngjae. Jaebum stays silent again because, honestly, who checks their phone before they're just about to go to bed? Everyone? Well, whatever.

Youngjae drags a chair to sit opposite them all and Jaebum distracts himself by directing a warm smile at him, the younger smiling back brightly before he pulls his phone out of his pocket to mess around on, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth in concentration. Of course the only person most willing to be Jaebum's ally is playing a game again. He sighs in defeat.

"Ahh, you see," Jackson pulls Jaebum's attention again. He slaps a hand down on Jaebum's thigh and squeezes lightly, runs it up and down a few times before curling his fingers into the material. “I’m right, aren’t-- Hey, are you wearing my jeans again?”

Jaebum rolls his eyes as Jackson sets in to scrutinising every inch of his outfit and watches as Jinyoung squishes himself into the little space between Jackson and Mark instead. He grins when Mark has to balance on the edge of the seat but seems unwilling to move away because he's still next to Jinyoung. Oh, young love.

“These are definitely mine,” Jackson nods with finality before taking and squeezing Jaebum’s hand. "And you know we could never have a party without you, hyung, not without our--" he withdraws his warm hand and cups both around his mouth, throwing his head back to yell, "--chic and sexy b-boy kiiiing!"

"Brrrrap brrrrap!" Yugyeom calls out from the floor and Jackson and the two maknae's flop down into giggles. BamBam's sudden cry of "aha!", lets everyone know that he’s finally found what he was looking for on the floor, and the second youngest holds up a glint of gold and diamond with a smug look. He's now on his knees on the dirty ground, though, the front of his red and black shirt covered in dust and grit. Jackson gives him an proud look.

"How pathetic," Mark murmurs playfully and a mini-argument ensues. It's going to be a long night.

Jaebum ignores Jinyoung trying to pin the Thai boy down and flick him on the forehead, and thinks more about Jackson's previous statement about them not being able to party without him; he wants to tell them that they seemed to be having a _pretty good_ time when they didn't know he was there, but when he looks at the Hong-Kong native to say this, his voice suddenly leaves him. It was darker over where everyone was sitting before but here against the wall, the fairy-lights are a lot less dim...

...

...

...And it takes a while for Jaebum's brain to come back online when he notices the loose, white basketball vest that Jackson has on; the material thin and translucent. Clinging to his sweaty body like a second skin.

Dear God.

Jaebum chokes on his spit.

"Quick hyung, drink this!" Jackson reaches for Yugyeom's half-filled glass left on the table and presses the straw to Jaebum's lips. "Just little sips, yeah?" He turns away to whisper to himself, "I knew the fog machine was a bad idea."

Jaebum bats him away, his laughter punctured by chokes as Jackson grins back at him. Unluckily though, this all seems to have garnered the unwanted attention from the rest of the group, and now everyone save Youngjae is watching them with a look of tender yet embarrassed fascination. Jaebum ducks his head.

"Are you sure you don't want your own drink, hyung?" Jinyoung interrupts. His eyes sparkle from where he's still sat on BamBam’s stomach and he looks pointedly in the direction of the refreshments table. "You're looking pretty thirsty from over here."

Jaebum's eyes narrow when Mark is suddenly crippled by laughter again but he just blinks and decides to say nothing-- because really now; that's just rude and unnecessary.

Jaebum turns back to Jackson for some decent conversation (Lord help him)-- and avoiding from dropping his gaze to anywhere near the damp, kissable throat, the toned, tanned biceps (those _arms!_ )-- he finds the boy draining the rest of Yugyeom's drink, eyes on the two maknae's as BamBam is released, and him and Yugyeom shimmy up to the front of the room to begin singing along to some girl-group song; as loud and obnoxious as always.

"What were you doing anyway, Jackson-ah?"

Jackson's eyes glide over to Jaebum, wide and inquisitive. His mouth is pink and plump and pursed around the straw, and help. Please. Anyone?

"The... Dancing," Jaebum's voice is getting rougher, deeper (God, what is wrong with him tonight?), "with Jinyoungie."

"Oh, that," Jackson shrugs. "I just plugged my phone in with the music on shuffle and since I have a sexy song playlist, I just thought I’d demonstrate a lap-dance--“

“--As you do--“ Mark interjects with a grin from behind him.

“--Just to show the subtle art of seduction," Jackson finishes, elbows Mark playfully.

"Right. Subtle." Jaebum deadpans. "But I didn’t think that Jinyoungie would be the one to need lessons out of everyone," he says with a smirk back at Mark. "I would’ve thought he already has what he wants by now anyway."

Jackson’s cute and cryptic smile invades Jaebum’s previous view of his bashful-looking hyung, and the younger cups his free hand under Jaebum's jaw affectionately to gain his full attention (like he didn’t already have it 24/7).

"Ah, hyung," the tip of Jackson's now blue tongue peeks out, runs along his bottom lip and dampens the pink to a unfairly arousing red. Jaebum briefly wonders what flavour Yugyeom’s drink had been. "Who said that my lesson was for Jinyoungie?"

Jaebum frowns but by the time he opens his mouth-- a new louder song has begun to play on the stereo, the bass hefty and thrumming, drowning out his voice and vibrating through the mirrors on the walls, rattling the glass bottles on the tables.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Jackson suddenly jumps out of his seat to quickly abandon his glass into Jaebum's fumbling hands. He whisks Mark up on his way to the front, wrenches the microphone out of Yugyeom's grasp and slips an arm around the eldest to pull him close. "Oh my God, Mark-hyung!" He practically decapitates the eldest in half in his excitement. "This is our _song!_ "

\--

Jaebum blinks his way back into consciousness to find Jinyoung standing in front of him, the younger holding a glass bottle in either hand and an unimpressed expression adorning his handsome face.

Jaebum stretches his arms over his head, rolls his shoulders, cracks his neck. He wasn't asleep, he was just thinking; thinking with his eyes closed after momentarily falling comatose as one does. A quick glance at the others gyrating on the dance floor let’s him know that Jackson's still hidden somewhere in the mass, and so it's not like he's missed anything anyway.

"Tired?" Jinyoung asks. He has a smug smile on his face as he passes a bottle to Jaebum and sits down right beside him. Jinyoung crosses one leg over the other, sips at his drink. "Or are you just thinking about your fanboy?"

Jaebum rolls his eyes and sniffs suspiciously at the bottle Jinyoung's given him but takes a mouthful when all he smells is beer. He hums his thanks but ignores everything else.

"So what, are you two _still_ not a proper thing yet?" Jinyoung persists and Jaebum almost chokes on his drink-- his eyes swivelling away from where he wasn't watching Jackson make his way to the front of the group, and towards his oldest friend instead.

"What?"

"Oh, come on," Jinyoung smiles. "You almost had a conniption when you saw Jackson-ah in my lap earlier. Have you really not asked him out properly, yet? I've said it before, hyung, _forget your parents_ ; you’re an adult now! You can’t keep letting other people tell you what to do. You know that others are going to try and snatch Jackson-ah up if you take too long, don’t you?"

Jaebum sneers and slumps down in his chair. He looks at the bubbles in the foam of his drink.

"He was grinding himself down into _your_ lap when I first came in, so I guess I only have to worry about you,” he mutters moodily. “And anyway, Jackson-ah tells me about everyone that he’s even just glimpsed throughout the day. I think he’d let me know if he was interested in someone else."

Jinyoung tucks his tongue behind his front teeth before he shrugs and Jaebum's eyes snap towards him again, scowl deepening even more.

“What is it?"

A slow smirk makes its way onto Jinyoung's lips and he leans forward until only his face fills Jaebum’s vision. "Why do you think I know something?” He smells like Mark’s coconut shampoo, “How do you know that I’m not just proud of you for finally admitting that you feel something more than just lust for our little Jackson-ah?"

Jaebum bites his bottom lip because he’s never really thought he was _that much_ in denial, but Jinyoung’s look clearly tells him otherwise. Okay, so maybe he does deny loving Jackson a little but it’s only for everyone’s own good. It’s not like he can be with him, so what does it matter if he does feel a little spark between the two of them? And it's not like he's _one hundred_ percent in love anyway, it's more like fifty percent... Okay, seventy-five... Ninety-nine... Point nine? Fuck.

“It’s all pointless,” Jaebum says nonchalantly.

Jinyoung scowls briefly before he sighs, “I guess you’re right.” He nods dejectedly, “And maybe because it _is_ so pointless, you should just break off whatever this thing is that you have with him now before he gets really hurt. Because that tall, strapping dancer that Jimin-ssi and Hoseok-ssi saw him cuddling with in the dance studio could be someone that he could  _really_  have something with if you aren't around anymore.“

“...What?”

"Oh right," Jinyoung says thoughtfully. "I thought you already knew considering Jackson-ah tells you everything-- But Jackson-ah’s been seen down in the dance studios the last few weeks, apparently. He was there a couple of times this week alone with some guy. I think he goes there to offer tips on flexibility and stretching, teaches some moves when the two of them are _alone_ , maybe that's where he learned the stuff that he was doing with me tonight--"

And Jaebum stands up so abruptly, his head feels dizzy from the movement. He wavers a little when he hears Jinyoung's full-out laughter now and he looks down as the younger pulls a little on Jaebum's sleeve, his other hand moving to cover his mouth as he chuckles.

"Hyung, sit down," he laughs into his palm. "It turns out it was just Yugyeom. They'd seen Jackson-ah picking him up from his practice a few times and thought he was some mysterious boyfriend or something when he kept coming back. Everyone was pretty disappointed, to be honest. But judging from your reaction, I'm guessing you aren’t?"Jaebum feels the irrational anger in his chest subside mildly into embarrassment and he sends a dirty glare towards his so-called friend. Jinyoung sighs once his laughter tapers off, strokes a consoling hand over the others knee. "Poor hyung,” he says. “You've really got it bad, huh?"

Jaebum knocks Jinyoung's hand away and doesn't answer because he's pretty sure Jinyoung's question was rhetorical. And anyway, he doesn't even know what Jinyoung's talking about because _just_ because he admitted that he has feelings for Jackson, doesn’t mean that… Yes.

Yes, okay? Yes, he does have it bad (he has it _really_ bad), and now to make it even worse, people have started to notice that Jaebum's major, _major_ (red-alert, red-alert!) soft-spot for one Jackson Wang is about as soft and squishy as Jackson's cheeks. And now poor Jaebum can do nothing else but force himself into a constant state of denial because of it because he _can't_ let people know that he cares for Jackson as much as he does, because soon the suspecting won't just be suspecting anymore, it'll be knowing instead.

And then once people know, then Jackson will find out. And then once Jackson knows, then their friends will find out. And then once their friends know, then his family will find out. And then once his family all know, then the world will come to a _stop_ \-- because Jaebum's already broken his promise to them from a long time ago, and has fallen even deeper and now, irreversibly in love with a boy he's known since he was sixteen when he promised he wouldn't. And it's getting harder and harder for Jaebum to hold back because Jackson is still just _Jackson_. He's cute, and he's seductive, and he's loving, and he's warm, and it’s getting so indescribably _difficult_ not to touch him back-- not to touch him _more_ , with almost heart-shattering _need_.

It’s getting hard because Jaebum’s already started to cradle Jackson’s face in his palms with affection and caress his chest and his stomach with care. He's already started to grip his hips and his thighs and just hold them, _bruise_ them, because he’s fucking _in love_ with him and he wants to _make love_ to him instead of just having meaningless sex with him all the time.

Jackson is _beautiful_ and he deserves to be worshipped; and Jaebum’s parents have no idea that Jaebum was already waaaay too far in love to make a promise like he did, because he absolutely fucking adores Jackson, and at this point, if it comes down to choosing between his family and his love; he's finding it hard to remember why he would even think about choosing his parents when he just-can’t-lose- _him._

"Oh man," Jackson suddenly barrels over making Jaebum jump in alarm. The younger pulls his hat off and wipes the back of his wrist over his soaking forehead once again, and Jaebum's heart thumps. It's only then that Jaebum notices the music has stopped, that Jinyoung is watching him with something akin to awe in his eyes (because Jaebum is going to disintegrate into nothingness in seconds), and that Jackson is still standing there-- Jaebum's heart in human form.

Jaebum’s standing before he realises it, leaving his drink back on the table and grabbing Jackson by his forearm to pull him out of the stuffy karaoke room and down the hall. They go past the front desk and the reception, past the vending machines and the rec room, and stop in a small bathroom near the entrance. Jackson follows along willingly, bobbing along behind like a fish on a line without a word and he jerks to a halt once they get inside. Even under the unflattering lights in the public bathroom, he still looks stunning (if a little clammy) and Jaebum grips him by his biceps, spins him around and presses him against the tiled wall.

“Be mine.”

Jackson’s mouth falls open in disbelief, confusion sweeping over his face.

“Jaebummie-hyung…What?”

“Be mine,” Jaebum repeats, earnestly. “Go out with me, date me, stay next to me forever, just be mine. Only mine. _Please_.”

Jackson’s chest is heaving, his tongue running over his chapped lips.

“Hyung,” he starts. “Are you sure you--?”

“If you ask me if I’m sure that I want this, I will lose my mind,” Jaebum admits shakily. “I want this more than anything, Jackson-ah. I want _you_ , please. Do you love me too?”

Jackson swallows hard, Adam’s apple bobbing temptingly in his throat, “of course, I do, hyung. I’ve wanted this for years.”

“Then please,” Jaebum presses closer, lifts a hand to hold Jackson’s jaw like it's made of glass, “I know that a public toilet isn’t the place I should be admitting all of this to you, but I can’t go on anymore… Jinyoungie... He told me about you and Yugyeom, about how the others thought you were dating, and it made me realise that you can just leave at any second. That you can just walk out of my life and into someone else’s at any moment, and I would _die_ if that were to happen… I love you, Jackson-ah. I’m in love with you and I’m an idiot for denying it for so long. I… Have I read you all wrong? Do you not want this, too?”  

Jaebum waits silently, desperately, beginning to contemplate a route of escape when suddenly Jackson throws his arms around Jaebum’s neck, pulls him against him and sobs softly against his lips, "ah, hyung, shimkoong!"

Jaebum lets out a soft laugh of relief and squeezes his own eyes closed. He hungrily consumes the sweet, familiar mouth beneath his own and sinks into his body, his heart racing, aching pleasantly in his chest. If he knew that belonging to Jackson felt this good, he would’ve done it a long time ago. Regardless of the consequences in the future now, he’s one hundred percent sure he’ll be able to face anything, and especially with Jackson at his side. (Oh, and Yugyeom's drink? Definitely strawberry.)

\--

It feels like the evening is beginning to wind down after a few more songs, and Jaebum covers his mouth with a fist to hide his wide yawn, sinking back into the squeaky chair. After returning from the bathroom, Jackson had ricocheted back into the crowd of boys and Jaebum had made his way over to the seating again, slumping down dreamily beside a warily joyful Jinyoung. Jaebum and Jackson had decided to keep things on the down-low for a little while, or at least until they had time to settle down and talk about things in a deep and meaningful way properly, and not yet tell the boys.

That didn't mean that Jaebum had been able to stop himself from blurting it all out to Jinyoung as soon as he sat down beside the younger, but now, almost half an hour later, he finds himself regretting it because Jinyoung won't stop whispering furiously in his ear. “What do you mean you don't know if you'll tell him?” He hisses. “He deserves to know what your parents said.”

“First you say I should just forget about my parents, and now you’re telling me to talk about them?” Jaebum turns to the other. “What difference would it make if Jackson-ah finds out or not? I’m not going to leave him now no matter what they say.”

“It’s the principal of the matter!” Jinyoung sounds like he’s going as insane as Jaebum already went many, many years ago. “You’re always complaining about how you think Jackson-ah’s keeping secrets from you, shouldn’t you at least be honest with him in return?”

Jaebum turns his head so fast he feels something in his neck click.

“First of all--” he starts but then the music stops again and the others all start to walk over, talking loudly and giggling about whatever. Jaebum recoils a little at how loud his own voice had just been.

"You should go up there and sing, Jaebum-hyung!" Jackson calls to him as the others make their way over to gather around Jaebum and Jinyoung suddenly, all of them laden down with plates of food. "It's so invigorating; _freeing_. It's like being on a stage."

There's a general hum as everyone begins to eat and Jackson offers Yugyeom a grateful smile as the maknae passes him a set of chopsticks. He sits down between Jaebum and Yugyeom and snaps the wood apart. He pulls Jaebum’s left hand into his lap shyly to play with his leather bracelet and steals a chicken nugget off of Yugyeom’s plate with a wink. Jaebum squeezes his fingers gently.

"You should sing something slow," BamBam puts in brightly, mouth full of rice. "Something to get us all into the mood."

"The mood for what?" Youngjae laughs, "there aren't any girls around here."

Jackson balks, leans over to squeeze Youngjae's knee and makes the others fall into peals of laughter, "ah, Youngjae-ah, you don't need girls," he purrs. Youngjae yells, hitting Jackson in the chest and almost knocks over a bowl of tteokbokki as he tries to squirm away. Jackson cries out at the hit.

"I really don't feel like singing," Jaebum mutters, rolling his right shoulder again. He accepts the spicy chicken wing Mark passes him and bites into it viciously. "I'm exhausted... I was actually going to go to bed before I found out everyone was here."

"And miss Karaoke night?" Concern colours Jackson's face as he laces their fingers. "Are you in pain? We can leave now if you want?"

Jinyoung begins to nudge Jaebum so violently he almost pushes him off his seat. Jaebum digs back and smiles in cruel victory at the indignant yelp he receives in reply. He’ll tell Jackson when he’s ready. "I’m just tired because I’m old," he murmurs discarding the bones of the wing into a napkin and reaching for another. Jackson snorts, shakes his hand free and pulls a bowl of ramen towards himself.

"Aw, come on, there's only like, three months between us Jaebum..." Jackson flashes a cheeky grin as he stirs his chopsticks through the noodles. He hides his face behind a shield of them as Jaebum narrows his eyes at him, "…Hyung."

Jaebum rolls his eyes, ignores the soft laughter directed at him from Mark.

Why is everyone against him?

"Well if I had to pick one,” Yugyeom’s voice suddenly breaks the quiet, “I’d pick Jackson-hyung!"

The hyung-line turn to look at the maknae as he grins bashfully, ears turning a little pink, and Jackson touches his knee, rubs his fingers over the bare flesh that peeks through the rips in his jeans. Jaebum sips his drink, minds his own business.

"What’s that about me?" Jackson questions the maknae and BamBam and Youngjae chuckle in unison.

"Yugyeom said that out of all of us, he'd date you if you were a girl," Youngjae answers.

"He says you're cuuute," BamBam adds with a grin.

Jackson preens at the compliment. "Of course I’m cute!" He squeezes the maknae's knee affectionately. "I'm damn cute! Anyone would be lucky to have me as their noona, right?"

"Oh God," Jinyoung covers his eyes. "No-one would ever believe that we actually manage to get into these conversations. I don't even believe it myself sometimes."

"What? It's true!" Jackson shrugs. "Don't tell me you wouldn't date me, too, Jinyoungie!"

"If we were the girls or if you were?" Mark intervenes, chewing thoughtfully and Jackson shrugs.

"Half of us don’t even like girls, so what does it matter?"

"Of course of matters," Jinyoung interrupts. "If we're going to have this conversation, let's at least do it properly."

"But how does it matter who the girl is?" Jaebum asks, pulling the bowl of chicken feet away from Youngjae with a grin. “Surely if you, Jackson-ah, Mark-hyung and Bam don’t like women, you’re not going to pick any of us if we were one.”

Jinyoung gives him a withering look.

"Then they don’t pick,” he says. “Just the ones that _do_ like women. And I don’t dislike girls, I’ve had a girlfriend before you know, it’s just that now I prefer--”

“--Mark,” BamBam interjects slyly and the others laugh as Jinyoung scowls at him.

"Okay, so you're the guy and we're the girls," Jackson looks back at Jinyoung. He slurps up a mouthful of noodles and the younger purses his own mouth as he looks around the group ignoring Jaebum’s squirm.

"Mark," he answers easily, not at all swayed by Yugyeom and BamBam's "ewww!"

Mark, however, leans over to knock BamBam upside the head, ignoring the second youngest's protests that Yugyeom said it too.

"And if you were the girl?" Jackson continues blithely.

"Jaebum-hyung," Jinyoung answers like he's trying to prove he wouldn't just pick Mark every time. He reaches for a pair of chopsticks and delicately picks up a piece of grilled pork. "He's so... Masculine."

"This is so weird," Youngjae laughs.

Jackson looks offended.

"What about me?" Jackson cries. "Am I not manly enough for you? Look at these biceps! I took you out for meat!"

"You only bought me meat out of guilt," Jinyoung answers back. He sends BamBam a dirty look and the younger just giggles back at him sneakily knowing he’s Jackson’s favourite to treat.

Yugyeom hides his face into Jackson's shoulder with a groan, and Mark snickers, cracks open another bottle of some soft-drink and passes it to Jackson.

"Yugyeom's right," he says as Jackson takes a swig and squints disapprovingly at the oldest. "Come on, guys, let’s just enjoy the rest of the evening."

"You're only saying that because Jinyoung picked you," Jackson supplies.

"Yeah, right," Mark mumbles but his ears turn red. Jinyoung beams at him and wipes sauce from the corner of his mouth with his thumb.

"Anyway," Jackson rolls his eyes, flaps a hand disinterestedly. "Now that the MarkJin Conspiracy has been confirmed what about…Hmmm… What about you, Jaebummie-hyung? Who would you date if we were all girls?"

Jaebum looks up, cheeks rounded with chicken feet and kimchi and chews quickly. He scans the boys before meeting Jinyoung's judging gaze. He swallows hard because the other’s still don’t know about him and Jackson yet and although its not a problem really, if they find out, he still wants to talk things out first.

"Uh... Mark's cute," he replies. Jackson snorts.

"Nice," Jackson throws his chopsticks down playfully, crosses his arms over his chest. Mark sends him a peace sign and scrunches his nose cutely.

"Uh… He's quiet, too?" Jaebum elaborates, avidly ignoring Jinyoung's gaze now burning into the side of his head, and Jackson scoffs louder, even more jokingly offended now.

 "Oh, so it's not just a looks thing, it's a personality thing now too, huh? Thanks, hyung."

Yugyeom grins and wraps his arms around Jackson's shoulders consolingly. Jackson huffs gratefully as he’s rocked side to side. "It's nice to know that I'm wanted by someone at least," he mutters, turning to cradle Yugyeom's face in his hands. “Thanks, Gyeommie.”

He pulls him even closer but BamBam pushes Yugyeom from the other side and the maknae tips into Jackson's lap just as Jackson manages to plant a wet smack of a kiss on Yugyeom's mouth, missing his cheek completely.

Screaming and yelling ensues; more giggling and chuckling, and Yugyeom hides his now red face in his arms. Jackson sits back in his chair, eyes darting over to Jaebum quickly. Jinyoung's hand curls around Jaebum's knee, stopping the bouncing of his leg and grounding him. It's a stupid thing to get jealous over anyway. Yugyeom is the _baby_ , Jackson would never see him in any other way apart from as a little brother even if he does climb all over and flirt with him like crazy.

"All right, all right," Jinyoung finally breaks in over the commotion. "Let's not act like Jackson-ah doesn’t go around kissing everyone in sight." Jaebum shoots Jinyoung a look but the younger ignores him in favour of reaching over the table to slap at Jackson's shoulder, the Chinese boy flicking his tongue back at Jinyoung provocatively.

"Let's just take the rest of this home, yeah?" Mark suddenly stands up, reaching over and closing up a few half-empty containers of food. He stacks them up on the side. "JB you can take them, you’re most likely to end up having most of these for breakfast, anyway." But Jaebum doesn't answer, still caught up in his own thoughts.

\--

The walk back to the dorms is quiet; most of the boys too full and too content to start trouble or make noise; now just dozing on their feet.

"You doing okay over here, hyung?" Jackson walks over. He presses his cold nose into the side of Jaebum's shoulder as he huddles closer into Jaebum’s side. Jaebum nods and slows his pace a little until the two of them are at the back of the pack. He looks down at the Hong-Kong native and swallows, lifts a hand to sweep away Jackson’s hair that’s become caught on his eyelashes and wraps an arm around him.

"I think we should talk about everything properly soon,” he says quietly. “I know we’re all back to class tomorrow, but maybe sometime in the week when you're free?”

Jackson nods, offering only a warm smile in return. Jaebum lets his arm slide down to Jackson's waist and keeps it there as they bid farewell to the rest of the boy’s when they trail off to their own dorms for the night. Jaebum pauses once he reaches outside of Jackson's and Mark's dorm with the others, sways shyly side to side. Jinyoung notices the awkward foot-shuffling between Jackson and Jaebum and rolls his eyes, pulls an oblivious Mark around the corner of the building and gives them some alone time. Jaebum steps closer to Jackson immediately, reaches up to rub his thumb over a poor, chapped bottom lip.

“Thank you for loving me, Jackson-ah,” he whispers as he presses a light kiss to Jackson’s lips, tongue sweeping out briefly to help warm his mouth. "I promise we'll talk soon.”

"Of course, hyung," Jackson flushes back with pleasure. "Thank you for loving me, too."

(And if the moment is ruined by a ruffled-looking Mark and a very pleased looking Jinyoung returning from their trip around the corner, Mark's scarf now firmly wrapped around Jinyoung's neck instead, well, who is Jaebum to deny them their happiness when he's feeling _beyond_ ecstatic himself, right now?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: This is the FIRST chapter I wrote of this entire story. Everything else is just based entirely around this. Yay? Haha. Thank you for reading!! <333!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, I've spent at least forty-five years editing this and cutting it down, but it's still the longest yet. ALSO! Thank you so, so, SO much for all your kudos and comments. You're all amazing. ^.^!

** SEVEN **

There are many incredible little things that can make your day better from the start; listening to the rain outside whilst you're curled up warm in bed, snuggling up beside someone knowing you have no plans for _hours_ , pressing your face into a sleep-warmed neck as careful fingers card through your hair-- and luckily for Jaebum, he just so happens to be the recipient of all three luxuries at present.

He purrs as he presses closer, winds his arms more firmly around the body in his embrace, and lets his mouth ghost over smooth collarbones. At this moment in time, he's sure there's nothing in the world that Jackson could ask for that he wouldn't do everything in his power to give him.

"You should get up and get me breakfast," Jackson mutters softly, pushes back Jaebum's hair from his forehead, and even though Jaebum's eyes remain closed he can hear a grin in the younger's gravelly voice. He slowly opens his eyes to meet with full lips and a cute nose, and he nips at a stubbled chin lightly, receiving a yelp in reply.

"Mean," Jackson pouts, snuggling deeper under the blankets until his gaze is level with Jaebum's. "You said you’d look after me. You're meant to be my hyung."

"When did I ever say that?" Jaebum blinks, and Jackson's grin is sly as he slides forwards and rubs their noses together.

"In your sleep."

Jaebum goes cross-eyed watching Jackson up so close, but jerks back at his words. _What kind of lies_ \-- He doesn't talk in his sleep!

"I don't talk in my sleep!" He voices out-loud but Jackson just sighs forlornly.

"Poor hyung," he murmurs disappointedly. "So cute but so ignorant."

Jaebum growls. He grips the little tease's wrists and rolls him onto his back as the younger squeals. Jaebum pins Jackson down, a hand either side of his head. Jackson’s legs spread; knees up and feet planted against the mattress as Jaebum sits lightly astride his stomach. He glowers.

"You hurt my chin!" Jackson quickly cries out before Jaebum can say anything, and Jaebum's eyes flicker down to the soft pink mark that's begun to bloom. He grins, all earlier playfulness forgotten. Jackson tugs him down, kisses his way up Jaebum’s warm throat and over his Adam's apple before lifting up onto his elbows and carefully slotting their lips together. Jaebum draws back as he slips his tongue into Jackson’s mouth, however, and his eyes narrow suspiciously when he tastes mint.

"How long have you been awake?"

"A couple of hours," Jackson shrugs, slipping out of Jaebum's grasp and pushing the elder off of him so he can sit up and stretch his arms over his head. The blankets slip down and Jaebum gets a full view of Jackson’s naked torso. He moves closer again.

"You want to spend the morning in bed?" He presses a kiss to a naked shoulder and Jackson laughs, turns to slide a hand through the Jaebum's messy hair.

"You’re insatiable,” he pinches Jaebum’s cheek lightly. “But I have to get to class today. _Plus_ , I also have some stuff to do before that so..."

"Stuff like what?" Jaebum rolls over to get his phone and squint at the screen, eyebrows drawing together. "It’s barely eight and I know you don’t have any classes until midday. You’re not even scheduled for work today, are you?"

“Someone’s got my schedule memorised,” Jackson grins. “But yeah, I know. I just have something that I need to do this morning. It’s nothing to make a big deal about; I’m just seeing a friend." Jaebum continues to watch the younger as Jackson squirms a little where he's sat. He finally gives in under Jaebum's heavy gaze, "Okay, so it's not exactly a... A thing that I _need_ to do, but I did make a promise, so--"

"A promise to who?" Jaebum's aware that he’s coming across a touch possessive but Jackson is being remarkably cryptic for some reason, and Jaebum just wants to know _why_.

"Namjoon," Jackson says casually, slinking out of bed and avoiding Jaebum's gaze. "I promised I'd go and talk with him. Apparently he's been having a hard time with his music."

"Classes started barely a week ago,” Jaebum says pointedly. “How could Namjoon the genius need advice from _you_?" He recoils at the sharp look Jackson sends him, raises his hands in surrender.

"It’s not help, really, just an opinion," Jackson says plainly. "He’s in the same course as you, you must know how hard it is. He just wants an outside ear to hear some of the new stuff him and Yoongi-hyung have come up with."

"Yoongi-hyung?" Jaebum tries to remain casual but his mind is reeling so fast with thoughts of Jackson and Namjoon _together,_  and without _him;_ that can't even appreciate Jackson's half naked body now pacing around the room.

"Yeah, but Yoongi-hyung isn't going to be there," Jackson throws a towel over his shoulder. “He’s had a dentist appointment or something.”

"And what about Jin-ssi?" Jaebum sits up now. "Does _he_ know that Namjoon-ssi's ex-boyfriend is going to be hanging around with him at his house _alone_ , listening to music with him _alone_ , all morning whilst he’s at work and you guys are _alone_?”

Jackson rolls his eyes.

"You said alone more than once," he answers with a grin. "And I’m sure Jin-hyung doesn't mind considering he's heard all of Joonie's music countless times before and most is inspired by Jin-hyung anyway. _Jaebummie-hyung!_ I’m just going to give my opinion, okay? What’s with the third degree? And for your information, it’s not _at_ their house if that makes you feel better; Joon-ah says he’s going to be at the studio all day today, so we’ll be over there, instead."

And no, that doesn’t make Jaebum feel better, because he can clearly ( _oh so vividly_ ) remember what happened between Jackson and himself the last time _they_ were left in the recording studio alone. He scowls.

“Fine,” Jaebum mutters, pulls the covers up to his chin as he leans back against the headboard, his arms crossed. “Go. I’ll see you later, then.”

Jackson gives Jaebum a solid look then sighs in exasperation. He makes his way back to the bed and crawls up towards Jaebum, cups his face tenderly in his hands.

"Stop being so cute," he murmurs, dropping a kiss to the tip of his nose. "You know I’d stay if I could, but I really did promise," he pecks his mouth. "You should get working on your essay, too, hyung," he kisses him again, slower. "A man who is all caught up with his work is _so_ sexy."

Jaebum hums softly, feels his heart begin to slow, the tension easing away with every damp press of lips to his. Jackson presses one more kiss to the eldest's forehead before sliding back off the bed.

"Oh, and since it's Friday, maybe we can have that talk later tonight?" Jackson calls as he disappears into the bathroom.

"Sure," Jaebum answers, but his stomach dips a little at what's to come.

\--

Jaebum is spread out face-down on the couch by the time Jinyoung and Mark walk in later that afternoon. The two of them are giggling together, murmuring and sharing an ice-cream cone in turns and Jaebum despises them both.

"Oh, hi, hyung," Jinyoung finally draws his eyes away from the American to meet Jaebum's desolate form. "Did Jackson-ah really go to see Namjoon-ssi this morning?"

"That's _Joon-ah_ ," Mark corrects licking his melting treat, and the two bastards giggle like children.

Jaebum glares, turns his face into the back of the couch, mumbles, "how are you two everywhere?" But all he receives is another giggle in reply.

"Don't worry, JB," Mark sighs, flopping down near his head and patting his shoulder comfortingly. "He'll be back soon. Namjoon-ssi says he can't really stay around Jackson-ah too long anyway. He says he's too loud."

Jaebum grunts into the couch cushions and wishes that would make him feel better but it doesn't. Namjoon certainly didn’t mind the loudness for the three years they were together, in fact, he’d never complained once in front of Jaebum, and Jackson’s always been as loud as he is now. Jaebum raises his head anyway and rolls onto his back. He crosses his arms over his chest and stares at the ceiling dully.

"I'm not sulking," he inputs just in case anyone might be listening. His statement is met with a snort and then silence. “I trust Jackson-ah. I just have a headache is all.”

"Right, well, you should really do something else instead of lounge around on the sofa all morning," Jinyoung mutters. He takes the ice-cream from the eldest to lick around the edge of the cone. He sits down on Mark's other side and drapes his legs into the American's lap; prods at Jaebum's shoulder with one socked foot. "Or at least do it in your room where you aren't taking up so much space. Don't you have an essay to write still?"

Mark places a hand on Jinyoung's ankle to stroke affectionately, and Jinyoung presses the ice-cream cone back into Mark’s free hand. He leans forward slowly, and maintaining eye-contact with the American, he laps away the melting treat that’s begun to slide over Mark's knuckles-- and yep. That's Jaebum's cue to leave.

He makes his way back into his bedroom and pulls out his phone as he collapses onto his bed. He flicks idly through his contacts until he comes to Jackson's name and swipes over it, a half smile curving his mouth at the picture that appears along with it.

Jackson had taken it on a weekend trip to Jeju Island that Jaebum, Jackson, Mark and Jinyoung had all gone on just over a year ago. It’s a picture of all of their faces; hair windswept and cheeks and noses pink from the cold. Jackson had wanted to use the picture of himself kissing Jaebum on the cheek as his contact picture, but Jaebum had deleted it out of spite just to prove that they weren't a couple. He kind of regrets not keeping it now; it was actually a pretty cute photo. He guesses now they'll just have to take more.

Jaebum startles as his phone buzzes in his hand, but relaxes when Youngjae's name flashes up across the screen.

 **Youngjae:** Hey hyung! Are you coming to class today?  
Want to do something together afterwards?

  
Jaebum smiles fondly and looks at Youngjae's picture of the younger cradling Coco in his arms with a wide smile. If people say that Jackson is Jaebum's favourite (which he might be, but Jinyoung's been known to lie), then Youngjae is categorically a close second.

Mark's child-like laughter and Jinyoung’s lulling, deep voice suddenly sift under his door and Jaebum stands up hastily. He's been around Mark and Jinyoung enough to know that any noises coming from the two of them separately is bad enough, let alone the two of them together. He texts back immediately:

 **  
JB:** I'll be at the lecture hall in an hour.

  
Youngjae's reply comes in as Jaebum begins to pull his sweatpants off and squirm into a pair of Jackson's jeans that the boy left behind (they’re comfortable, okay?). He quickly moves to grab his keys, phone, wallet and bag with his books and laptop.

 **  
Youngjae:** Yay! See you soon, hyung!

  
\--

 

Class finally ends just as Jaebum feels his soul beginning to leave his body-- the new notepad Jinyoung had gifted him from his trip to L.A. now full to the brim with scribbled notes and pleas for help. He chances a glance at Youngjae and the rest of the class and feels himself relax a little at the equal looks of fear on everyone’s faces. At least he’s not alone in this.

“Well,” Youngjae says as everyone starts to pack their belongings away and the lecturer repeats the date that their second draft has to be given in. “At least we won’t be bored?”

Jaebum sighs and shakes his head. Maybe boredom would be better.

He slumps against the back wall of the hall as he waits for the room to clear out a little (and no, he wan't just purposely loitering around because he wanted avoid Namjoon. Besides, he wasn’t even sure if it _was_ him in class today with his blue shirt and black jeans sat four rows ahead, so there), and drains the remnants of his now cold coffee that Youngjae had given him when he first arrived to class. The kid's a true angel.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to go somewhere after this?” He asks as he heaves his bag onto his shoulder.

Youngjae’s face immediately lights up, “The Green Cafe!” The younger nods. “They have a new bubble-tea I want to try, you in?”

Jaebum runs his tongue over his bottom lip, thinks about the fact that Jackson is probably still in class, and Mark and Jinyoung are probably still making out (or maybe more by now but he doesn't think about things like that if he wants to remain sane) and nods.

“All right,” he mutters. “Let’s go.”

Youngjae cheers.

\--

The Green Cafe is where Jaebum would take all of his dates when he was in High-School. It's a two-story couple’s cafe that doubles up as a library called ‘The Bubble, Bunny and Book’, and is a ten minutes’ walk from the college’s campus.

The last time Jaebum had been there (the last time Jaebum had had an actual _date_ before Jackson) the entire place had been a rustic redbrick and cement structure full of history and pride. But that had all been before someone had spray-painted that they would sue Min Yoongi all over the side, and it needed to be repainted (a very _vibrant_ green).

It’s a cute place, though, if kind of hectic and saccharine. It serves bubble-teas and little bunny-shaped biscuits and to be honest, none of this was really Jaebum's thing, but all the girls he dated thought it was the most adorable place in the world, so he'd been there regularly enough.

(See? He wasn’t always a terrible boyfriend).

Jaebum would've much preferred it if it was a little quieter; a little more cosy, a little more full of every breed of cat known to man (now that would've been purrfect—yes, he’s embarrassed)-- but all in all, it's still a pretty reasonable place to hang out considering he doesn't really have any bad memories from there (well, unless you count the time he had tea thrown in his face for calling his first date 'Jackson', or the time he'd been left with a bill for ninety-thousand Korean Won after he'd fallen asleep listening to his fifth date talking about her ex. But whatever, it is what it is).

Youngjae likes it because it sells big cups of juice and coffee for super cheap prices and to be honest, that's enough for Jaebum at the moment, and so they continue to make their way there.

“So why aren’t you with Jackson-hyung today?” Youngjae asks as he untwists the strap of his bag on his shoulder. Jaebum doesn’t look over.

“Because he’s busy,” he says, “Namjoon-ssi called him out earlier and so he went running over there this morning. I’m not sure what he’s up to now.”

“Oh,” Youngjae says, “But aren’t you two--?”

“Youngjae-ah,” Jaebum sighs, stopping and propping one foot up against the wall to tie his shoelace. He’s still sticking with their promise that they won’t tell anyone that they’re actually dating until they talk properly and hopefully that’ll all happen soon. “If Jackson wants to spend time with other people, he can. He’s not my possession.”

“Mh,” Youngjae says and falls quiet.

They arrive at the cafe a few short minutes later and take a table near the counter. Youngjae immediately orders the new pineapple, mango and secret fruit twist bubble-tea whilst Jaebum just orders another coffee, black, and pulls his laptop out of his bag.

"Have you started your essay yet?" He asks the younger, busying himself with starting up his computer. Youngjae looks up, licks away the fruit juice clinging to his bottom lip (and why doesn't that have the same effect on Jaebum that it does when Jackson does it?).

"Of course!" Youngjae answers. "I'm about four thousand words in and on question four, it shouldn't take much longer."

Jaebum groans and opens up a new word file.

"It's not that bad, hyung," Youngjae says with a smile. "Once you have a starting point it's easy. And besides, you have more than one person working on your song. Mine is a solo project, I just had to write about myself and my family. I didn't work with anyone else."

"But you didn't write a love song," Jaebum frowns.

"Well, no," Youngjae agrees thoughtfully. "But then, I'm not in love."

Jaebum chokes on his coffee.

"Anyway," Youngjae continues, unaffected. "Just skip to questions three and four then go back to two. Once you get the bulk of it done, it'll all come together afterwards."

Jaebum nods, thumps himself in the chest to dislodge the fluid still in his windpipe. He starts to type.

“My inspiration for this song was taken from my everyday life,” He murmurs as he types again. “’Prove it’ is a true to life… thing? And such moments that helped were erm... The sunny days in summer? The moon and stars at night? Jeju Island seafood? Shitty depressing lectures?”

Youngjae snorts as Jaebum turns the screen towards him and looks up at Jaebum with a loud laugh, "I don't think that's deep enough, hyung."

"Perhaps I've just been working on this for too long, but it looks pretty okay to me," Jaebum shrugs. "And I've spelt everything right, too, so I’m halfway there… Although…” he squints critically, turns the laptop back to himself. “Maybe I should get rid of the word 'shitty'."

Youngjae's laugh almost makes Jaebum forget about his worries. Almost.

\--

Youngjae follows Jaebum back to his dorm after they’ve worked on his essay for far longer than he feels he should’ve (which was about the amount of time it took for Youngjae to finish his bubble-tea), and decide to take the bus. 

The drive back is quiet. Jaebum crosses his arms over his chest and rests his head against the window, looks sleepily out of the glass. The city of Seoul flickers by in a flashy squiggle of blurred lights and people against the inky black sky punctured with white-light stars. Jaebum relaxes into the hush of it, the pleasant splattering start of rain against the bus windows, the comfortable hazy heaviness in the air.

The dorm too, is pleasantly warm when he steps inside and slips his shoes off, removes his coat; he hears the rowdy laughter of the maknae’s coming from his front room and he rolls his eyes, having completely forgotten about ‘Friday Night is Game Night’ and wondering when he’ll ever get a minutes peace as Youngjae lopes past him to join them.

“Youngjae-hyung!” He hears the others cheer and he takes that moment to try and sneak past to his room. He pads his way across the wooden floors and to his bedroom and he just steps inside when he feels a hand wrap around his wrist. He turns around.

Jackson is stood before him, eyes gentle again and a smile curving his mouth. His shoes are gone so he's quite a bit shorter and he moves closer he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth shyly, worries it between his teeth. He only releases it once it's flushed a cherry red.

"Jaebum-hyung," he murmurs softly.

Jaebum swallows so heavily he's sure the rest of the boys must've heard it from the other room but there’s no drop in noise or shout of his name. Jackson's certainly heard it if the way his eyes fall to Jaebum's Adam's apple is anything to go by, but neither of them say anything yet.

Jackson shifts, looks away, then looks back.

"You said you’ve been wanting to talk to me about something?" He asks. "Something with us? Are you... Is it because you're mad I went to see Joon-ah this morning?"

Jaebum clears his throat, steps closer.

"I was a bit upset," he says quietly because honesty is the best policy. "But I wasn't mad. I trust you wholeheartedly, Jackson-ah, I know you wouldn’t do anything with him, but… You’re right. I do have to talk to you."

Jackson nods, rocks on his heels a little.

The air is growing thick again, soupy, and Jaebum is just about to pull back a little so he can actually _breathe_ when Jackson rises up onto his tip-toes and presses his lips to Jaebum's in a careful, closed-mouth kiss.

It’s nothing like any of the other kisses they've shared.

This one is chaste and light; sweet. It lacks the usual lust behind it all, the provocative curl of Jackson’s wet tongue in his mouth, the hands down his shorts, but holy _heck_ , it's the most _perfect_ kiss he's ever received. When they finally separate, Jaebum feels  _winded_.

“Jaebum-hyung,” Jackson begins. “Whatever it is you have to say, just say it. If there's something happening; something that maybe I’ve done, then we have to talk about it, right? I love you, I want to make this work.”

Jaebum opens his mouth but a cry of, “Jackson-ah!” suddenly echoes from the other room. Jackson’s eyes search Jaebum’s for a while before he takes a step back, lets the serious look drop from his face to allow a half-smirk to tilt his mouth.

“That’s _hyung_ to you, you little shit!” He calls back and there’s raucous laughter from the others.

Yugyeom comes in just then, giggling as he wraps his arms around Jackson’s shoulders. The maknae nestles his face into the Jackson’s neck, nuzzles against the warm skin and when he raises his head and meets Jaebum’s eyes, he smiles in surprise.

“Oh, hey, hyung,” he beams. “What were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing,” Jaebum says, but the words feel heavy on his tongue. “Just saying hello.”

He doesn’t look at Jackson but he can feel his gaze on him still and so he steps fully away, busies himself with pulling his sweater off over his head and milling about.

“Oh,” Yugyeom answers softly. “Well in that case, Jackson-hyung promised he’d play PS4 with us tonight. Are you coming, too?”

Jaebum looks up to meet Jackson's eyes. He strokes a hand through his hair, "no," he says. “I’m busy tonight. I er... Won’t be here.”

“Where are you going?" Jackson asks but BamBam suddenly appears from behind Yugyeom, a pout marring his full mouth.

"Hyuuuung!" He sulks. "Tell Youngjae-hyung that you're on my team, not his!"

"Hey! Shut up!" Yugyeom hisses back, hitting the Thai boy. "We're having a serious conversation here!"

"Ooh!" BamBam's outrage is replaced with intrigue, "Is it a secret? What's it about?"

" _Nothing!_ " Jaebum reiterates. "I'm just going out to finish my essay and--"

"That's not serious!" BamBam looks disappointed. "That's not even interesting!"

Jackson rolls his eyes, tries to unlock Yugyeom's arms from around his shoulders, "should I come and help?"

"No way!" Yugyeom squeezes his elder tighter. "You're on my team tonight!"

"No he's not--!"

"All right!" Jaebum finally roars. "That's it! All of you! Out! Now!"

Silence fills the space of the dorm for what feels like hours before Youngjae's voice suddenly comes from the front room,"I'm one out!"

Jaebum groans at the hysterical scuffle that follows as BamBam and Yugyeom fight to get out of the door, Yugyeom still wrapped around Jackson. 

"Two out!" BamBam manages to zip out of the room first in victory and Yugyeom pouts, buries his nose back into Jackson's nape. Jackson sighs, strokes a hand over the youngest's forearm.

"I'll see you later then, hyung?" He gives in.

Jaebum nods. He relocates his bag (because he might as well continue with his work whilst he’s gone) and hikes it back over his shoulder. He takes a step forwards and Jackson reaches out to touch his cheek, fingertips just brushing his jaw when Jaebum notices Yugyeom's judging eyes peeking over Jackson's shoulder. He bats away the Hong-Kong native's hand, feeling his stomach dip when Jackson frowns.

“Tomorrow,” Jaebum says instead and darts away. He slides his shoes on in record time and slams the door shut behind him as he makes his way to 24/7 restaurant a mere five minutes’ walk from his dorm that sells not-too-terrible hot drinks.

He’s exhausted now but hopefully, by the time he gets back to the dorm, everyone will already be asleep and he won’t have to deal with anything until the morning. He settles himself into a booth seat with his coffee and pulls out his books. He sets his laptop up and connects to the Wi-Fi as he opens up his essay. He cracks his knuckles, prepares himself for the long-haul.

_Question 2: What inspired/influenced you in the creation of your song?_

...

...

...Damn everything to hell.

\--

So, yeah, it seems like Jaebum's being avoided.

It's not often that people fall over themselves trying to get away from him, but Jaebum recognises the evasion for what it is, and honestly, he's fine with it. Completely and _totally_ fine.

Because come on, now. Why would he be upset? It's not like him and Jackson sorted out their years of not-a-relationship-sort-of-a-relationship and are finally now together. Pfft.

And it's not like Jackson had pressed a soft whisper of a kiss (an actual chaste kiss that felt like liquid _gold_ ) to his lips and told him that he loved him too, before he’d been dragged away by the maknae's to play games.

And it’s not like after they'd made a promise to talk today; Jaebum had arrived home at nearly four that morning and found Jackson and Yugyeom curled up on _his_ front room floor together like _lovers_ \-- Jackson’s face pressed into Yugyeom’s chest and the younger’s arms secured around Jackson’s middle. _No!_

And it's not like-- Actually, you know what? He's tired of this shit. It _was_ like that. It _is_ like that. And yes, he _is_ upset. And yes, he _is_ angry. But mainly he's upset. But mostly he's angry. But overall, he's just ugh!

Jackson isn't really one to avoid a situation no matter how uncomfortable it is. He's always there to let everyone know how he's feeling; the first to break the tension and the first to settle everything into a reasonable degree of discussion for everyone else. And so for Jackson to be ignoring Jaebum-- like, just point blank walking past him and falling into Yugyeom's arms _again_ like Jaebum wasn't even standing there in his most revealing sleepwear this morning, it just kind of... _Hurts_.

Because come on! They’re _boyfriends_! And so maybe their relationship wasn’t as out and proud as they would’ve really liked, but they were getting to that. And what they had anyway was still _really_ nice. It was warm and sweet and tender, it was meaningful! And if Jaebum ever uses those four words all in the same sentence again, you definitely know he needs help.

But it was good ( _soooo_ good) and if Jackson hadn't happened to catch Jaebum whilst he was so off-guard and exhausted, so surrounded by nosy, interrupting maknaes, he'd have definitely have maybe perhaps sort of spilled his guts about his parents there and then. (Did he say maybe?)

And so after he had been so thoroughly rejected (because a fucking _hello_ would’ve been nice, it wasn’t like he was asking for a morning _striptease_ or anything… Although that would’ve been good, too, now he thinks about it...), Jaebum had just taken it all into his stride. He’d showered with leisure, eaten his breakfast with gusto, and then gone willingly when Youngjae invited him to study at the library together.

He had stormed through the majority of his assignment once he'd gotten there, barely hearing a word of anything Youngjae had said to him, even though the younger hadn’t stopped talking. He’d read over his notes in great detail, completed the third and fourth questions of his essay with extra precision and zeal, and had kept quiet for the miserable librarian for the entire four hours of hell.

He'd turned down Youngjae's invitation out, too, because he really wasn’t in the mood for going out now, and had settled with walking back through the fucking snow (because _of course_ it was snowing now) and towards his dorm alone. He was cold, miserable and hurt all at the same time. And now, as he'd arrived home, dragged off his soaking outerwear and gone into the kitchen, he couldn’t help but become even madder than he already was before.

Because Jackson is in Jaebum's kitchen-- just _sitting there_ and not even acknowledging that Jaebum is now standing two feet away and dripping wet. Jackson's just relaxing, eating a fucking tub of ice cream, and talking to BamBam like his boyfriend isn’t just standing there ready to _snap_.

The two youngsters seem to be in their own world as they converse, BamBam giggling whilst Jackson whispers before the Chinese boy reaches out to pull on BamBam's chin, to tug him closer and run his index knuckle over a dab of cream at the corner of BamBam's mouth. By the time he brings it to his own mouth to lick it away, Jaebum's already beginning his countdown into flipping the fuck out in 5, 4, 3, 2--

"Jackson-ah," he manages to grind out. "Can we talk?"

Jackson spins around, eyes wide and mouth open like a fish, “me?” he points to himself.

BamBam snickers and Jaebum suddenly wants to strangle Jackson where he sits because really now, how many other Jackson's are there? But he's so done with all of this bullshit; he just nods and purses his mouth. Jackson shifts where he’s sat and lets out a weak laugh.

"Ah, sorry, Jaebum-hyung," he slowly begins, sliding out of his seat. "I've er... Actually got things to do today. Big plans, _work_ ; I was also thinking about digging my way to Peru, so I'll bring you back something nice when I return."

He tries to slip past at the last second but Jaebum grabs him roughly around the waist and pulls him against his side. Jackson lets out a helpless squeak but realises that escape is futile and eventually slumps in Jaebum's grasp. Jaebum wants to say that this feels like a victory, but the fact that Jackson is _still_ trying to run away just makes him even more agitated.

Yugyeom walks in then, yawning and stretching and offers a warm smile to the others. "Morning, hyungs," he murmurs, voice soft, sleepy. "Why's everyone standing around in the kitchen?"

And Jaebum wants to tell him that it isn't the morning, it’s the _afternoon_. And whilst Jaebum’s just spent the last half a day _trying not to die_ , everyone else apparently spent the Saturday morning _sleeping in,_ and so now Jaebum has every right to stand around in _his own_ fucking kitchen if he really wants to! But he stays quiet instead. He tugs Jackson away with a vice-like grip around the other’s forearm without saying a word, and ignoring the murmurs of "rude!" from the others-- because he really couldn't give two shits about what anyone else is thinking right now-- he just continues on his way.

Jackson is surprisingly malleable and so it doesn't take much for Jaebum to push him through the door and slam it shut behind them. When he turns around, Jackson is watching Jaebum from three steps away, his expression a cross between wariness and disinterest.

"Why are you doing this?" Jaebum exhales.

He's actually pretty proud of himself for remaining so calm. In fact, he thinks he should be rewarded with an award for how calm he's being. A calmness award. That, and everyone should start calling him Mr. Calm, the calmest of all calm people.

He's _calm_.

"Me?!” Jackson starts before he shrugs it off, slumps casually against the wall, checks his nails, “I mean, uh… Doing what?"

Jaebum narrows his eyes.

"This!" He finally snaps-- and let’s be honest here, it didn't take very long. "This, this touching! This touching of everyone! We’re supposed to be together and you’re just… Going around and kissing Yugyeom-ah or whatever is you do."

The wide-eyed innocence disappears from Jackson's face in a flash and an offended look takes over his features in its stead. "Are you being serious, right now?" He steps forward. "Do you really just think I go around kissing everyone, hyung?"

"Well," Jaebum mutters because, yes, yes that is exactly what he thinks. "It has kind of happened before."

"That was totally different!" Jackson's back to his loud self. "It was a _joke_! And that kiss happened days ago! I just missed Yugyeom's cheek, is all, and okay, yeah, there was that one time with Honey but that was really just--"

Jaebum's striding over before Jackson can finish his sentence and as the younger's eyes widen, Jaebum crushes Jackson against the wall and closes the distance between their mouths. Jackson whimpers when their teeth knock, hands like claws on Jaebum’s shoulders and Jaebum’s ears ring from the abrupt silence, surprising himself with the force of his actions.

He immediately gentles the kiss when he realises; Jackson's mouth so plush and soft beneath his own, lips damp from the constant licking that they deserve to be adored instead of punished. Jaebum's tongue nudges at the seam of those perfect lips and Jackson's own tongue is sweet from his dessert; slick and hot as it slides over Jaebum’s own. Everything is so familiar and yet at the same time, it's not. There's something different now. Something even more incredible than before and Jaebum feels himself sinking deeper, losing himself--

"Wait," Jaebum wrenches away suddenly, leaving a dazed Chinese boy swooning before him. "Did you just say you kissed _Honey_? As in Jooheon-ssi, _your boss_ , Honey?"

Jackson blinks then whines, mutters, "forget about him," and pulls Jaebum back towards him again desperately.

This kiss that they share is more careful, more loving. It’s more of a happy medium between the one from last night and the one from ten seconds ago (Jaebum distracting himself with thinking about how soft Jackson’s lips are, because he forgot how much it riles him up to no end that Jackson still calls Jooheon ‘Honey’ but he can finally admit it now).

He lets his hands slide down from the shorter boy’s shoulders to his waist, Jackson's own hands moving up to cradle the back of Jaebum's neck, his tongue teasing playfully at the tip of Jaebum’s own. Jaebum nudges Jackson away from the wall, and the younger grips him closer, breaking the kiss as his eyes widen briefly but then he must feel the edge of the bed at the back of his knees, because he relaxes.

He sits down and shuffles backwards, lays himself out across Jaebum’s mattress like an oasis in the desert and Jaebum is suddenly so, _so_ parched. Jaebum crawls up afterwards, rolling his eyes at the infantile giggle Jackson puffs out and settles himself between the other’s legs, instantly connecting their mouths again.

Eventually, they part once more, and Jackson's expression softens a little as he leans back into the pillows, rubs his thumb over Jaebum's jaw with so much affection Jaebum feels his eyes burn. Jackson is gorgeous like this, sparkly-eyed, kiss-bruised mouth and Jaebum just speaks before he can think.

“I'm sorry,” He whispers. “I’ve been in love with you for what feels like forever and I’ve just been acting like a monumental dick because I am one, apparently.”

Jackson giggles.

"I did want to talk to you but then they all came in, but then this morning you..." Jaebum swallows, looks away. "Why _did_ you...?" Jaebum's words trail off again because 'run away and not look at me' sounds too childish no matter how truthful it is. Jackson sighs, brushes the hair from Jaebum’s forehead.

"We’ve been through a lot of stuff, hyung,” he says blankly, “in the beginning you kept telling me over and over again that you didn’t want a relationship, and then all of a sudden you just confessed out of nowhere. I assumed that either the pressure of everyone telling us we should be together had finally gotten to you, or after hearing about Yugyeom, you had assumed that we wouldn't have our friends-with-benefits relationship anymore, and you just did it to keep me." He finally answers. "But then when you knocked my hand away last night and... I thought maybe you did really want me, but maybe you just didn't want anyone to know we were together. And so I just gave you your space."

Jaebum ducks his head, smiles at the kiss the other presses against his brow. “I'm so sorry for making you doubt anything, Jackson-ah,” Jaebum says embarrassed. "I would love if everyone knew that you finally belonged to me, but I just..." He takes a deep breath, exhales. It's now or never. “My Eomma, she… She wasn’t happy when she found out about us. She made me promise that I would give up my future in exchange for the payment of my college tuition and when I say it all back now, it just sounds so stupid.”

Confusion washes over Jackson's face, “your Eomma…?” he starts but Jaebum licks his lips and sits up onto his knees, trails his hands over Jackson’s thighs, his knees.

“They didn’t want me to study music,” he starts quietly as Jackson leverages himself up against the pillows. “You remember, they wanted me to become a Pharmacist or something, something that they could be proud to tell the rest of the family about and I, well, I rebelled.”

Jackson nods.

“They finally gave in when they realised that I couldn’t even go to college if I wanted to because I couldn’t get the funds for it,” he rolls his eyes. “They wouldn’t help pay for my course if it was something as stupid as Music, and they wouldn’t help me by signing for a loan either, unless… Unless I gave up you.”

Jackson’s eyes widen, “what?”

“They found out about us being together and they made me promise that I wouldn’t pursue a relationship with you,” Jaebum continues. “I could go to college and study whatever I wanted but as soon as I graduated, I would have to go back to them. I would have to go back so they could find me a wife or something, and so there would be no point in establishing a relationship with you, because we would never have a future anyway.”

“And is that something you want now?” Jackson asks carefully, “A… A wife?”

“Haven’t you been listening?” Jaebum snorts good-naturedly. “I want you! Fuck them! Fuck all of them! It’s taken me years to come to terms with it but Jinyoung’s right, they don’t rule me anymore. They’ve already paid my tuition, they don’t care about my happiness. There’s nothing they can do to bribe me anymore. They can’t keep me away from you.”

“So what were you going to do before this?” Jackson asks quietly. “Were you just going to leave after graduation? Just tell me that, ‘oh yeah, I know we’ve been screwing for the last few years but I _really_ did mean it when I said I didn’t want anything to happen between us, and now I’m off to find a woman?’”

“I could never handle the thought of losing you,” Jaebum says determinedly. He leans down to trap Jackson where he is, to look into his eyes. “In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t been able to stop seeing you even  _now_ countless years later, so what makes you think I would’ve ever be able to leave?" He looks away, "And well… _Maybe_ I wasn’t sure if you even felt the same way. You’re always all over everyone, Jackson-ah, even if it is just joking around. Jinyoungie… Yugyeom-ah… Namjoon-ssi… I thought I was just a stress-reliever or something. I didn’t think I meant _something_ to you.”

“And you still came back?” Jackson asks softly, expression softening, “Oh, hyung, I--” he murmurs affectionately. “I thought you knew that you were different. I just didn’t think that you wanted to acknowledge that I’ve been in love with you for so many years, too.”

Jaebum’s aware that he’s looking down at Jackson with an expression so fond he’d probably be disgusted if he saw the look on anyone else, but he can’t help himself. He leans down again and nuzzles his nose into Jackson’s warm cheek, almost slumping in relief when Jackson’s arms pull him closer. How can one person be so forgiving? So kind? He sinks into the embrace, relishing the intimate contact with the other when a careful knock at his door interrupts the two.

Jaebum pulls back an inch, more than a little disgruntled that he now has what he wants but has to wait again. He glares over his shoulder savagely as the door creaks open just the slightest bit, and Jinyoung and the two maknaes pop their heads around it, expressions wholesome.

“Hey!” Jackson beams, sitting up a little from where he’s still trapped beneath Jaebum’s weight, “how was last night, huh? I noticed Mark sneaking into your room at about midnight and this is the first time we've seen you!” he chuckles but Jinyoung just continues to look at Jaebum.

"Is everything all right in here?" He asks politely.

Jaebum grunts, tries to shield away as much of Jackson as he can from prying eyes, "go away," he snaps.

“Oh, thank God, it’s about time!” Jinyoung shouts back and there are several giggling sounds from the maknaes before the door slams closed again. Jaebum looks back down at Jackson, his mouth still turned-down at the interruption.

Jackson wriggles delightedly, "My possessive hyung, so sweet!”

Jaebum tries to hide a smile in reply.

“So what do we do now?” Jackson asks after a while. “You can’t just never speak to your parents again, hyung. Have you seriously thought about this? Am I really worth it all?”

Jaebum looks down into doe-like brown eyes, into the eyes of the boy he loves, into the eyes of his _future_ and he swallows hard.

“Yes,” he whispers softly and Jackson sniffles, the younger yanking Jaebum down again to bury his face into his throat. Jaebum scoops up the younger into his own arms, squeezes him so close that he feels him start to wheeze. It’s ironic that even as he can feel Jackson’s tears seeping through the material of his own shirt, Jaebum’s also sure that this is _the_ happiest moment of his entire life. "And no more sleeping in Yugyeom's arms."

"If only I can sleep in yours," Jackson replies playfully. Jaebum kisses him again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAYYYY!!! Thank you for reading! <333! Only about two more chapters left now! (Depending on how much I manage to edit out again). Haha.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to get this one out as quickly as possible! Thank you everyone for all of your support and comments and kudos still!! <3!

** EIGHT **

Jaebum is eternally thankful when he arrives to class on Monday morning and finds Youngjae already there, half-asleep and cradling a cup of coffee, but still managing to save him a seat. He smiles gratefully as slides into his chair and looks to the front to listen to the droning professor. It isn't long before he feels Youngjae's judgemental gaze on his neck and he presses a palm over where he knows the worst of the marks are.

"I know, I know," Jaebum rolls his eyes when the lecturer trails off. "Jackson-ah got a little... _Territorial_ in the shower this morning. He didn't want anyone hitting on me in class."

"And he says he doesn’t get jealous," Youngjae laughs, nose wrinkling. "Well, I have to give it to him hyung, I definitely think it’s working. Everybody is _way_ too embarrassed to even look at you now," he pokes at a particularly purple bruise between Jaebum’s fingers. "Does it hurt?"

"Not really," Jaebum shrugs the other boy off, pulls Youngjae's notebook closer so he can compare (read as _steal_ ) notes. "And anyway, he was complaining about us both being so busy that we won’t be able to see each other until Friday, so I just let him do whatever he wanted."

Jaebum doesn't mention that he was _also_ allowed to do whatever he wanted, too, and that Jackson is most definitely sporting a few hickeys himself, but his are just in places that wouldn't be seen by the public eye. Because honestly, just because Jaebum and Jackson had decided to hold out on the intimacy of their relationship for just a while until they become more accustomed to dating _properly;_ it doesn't mean that Jaebum is unable to make Jackson still _writhe_ in pleasure.

“So…” Youngjae’s tone is cautious now. “Does that mean that you two are… Um…?”

Jaebum sighs, feeling a little bashful and hunches over his book more, “Yes, Youngjae-ah,” he murmurs and God he’s so _soft_ , he can’t even stop himself from smiling. “Me and Jackson-ah are actually dating now.”

He looks down the stands at the back of Namjoon and Yoongi’s heads and he wonders if they know. Wonders if they realise that _Im Jaebum_ is finally dating _Jackson Wang_  now and he has the war-scars (i.e. love-bites) to prove it.

“Oh my God!” Youngjae looks elated. “Congratulations, hyung! I don’t know what to say.”

“Thanks,” Jaebum murmurs, and why is he going red? He has no reason to go red. Ahem.

“It took you long enough, though,” Youngjae teases, as he takes his book back when Jaebum’s managed to calm himself down and finish copying his notes, but he looks back at Jaebum again a second later, tilts his head when Jaebum looks at him, "What's happening Friday?" he looks quizzical. Jaebum gives him a blank look.

"Friday Night is Game Night?" He voices the terribly uncreative slogan BamBam came up with  several months ago, when Friday nights did actually start become game nights. "You and the boys played PS4 last Friday, remember? Well, this week it’s Jinyoungie's turn to choose, so that means we're either playing poker… Or well, watching each other play solitaire. Jinyoungie doesn’t really know that many games now that I think about it..."

"Well he did suggest strip-poker once,” Youngjae wrinkles his nose. Jaebum was thankful he’d had the flu that night and didn’t join, although he did still hear some wild stories about that night. "Although that was _definitely_ just all a conspiracy to see Mark-hyung get naked. Ah well, I’ll just bring the beer this time.”

Jaebum agrees, thanks the lecturer as he passes by Jaebum and hands him the most recent draft of his essay back, a huge question-mark in the space beneath question two.

“But you know hyung,” Youngjae begins when Jaebum looks up at him again, “you _could_ just go and see Jackson after work today and take him out to eat or something. You don’t _actually_ have to bite the heck out of each other so that neither of you will get hit on when you’re alone?"

Jaebum smiles, pats his friend's hand. "You're a good friend, Youngjae-ah," he says.

Youngjae blinks at him then laughs, open-mouthed, loud and joyful.

\--

The tiny antique bookstore is musty and warm when Jaebum walks in; the smell of paper and dust invading his senses as he makes his way to the counter to find Jackson sat atop it once again, a box of strawberries balanced precariously on one thigh this time, his hands flailing around wildly as he’s caught mid-story.

"And this guy just keeps coming over to the gym every few months when I’m doing my Fencing tournaments now," he says, bites into one of the red fruits and offers one to Jooheon who declines, "telling me how he saw Mark-hyung dancing at the club six months ago, and how he hasn’t been able to get him out of his head."

“It sounds like he likes you instead,” Jooheon laughs, finally accepts the other half of the strawberry that Jackson pushes into his mouth. “Is this the guy that gave you his number?” He asks.

"No," Jackson wrinkles his nose, licks juice from the inside of his wrist. “He just told me to follow him on twitter, said I should contact him when Mark-hyung turns eighteen because I lied and said he was still a minor.”

Jooheon makes a face.

Jaebum clears his throat.

"Holy shit!" Jackson jumps nearly a foot in the air. He spins around, knocking the box sideways with a yelp and Jooheon dives after it, catching it against his chest with a grunt.

" _Hyuuung_!" Jackson wails. "What are you doing? How long have you been here?"

"A couple of seconds," Jaebum shrugs, draws his bottom lip into his mouth. "Did I come at a bad time?"

"Oh no, of course not," Jackson wipes his hands on his thighs and slides down off the counter. He makes his way around to Jaebum and pulls him down by the back of his neck, tiptoes a little so he can kiss him hungrily. Jaebum would pull away because they’re in the middle of a _public bookstore_ but he hums and steps closer instead, rests his hands on Jackson's waist-- _Jackson tastes like strawberries_.

Jooheon makes a noise from behind them and Jackson finally pulls back but stays in Jaebum’s arms. When he turns around Jooheon is staring at the both of them with a slack mouth, and Jaebum would say something but his head feels a little… dazed now.

“Oh yeah!” Jackson clasps his hand over mouth. “I forgot to tell you, Honey; me and Jaebummie-hyung are dating now.”

"You'd think that would be something you'd remember," Jaebum grumbles a little put out.

Jooheon narrows his eyes, "actually properly dating?" he asks suspiciously. "As in like, going-out-to-places-and-keeping-your-clothes-on dating?"

Jackson snorts, gives Jaebum a fond look as the elder makes a pained noise.

“Wow,” Jooheon nods, looking impressed. He looks to Jaebum, casually bites into a strawberry. “You know he’s been pining after you for years, right?”

“Honey!” Jackson pouts, turns back at Jaebum. “Anyway! What was it you wanted, hyung?” He smiles. “Did you come to rescue me from my--,” he shoots Jooheon a dirty look over his shoulder, “--wicked boss?”

Jaebum quirks a half-smile.

“Actually I just finished my lectures and wanted to know if you were hungry?” Jaebum replies. He casts a quick look over to the counter to make sure that Jooheon is now fully engrossed in his strawberry eating and leans down to peck Jackson's lips again. “I haven’t eaten since this morning. _Mm, you taste so good_.”

“Hyung,” Jackson breathes, traces the tip of his tongue over Jaebum’s top lip and then whimpers softly when Jaebum's mouth opens for him.

“As happy as I am for the two of you, if you don’t get out of here in ten seconds, I’m calling the police," Jooheon teases, mouth full of fruit.

"But I haven't seen him in hours!" Jackson protests.

Jooheon reaches into his pocket, pulls out his phone and jokingly puts it to his ear, "hello?" He says. "Police?"

"Okay, okay, we're going!" Jackson laughs running to the back to grab his coat. He lifts Jooheon into an uncomfortable, spinning hug when he passes him again and then twines his fingers through Jaebum's, pulling him to the door once he returns to the eldest. "Thank you for letting me out early, Honey! I'll see you soon! Love you, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah, get out," Jooheon calls back, a smile in his words.

Jaebum lets Jackson drag him along, eagerly following behind. He’s finding it hard to feel jealous at the exchange between the two friends as he traipses after his boyfriend (and especially when he gets to leave with his Jackson, whose lips and tongue still tastes of strawberries. Jackson will be the death of him).

\--

Jaebum had never thought that spending the evening eating three bowls of seafood stew, sharing soft kisses and touches with Jackson Wang, and watching YouTube videos on his laptop could make him feel so euphoric he was worried he may float away.

He knows that they made a promise that they wouldn’t do anything more than just kissing and snuggling (and they may have already broken that rule in the shower that morning, but love-bites don’t really count-- even if they are in some very… Intimate places) but it’s getting harder and harder to resist when the younger _won’t-stop-squirming_ in Jaebum’s lap.

Before the eldest can help himself, he’s already closing the laptop on the still playing video, muffling Jackson’s protests with his own mouth, and pulling the younger up until he straddles his lap. For a while now, there’s been one thing that’s been on Jaebum’s mind, something that he’s seen before but hadn’t felt like he's been allowed to ask for, and now that they’re together properly, well...

"Are you sure?" Jackson asks, tilting his head to the side. "You know I was only joking when I said I was teaching Jinyoungie how to lap-dance, don’t you? I was only really doing it to try to get your attention."

"Well it worked," Jaebum growls back. He curves his hands around Jackson's thighs and leans back against the headboard of the bed. "You looked so incredible that night, so sexy. I was ridiculously jealous of Jinyoungie. I almost went crazy.”

“You kind of still did,” Jackson purrs back in amusement, dipping his head and nipping at an exposed collarbone. Jaebum lets his head fall back with a groan, ignores Jackson’s smart words.

“No, stop, wait,” Jaebum murmurs softly as he pushes the younger back lightly when Jackson tries to pull off his shirt. He presses a soft kiss to Jackson’s lips to quell the worry that flickers over the younger’s face, and runs his hands over Jackson’s waist, nuzzles into his pulse, “go and get your snapback first," he whispers.

Jackson lets out a huff of laughter. He lifts himself out of Jaebum’s lap quickly, and grabs his hat from where he'd hung it on the back of a chair when they'd first walked into the room. He makes his way over to the set of nifty speakers all the boy’s had pulled together for to get Jaebum for his birthday, and fiddles with his phone, bends down to plug it into the stereo as he looks through his playlists.

"Should we put on some music, too? What song?"

"Prove it," Jaebum answers immediately and Jackson laughs, looks over his shoulder and arches an eyebrow at the other gleefully.

"The song you _didn't_ write for me?" He grins.

Jaebum looks away because whatever. What is this? A police interrogation?

Jackson clicks on the song and scoops up the snapback again to tug onto his head as the music starts to play. He pulls the peak down over his eyes and sways his way over to Jaebum, and if the older boy wasn't _so_ turned on by now, he'd have probably rolled his eyes and laughed and Jackson's extra-ness.

Jaebum immediately reaches out to help as Jackson swings a leg over both of his and sinks into his lap. Jaebum’s hands once again clasping desperately onto those incredible thighs, squeezing flesh and muscle;  _owning_ it.

There's a flash of slick tongue curling behind white teeth and pink lips, and Jackson slides his hands over Jaebum's broad shoulders, "do you want me, Jaebummie-hyung?" Jackson breathes from inches away. Jaebum's mouth goes dry. _What kind of question is_ …?

He tugs Jackson closer by the back of his neck, tilts his head to the side so he doesn't get speared by the peak of the hat, and slides his mouth over the others with a groan. He licks his way gently between soft parted lips, trying to keep everything slow; wanting Jackson to find his kisses as addictive, as _drugging_ as he finds the younger’s. The need to flip Jackson underneath him is growing over time but he wants _this_ more, so he finally pulls back, now almost delirious with want. Jackson rolls his hips, begins to get into it _properly_ now, when the door suddenly swings open.

The overhead light clicks on, the noise from outside overtakes the music and _BamBam_ comes walking in; completely topless.

“Hey,” BamBam makes his way over to the closet, “I just need a shirt for work again and-- what the hell! Ewww!" The Thai boy cries out as he catches sight of them. He spins around, tripping over in his haste to leave, and ends up hitting the floor like a sack of bricks with nothing but a squeak escaping his lips.

Jaebum feels the corner of his mouth curl up because slapstick comedy isn't his favourite, but what the hell was that? Is this boy being serious right now? It also doesn't help that Jackson seems to be near tears in his lap as his high-pitched giggles ring through the air; any and all sensual feelings dissolving like cotton candy in water.

"Oh, shit, Bam," Jackson continues to chuckle, struggling to slip out of Jaebum's lap. "Are you okay?"

BamBam makes a noise like he's suffocating and Jackson finally makes his way over, helping to wrench BamBam’s slim body from the floor.

Jaebum can't help but feel kind of offended at the younger's cries of 'traumatised!' when this is in fact _Jaebum's_ room, and _he's_ the one who's been subjected to seeing BamBam without a shirt on in it. Not to mention that this all happened whilst he was supposed to be having his _special-Jackson-time_. The younger will pay.

He leans back into the pillows and closes his eyes instead, scrubs a hand through his hair and sighs when the music clicks off and the bed dips beside him, a soft laugh filling the silence. "Sorry," Jackson murmurs, lips soft against Jaebum's earlobe and the older bites his bottom lip. Jackson presses light kisses along the edge of his ear, teeth teasing the piercing in his cartilage as his hand rubs over Jaebum’s chest.

Jaebum opens his eyes with a breathy sigh, rolls onto his side, “it’s not your fault.”

Jackson snickers as he lies down, squeezing Jaebum's side affectionately when he lays his head against the eldest’s shoulder. Jaebum hums in contentment, buries his nose into Jackson’s hair.

"Of all the things to turn me off, I never imagined that a topless Baby Bam would be so high on that list," Jackson sighs.

Jaebum folds his arms around the other, says gruffly, "he's a special guy." Jackson laughs and kisses his chin.

"Well," Jackson says quietly and he looks up into dark eyes when Jaebum looks over at him, uses the tip of his tongue to tease gently at Jaebum's bottom lip. "At least he knows that we're busy _now_ , right?"

Jaebum snorts quietly and pulls Jackson back to him. He rolls him over so he's beneath Jaebum this time, and slots himself between the other's legs. Jaebum kisses Jackson's forehead, his nose, his cheeks and lingers a hairsbreadth away from his mouth as their hands join, fingers entangling.

"We're supposed to be waiting. You're such a bad influence on me," he whispers. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

"That’s _wild and sexy_ to you, hyung," Jackson purrs with a cheeky grin (and if Yugyeom happens to walk in five minutes later, muttering about how BamBam sent him in to get a shirt and ends up leaving just as abruptly as the Thai boy did whilst shielding his eyes-- BamBam rolling around on the floor outside with laughter-- well, it wouldn't be the first maknae that they've corrupted all day).

\--

The next few months progress well. Jaebum spends most of his time adding the final touches to his track, trying to keep Jackson out of the recording studio (because it’s impossible to work with him in there) and being teased relentlessly by the others for taking so long to get to this point.

Actually dating Jackson is surprisingly (not surprisingly) not that different from when they weren’t together. He’s still his loud, overly-affectionate, _loveable_ self, but now Jaebum’s just allowed to tell him that. They go on dates to restaurants, amusement parks (although that’s more Jaebum’s thing because Jackson just holds the bags and cheers from the ground when it’s roller-coaster time), and even to concerts.

They waste all their money on beer and white wine and take-outs, and Jaebum just buys absolutely _anything_ that Jackson’s eyes settle on for more than five seconds (even if Jackson doesn’t specifically ask for it) because the ‘ _thank you_ ’s’ are more than worth it afterwards-- and maybe because he’s weak as hell when it comes to Jackson, too, but nobody needs to know that.

(He likes to think they don’t all know already. Bless him).

“This was the best day ever,” Jackson bounces where he’s stood. They’re stood outside of Jackson’s work, Jaebum dropping him off before he goes back to his dorm to rest because Jackson manages to sap all of his energy, wherever the two may be. “We went to the _movies_ , you bought me a new _snapback_ , you bought me a new beaded _necklace_ , seriously, man; where has Sweetbummie-hyung been hiding all this time?”

“It’s really nothing,” Jaebum says casually, trying to maintain his manly aura. “You said you wanted to watch that movie and you wanted to go shopping, I just thought I’d tag along.”

“Uh huh,” Jackson smiles knowingly. “Well the least you can do is let me give you something in return, right?”

Jaebum arches an eyebrow in intrigue and because he can never say no to Jackson, he follows him inside the bookstore. It’s just as decrepit and dusty as usual, but Jaebum feels a sense of homeliness when he walks in now knowing this is where Jackson spends so much of his time. Jooheon comes out of the back when he hears the bell ring above the door but just waves his hand in greeting when he sees Jackson.

“Watch the front, yeah, Jackson-ah?” He calls as he goes into the back again. “I’m on the phone.”

“Sure, thing,” Jackson calls back before he laces his hand with Jaebum’s now they’re not out in the street anymore, and pulls him closer to the counter. “Wait here,” he holds up his hands to stop Jaebum from going any further, and the elder stumbles to a halt as Jackson darts around the counter and ducks down behind it.

“If this is that _Worldwide Sausage Competition_ book you keep trying to give me, I don’t want it,” he says and Jackson’s laughter floats up from somewhere to his left. He looks over, seeing nothing but the new snapback and Jackson’s eyes peeking over the counter but even from that, Jaebum can tell he’s grinning.

“Are you ready, hyung?” Jackson asks and Jaebum sighs, prays to every known deity that Jackson didn’t strip off or something behind there because they’ve _already_ been caught half-naked by Jooheon in the back-room too many times, but he nods.

“Okay, well, surprise!” Jackson crows as he stands, and Jaebum blinks at the red and yellow lava lamp in his hands, lava-ing away (or whatever it is that they do) as Jackson jiggles excitedly, waves the lamp from side to side.

“You got me a lamp?” Jaebum raises both eyebrows and Jackson rolls his eyes.

“I got you a _lava_ lamp,” he corrects as he places it down on the counter. His eyes go wide as he ducks to look at it up close, mouth parting in awe, “so cool.”

“Isn’t that the same lamp that’s been on the side over there for like… Ten thousand years?” Jaebum snorts. He runs the pad of his index finger over the glass and flicks away the dust that accumulates.

Jackson pouts but Jaebum notices he didn’t exactly answer his question. “How ungrateful,” he mutters instead.

Jaebum snorts and ducks down too, until he can see Jackson through the grimy glass and ‘lava’ and he smiles fondly at the pout that adorns his dongsaeng’s lips.

“Thank you, Jackson-ah,” he says softly. “I love it.”

Jackson grins, raises his head to lean over the counter, places his chin in his palms. “My Jaebummie-hyung is _so_ chic,” he says dreamily.

Jaebum leans forward to curl his hands around Jackson’s wrists gently and tug them away from his chin. He smirks, when Jackson squirms forwards, leaving a light kiss pressed to Jaebum’s lips.

Jooheon snorts from the doorway, a smile on his face, “I still can’t decide whether I find this all disgusting or endearing yet.” He says.

“Definitely endearing,” Jackson chirps and Jaebum bites his lip when Jooheon makes a soft noise of agreement.

\-- 

The gym on the North side of the Campus is nowhere near as nice as the one on the West, but for some reason, it’s usually where all the fencing tournaments are always held.

Jaebum’s only ever been there a handful of times before and mostly whilst he was with Jinyoung, but since Jaebum’s boyfriend is there today-- Haha! Do you see how easily the word 'boyfriend' just _rolls_ off of the tongue now?-- Jaebum’s decided to take a walk over to see how Jackson’s doing (and this has absolutely _nothing_ to do with that stalker-guy that Jackson mentioned whilst speaking to Jooheon in the bookstore some time ago by the way, because Jaebum doesn’t eavesdrop, and he doesn’t even know anything about a guy. That conversation happened ages ago, anyway, so Jaebum really remembers nothing. Was there even a guy? What guy? Jaebum doesn’t know).

The gym is huge and clean; all maple-wood floors and blue mats, basketball hoops and goalposts and Jaebum wrinkles his nose at the smell of floor-polish and sweat as he steps inside.

There's a group of students all in a circle on the far right, dressed in their Fencing gear and scribbling on papers as two of them have a match in the centre before the tournament begins, and even with his mask on and every inch of skin covered up, Jaebum can pick Jackson out easily from them all.

He’s seen him Fence before, of course. In the early years when they were still exploring their relationship and Jackson was still a bit dodgy with his Korean, but he had never really taken it in. Obviously if Jackson had been doing it for years enough that he could convince his parents to let him _leave_ Hong Kong to pursue it in another country, then he must have been pretty good, but still, from when Jaebum saw him last time to now, it’s like night and day.

Jaebum wouldn’t exactly say that Jackson is cocky, but he’s definitely gained confidence in his abilities since the last time and from what it looks like, he has every right to have. It’s almost too easy for him to take out the guy he’s practicing against, and when he pulls off his mask with a cheer and his hair falls down into his eyes, Jaebum falls in love all over again. 

Jaebum scans the rest of the hall to see if he can see any of the other early spectators are cheering his boyfriend on, and his eyes narrow when he sees one lonesome guy on a bench by the exit, clapping like his life depended on it. He doesn’t look dodgy or anything, doesn’t look _odd_ , but he’s definitely looking at Jackson, and so Jaebum makes his way over there as nonchalantly as possible. He sits down a few spaces away and the guy looks over, grin broad and baby-faced and Jaebum wants to punch him in the neck.

“Did you see that?” The guy asks brightly, “I’ve not seen you here very often, so I’ll just let you know, he’s the best one out there.”

“I’m not surprised,” Jaebum murmurs and leans back in his seat.

The other guy asks, “You know Jackson-ssi?”

Jaebum laughs, watches as Jackson shoves his mask back on and takes his stance again. “Doesn’t everyone?” He asks cryptically and the guy snickers beside him. “So… Do you come and see him every day?” Jaebum asks casually, eyes on Jackson lunging and withdrawing.

The guy shrugs a little.

“Sometimes,” he answers. “If there’s a big event or something happening. We met at a club a while back and just kind of hit it off. I was interested in his friend at first, but apparently he wasn’t interested in _me_ and so, me Jackson-ssi have been talking ever since.”

“Really.” Jaebum says but it isn’t a question. He sits forwards in his seat, rests his elbows on his knees as he watches Jackson scores another point and go careening into his team-mates. “Don’t come and see him again.”

“What?” The guy turns to look at Jaebum in disbelief, “are you joking?”

“No,” Jaebum says and he tilts his head to look into laughing brown eyes. “I’m being serious. Leave him alone.”

The guy stands up, snaps, “you can’t tell me what to do,” and Jaebum has to grit his teeth because he’s left his violent past behind him, he’s not like that anymore, but he stands up too.

The altercation of the two reaches the others in the gym hall, and Jaebum looks over at the class of Fencers to see everyone looking back at him. He immediately backs down a little because the last thing Jackson needs is for Jaebum to turn up during his lessons and act like a total idiot in front of everyone. Jackson pulls off his mask, though, squints at him as well.

“Jaebummie-hyung?” Jackson yells, “is that you?”

Jaebum shakes his head because honestly, he’s really not that far away, Jackson doesn’t have to yell that loud, but he finds himself unable to stop his smile all the same. Jackson makes a noise like a child being told they’re going to Disneyland and throws his fencing sabre and mask into the arms of his coach as he sprints across the hall in record time.

“Hyung!” He beams as he ploughs into Jaebum. “You came to visit me!”

Jaebum barely opens his mouth to say a word when it’s suddenly filled with Jackson’s very enthusiastic, very mobile tongue. One girl on the other side of the hall cheers at the kiss and Jaebum breaks away to brush Jackson’s sweaty hair from his face, smirks at the girl who swoons in her seat.

“What are you doing here?” Jackson smiles, “you never come to see me Fence.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I should,” Jaebum says. “You were amazing.”

Jackson preens.

“Er… So you two are like, together then?” The guy asks and Jackson looks around Jaebum to see the other guy standing there.

“I told you that months ago!” He says. Jaebum doesn’t think about the fact that him and Jackson weren’t even together months ago, and Jackson was telling people that they were. He feels a ball of warmth flutter in his chest even if it was only because he was trying to keep guys away from him, but if anything, that just makes the fluttering intensify.

“Well, I thought you were joking,” The guy’s frowning now as he steps forwards and Jaebum _knows_ that Jackson can handle himself, but you don’t just try to intimidate friends of Im Jaebum without consequences, so he moves forwards too.

“Well now you can see that he’s not,” Jaebum spits back. He can feel Jackson’s coach’s eyes on him; Jackson’s teammates and Jackson’s, too. His boyfriend curls a gentle hand over his fist soothingly, rubs his knuckles. When did he start making fists?

“Okay, fine, fine,” The guy relents when he sees Jaebum isn’t backing down and he holds his hands up in surrender. “I see how it is. I just didn’t think he had someone, okay?”

Jaebum begins to calm down a little, feels his muscles loosening up as the guy backs down.

“But just make sure,” the guy says to Jackson before he turns away. “That you don’t act like such a desperate whore the next time you come across someone in a club, yeah?”

Oh dear.

\--

“And so that’s basically it,” Jackson murmurs glumly, stirring his stirrer around in his green tea. “Hyung just kind of beat the crap out of him and the tournament was cancelled.”

Youngjae and BamBam laugh out loud, Jinyoung quickly brings a hand up to his mouth to cover his own snort. Jaebum glares daggers at them all.

“So, what was the damage?” Mark sips at his soup. “Your punishment?”

“A weeks suspension and a life-time ban from the gym,” Jackson blows into his cup to cool his tea. “water-fist here didn’t actually punch him hard enough to cause any lasting injuries, and the guy didn’t want to press charges because hyung _also_ told him he knew a way to trace the guy’s family and would go after them, too.”

“That’s priceless,” BamBam grins.

“The rest of my team said they were all witnesses to the dispute and it was all provocation,” Jackson continues, sips his drink. “So even if the police were to get involved, the most Jaebum-hyung would get was a fine or something anyway.”

“Makes sense,” Jinyoung nods as he leans into Mark’s side as the eldest curves an arm around him, “and so the reason why you’re sitting on hyung’s lap _now_ is because…?”

Jackson shrugs a shoulder. He turns back to look at Jaebum who has his arms steadfastly circled around the younger’s waist, the younger’s butt firmly planted in Jaebum’s lap as the older rests his forehead between Jackson’s shoulder blades, “I don’t make the rules,” Jackson says.

Jaebum sighs, briefly unclasps an arm from Jackson’s waist to run his hand through his hair and flinches at the pain that shoots through his knuckles. Jackson notices and squirms around, turns to the side so he can rest his chin on Jaebum’s head and pull his bandaged hand back into his lap as a sign of comfort.

“Who knew you were such a fighter, hyung?” BamBam looks impressed. “I thought it was just me you beat up.”

Jaebum says nothing, accepts the bite of sweet dumpling that Jackson presses to his lips.

“So what are you going to do now, then?” Mark asks, “You have five days of freedom. Any plans?”

Jaebum tightens his arms around his boyfriend, chews on the dumpling thoughtfully. “Not really,” he shrugs. “I’ll probably just finish the last question of my essay if I can.”

“Have you _still_ not completed it yet?” Youngjae looks up from his own cup of hot chocolate, his tone morbidly enthusiastic. “You should really get a move on, hyung. You could fail your whole year if you keep procrastinating.”

“Really,” Jaebum deadpans but his glare is ruined as another piece of dumpling is pushed into his mouth. He thanks Jackson with a squeeze around his waist.

“Well, since you’ve finally gotten your act together now,” Jinyoung smiles placidly. “It should all be a breeze to answer that question?”

Jaebum narrows his eyes at the muffled giggles that come from the others but Jackson wraps his arms around Jaebum’s neck and presses his lips into the older’s hair.

“Don’t worry, hyung, I’ll help you,” he declares. “What was the question about?”

The others burst into laughter at that and Jackson’s brow furrows in confusion. Jaebum buries his face into the younger’s neck with a tortured groan, breathing in the warm scent of his boyfriend’s skin and wondering if it might be a tad extreme to wish death upon everyone sat at their table.

\--

Walking around campus without Jackson always surprises Jaebum at just how quiet things really are. As much as he loves the younger; one can never get bored from just listening to the splashing of the central fountain or the soft laughter that carries on the breeze from the outdoor seating areas. It always sends a sense of peace rushing through him, a happiness that simmers just beneath his skin.

As Jackson isn’t with him (and is actually in extra fencing classes at the moment and training for another tournament because Jaebum kind of ruined the first one, whoops?) Jaebum decides to just hang about until the others show up in the Campus’ café.

He orders his usual Americano and sits down near the window. He looks over the people walking past and enjoying the spring day, the leaves rustling on the trees as he sips at his drink.

“Jaebum-ssi?”

Jaebum feels an uncomfortable prickling wash over him as he turns and sees Namjoon stood beside him; a pair of thick black frame glasses on his nose and a packaged sandwich in his hands. Jaebum offers a half smile because he doesn’t want to seem rude, and just prays that the other walks away. He doesn’t.

“It’s been a while,” Namjoon says smiling back as he gestures to the seat opposite, and Jaebum has to hold in a sigh as he nods and allows the other join him, “you’d think we’d bump into each other more often considering we’re in the same class?”

“It’s unbelievable,” Jaebum nods in agreement. Namjoon sighs.

“Hyung,” he says, and Jaebum feels a frisson of irritation ripple through him at the familiar term because the only link they actually have is Jackson, and he’s not even there right now, so who gives him the right to-- “I know still you think I want to steal Jackson-ah from you, or that I’m still in love with him or something, but I’m telling you right now that that’s not the case.”

“Right,” Jaebum says.

“Me and Jackson-ah were kids when we were together, and I do care about him an _incredible_ amount, but I’m _more_ than happy with Jin-ah now, so I could never imagine going back to Jackson-ah. And besides,” he breaks his sandwich in half and takes a bite with a grin. “I hear that  _maybe_ the two of you have finally sorted things out, and _maybe_ you actually started dating now?”

“ _Maybe_ ,” Jaebum agrees and Namjoon laughs.

“Well, I’m very pleased for you. You and Jackson-ah are meant to be together, you _were_ meant to be together from a long time ago. I’m glad everything's worked out.”

Jaebum takes a sip of his Americano and looks Namjoon over. It’s the first time he’s properly scrutinised him without any judgement, and he’s surprised when all he sees is a guy his age going through the same troubles as he is, just trying to live his life as best he can.

He feels a bit like a dick now when he thinks about how contemptuous he’s been of the other when Namjoon had really been nothing but pleasant to him-- even when Jaebum pretty much wormed his way into (and destroyed, uh, oops?) Namjoon and Jackson’s relationship with his constant skulking around the two; disturbing them with quiet coughs and murmured jibes when Namjoon's eyes would start to get all soft, and Jackson's shy and squirmy side started to come out, even if it was completely unintentional on his part.

He sighs, looks up into the other’s eyes.

“Thank you,” Jaebum mutters sincerely. “And I’m… um… I’m glad that you and Jin-ssi are happy too.” He shifts in his seat, taps his fingers against his cup. “Have you spoken to Jin-ssi yet, by the way?" He asks gruffly, "have you um... Asked him about…?” He trails off as he gestures to his ring finger and Namjoon seems to get it, sends Jaebum a stellar grin, cheeks dimpling.

“He said yes,” Namjoon beams, and Jaebum offers Namjoon the first sincere smile he ever has since they first met; for once feeling genuinely happy for the person he no longer sees as an enemy, but finally as a _friend_ instead.

"Congratulations... Namjoon-ah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just tying up a few loose ends! ^.^! Only one chapter left now! And like, a little epilogue thing? I don't know what it's called. Haha. Thank you for reading! <333!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the epilogue! I want to thank all of you SO much for sticking with me through this entire thing. It's a lot lengthier than I thought. Haha.

** NINE **

"Twister!" Jackson calls out amidst the shouts and laughter and Jaebum forces a bland smile. It's not rare for them to play dumb things when they all get together on game night (in fact, it’s all they ever seem to do actually) but for some reason, to Jaebum, Jackson’s night’s to choose the activity always seem to... _Drag_ just a little more than usual.

Jaebum doesn’t really mind, though, he's found that he can be pretty willing to go along with anything as long as it involves Jackson, even if it _does_ happen to be a game like Twister out of all the _millions_ of _trillions_ of games in the world.

(It's gonna be a long night, boys).

"We've all played twister before, right?" Jackson asks excitedly and there's a general murmur of agreement.

Yugyeom moves forward to slide the coffee table out of the way as Jinyoung and Youngjae open a cardboard box and lay the game-sheet out on the floor. An image comes unbidden to Jaebum's mind of a rainy day in Jeju Island just over a year ago, of soju and pizza, stripping games and kisses; of Jackson spread out beneath him over the coloured plastic sheet, a fluffy bunny tail firmly clipped to the back of his jeans after he’d lost a dare.

Jaebum swallows hard.

Jackson catches his eye from across the room and sends him a wink (because Jaebum’s becoming more and more certain every day that this boy can read his mind) and Jaebum sends one back. There’s the groan of disgusted maknae’s in the distance but Jaebum still can’t stop his smile.

“Jaebummie-hyung is so handsome!” Jackson shouts with full aegyo and that breaks the moment. Jaebum bows his head, his grin a cross between bashfulness and glee.

"We’re not doing this all together, right?" BamBam walks out of the kitchen, cradling a bowl of popcorn in his arms that he sets down onto the coffee table. “Because the last time I had to play, I was with Mark-hyung and Jinyoung-hyung and they got up to some very… _Questionable_ activities whilst I was right there with them.”

“Snitch,” Mark mutters elbowing the younger. BamBam sticks out his tongue.

“We’re going to split into two groups,” Jackson speaks over the mayhem. “Three against three with someone sitting out. And we’ll split MarkJin over there too, if it makes you all happy.”

There are several protests from team MarkJin at this, but Jaebum just settles himself down onto the sofa beside Youngjae to wait it all out; his gaze drifting over to his boyfriend once more, the Chinese boy now locked in a fierce battle of rock-paper-scissors with Jinyoung. Jaebum smiles.

He’s pretty proud to say that he hasn’t really been feeling possessive of a certain young, Chinese dongsaeng in quite some time (read as a seven hours), and he’s pretty sure that this is a step in the right direction of not coming across like a total psycho when he sees anyone so much as looking in Jackson’s direction (well, according to Jaebum anyway, don’t ask Jinyoung, he knows nothing).

Jaebum's mouth quirks up as Youngjae droops against his side, his head lolling against Jaebum's shoulder. Jaebum crosses his arms over his chest and rolls his own head to rest against the back of the couch, eyes slipping closed as well. Youngjae has the right idea about game night, it seems.

“Well, if _we_ can’t play together, then you and Jaebum-hyung shouldn’t be allowed to stick together either,” Jinyoung says bitter from his loss. A warm weight suddenly drops into Jaebum’s lap and he automatically curls his arm around it, pulls Jackson closer. The younger boy leans into him, pats Youngjae on the head affectionately.

“That’s fine,” Jackson shrugs. "I still have some unfinished business with Gyeommie after he beat me on PS4 night, right, bro?"

Jaebum frowns, opens his eyes as he tightens his grip even more. It's obvious that Jackson _adores_ the maknae; cares for him like any older brother would care for his dongsaeng, but it's _even more_ obvious that the maknae has a special sort of _crush_ on Jackson-- and that just isn’t too cool with Jaebum to be totally honest.

He tries not to feel too much animosity towards the youngest, though, but it is kind of hard when he’s forever making heart eyes at Jackson. And even though Jackson has tried to let Yugyeom know that nothing will ever happen between them by being less tactile lately and calling the maknae things like ‘bro’, maybe the kisses he’s blowing at the other right now are taking things in the wrong direction.

“Hey,” Jaebum tightens his arm even more and Jackson backs down, gives Jaebum a sheepish look.

“So, I’ll take Mark-hyung and--“

“Hey!” Jackson interrupts BamBam. “No! Mark-hyung has to be on my team, too, he’s the best at twister! When I went to his house for his birthday four years ago, he beat everyone, including me!" He leans back into Jaebum, whispers into his ear, "which is surprising because he doesn’t actually look as bendy as he really is.”

“Yes, he does,” Jinyoung shares a look with the American.

Jackson’s mouth curls in distaste. “And you think me and Jaebum-hyung are disgusting,” he says to the maknaes.

Jaebum keeps his arm around Jackson’s waist and just lets his lips trail over the nape of Jackson’s neck as the others talk. He spaces out when he sees the hint of a pink bruise peeking out from beneath Jackson’s shirt collar, and he smirks remembering the hour before everyone arrived.

Jaebum had gotten there early in an attempt to help Jackson set up for the party, and instead had ended up with helping him out of his form-fitted, _like-body-paint_ ( _God help him!_ ) jeans.

Mark had complained at Jackson’s locked bedroom door for a full five minutes until Jackson had emerged, shirt askew and jeans around his knees, and the oldest had promptly wrinkled his nose as he muttered he hadn’t known Jaebum was there and walked away. Jaebum had dragged Jackson back again and for the next half an hour, made sure every second was spent wisely (i.e. giving the bruise on Jackson’s neck several brothers equally spread over his body. Mm, good times).

“Mark-hyung!” Jackson whines breaking the moment, and Jaebum has to shift his hips away from his boyfriend a little because his memories are starting to affect him now. “This is a rivalry! I can’t go on in life knowing I lost to you at _twister_ , we need a rematch!”

“Fine!” BamBam finally cuts in. “I’ll take Jinyoung-hyung and Jaebum-hyung, then. You can have Mark-hyung and Gyeom.”

“Yay!” Jackson cheers. He turns to press a victory kiss against Jaebum’s cheek and jumps up to initiate a group hug, fingers digging Yugyeom in the waist in an attempt to tickle him as they join. Jaebum clears his throat loudly at that and then immediately berates himself. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He had lasted seven hours, damn it, he was doing so well!

“This is going to be so ridiculous,” Jinyoung rolls his eyes, "I can''t wait."

He sits down on the couch beside Jaebum and pulls the bowl of popcorn into his lap. “All of you can go first; I’m still reeling from how long it’s actually taken us to get to this point.”

Jackson merely beams, pumps a fist into the air. “MarkGyeomSon!” He cheers jubilantly, and Jaebum takes a handful of popcorn, quietly wondering when this night will finally be over.

\--

Jackson Wang is a sweetheart in all terms of the word.

Yes, he can be stubborn and sassy; dismissive and teasing, but he's still a good guy overall. He's like a huge ball of spun sugar dipped in caramel; achingly sweet and sometimes a bit too much, but more often than not, just _perfect_ for Jaebum's sweet tooth. He manages to tell people both everything and nothing about his life in the same minute, and it's difficult for him to hide his emotions of upset when people tell him that he's being so candid that it comes across as disingenuous.

Jackson is a sensitive soul; a _princess_ , but now he's _Jaebum's princess_ and Yugyeom better not touch him again during this game, or he’s seriously going to have to prepare to catch Jaebum’s hands...

Jaebum isn’t like Jackson. Jaebum doesn’t disguise his upset with smart quips and gentle sulking. He doesn’t pout and flutter and pull anyone aside and tell them that he doesn’t like what they’re doing and could they stop, please?

Jaebum gets angry. He rages and he shouts, he yells and snarls. The Angry Jaw™ appears (although most people find that more hilarious than threatening now, to be honest) and he doesn’t feel any shame in spreading fear and intimidation for as long as is necessary wherever he goes.

So this is why Jaebum finds it somewhat confusing that Yugyeom cannot feel Jaebum’s eyes burning into the back of his skull as the youngest now hovers over Jackson on the game-mat, the two contorted with laughter like children.

Mark had flat out lost within minutes, squealing wildly when his two teammates had dog-piled him and he slumped to the ground and hit his chin. Jinyoung had been there to take him to bathroom for first aid within seconds, but that had been almost fifteen minutes ago and both still had yet to return (Jaebum makes a note to not use Jinyoung’s bathroom again… Ever).

So now it’s just Jackson and Yugyeom on the mat.

Just Yugyeom and Jackson.

Playing twister.

In Jaebum’s _own_ home.

(Well, no, it’s not his own home, it’s Jackson’s and Mark’s home, but this way, it just sounds much worse).

“Left hand green!” BamBam shouts out from where he’s crouched beside them, and he grins broadly when Jackson reaches under Yugyeom to place his hand on a green circle, goads in sing-song to the youngest, "come on, Gyeommie! There’s one right over _he~re_!”

Jaebum watches carefully as BamBam snickers. He narrows his eyes when Yugyeom ducks his head, hair falling into his face as he slides his hand under Jackson’s twisted shoulders to press against the colour, but relaxes when no flesh comes into contact. Jackson winks at him.

“Left foot blue!” BamBam continues, leaning back on his hands and cracking his neck.

“But that’s impossible!” Yugyeom whines. He yelps with laughter as Jackson tries to burrow under his arm and almost tips him over onto his side. Jaebum rolls his eyes, ignores the fact that one of Jackson’s legs is up in between Yugyeom’s, that Yugyeom’s crotch is pretty much _pressed_  right against the curve of Jackson’s hip in return. Jaebum just really needs to sleep.

“What exactly is the point of this game anymore?” Youngjae croaks. He had woken up when Mark fell but made no attempt to join in with anything, choosing to keep his head on Jaebum’s shoulder for the duration of the game. The elder silently appreciates the touch.

“The point is to knock Yugyeom on his ass,” Jackson says. He twists himself over suddenly, pushes his knee up between the other’s legs, and Yugyeom finally collapses face down into Jackson’s neck with an indignant squawk. The Chinese boy cheers in victory as BamBam chokes with laughter.

“Hyung!” Yugyeom whines, pushing himself up onto his hands to look down at Jackson beneath him, “that’s not fair!”

“And yet… I still won,” Jackson sticks his tongue out. He tilts his head back to look at BamBam and reaches his hands out in a grabby motion. “What’s my prize, baby?”

“How about a kiss from Jaebum-hyung?” Yugyeom leverages himself up and off of the other with a grunt before rolling himself onto his back.

Jaebum's brows shoot up in surprise, he looks over at the maknae's as the Thai boy snorts and flicks the youngest on the forehead muttering, "your girlfriend is going to be _so_ mad if you go home covered in bruises again," and yeah, okay. Maybe Jaebum’s obviously been missing something for a while here. He admits he’s wrong. Moving on.

“Ooh,” Jackson sits up, completely unfazed to hear that Yugyeom has a _girlfriend_. “I’ll cash out now then.”

“This isn’t a casino,” Youngjae scoffs but Jackson doesn’t say anything. He crawls up onto the couch and settles down beside Jaebum with a soft smile.

“Do I get a kiss for my prize, hyung?” Jackson asks with a grin and Jaebum growls in reply. He ignores the second litany of disgusted groans from the maknae’s surrounding them (because what do they know, they’re all children) and just scoops Jackson up into his arms and carries his giggling boyfriend into the bedroom (because hey, if MarkJin can leave, so can he).

And okay, so maybe Jaebum might’ve over-reacted a little bit (read as ‘a lot’) earlier, because twister night hadn’t really turned out to be that bad after all. Yes, they only played for an hour, and yes, majority of that time was spent with Jaebum muttering threats under his breath anytime he saw anyone (Yugyeom-- ahem, _straight_ Yugyeom) straying too near to Jackson’s body, and _yes_ , they ended up leaving about four hours early overall, but all in all, Jaebum’s pretty happy to say that it was one of the best game nights they’ve ever had.

“We should order pizza or sushi now,” Jackson murmurs from beside him, lips trailing over Jaebum’s neck. “Pizza _and_ sushi. Wait, do you think they do a sushi pizza?"

And Jaebum just grins, spins around and pulls the younger towards him as Jackson squeals in delight. To be honest, he wouldn’t mind if every game night from now on ended in exactly the same way, and that’s with or without sushi or pizza _or_ chocolate or anything else (although he ended up getting it all, anyway-- and the chocolate, once melted, was a _definite_  bonus for the both of them).

\--

“It’s been a long time since it’s been just the two of us,” Jinyoung says as he places down a bowl of kimchi and sits down beside Jaebum on the floor at their coffee table.

Jaebum hums, picks up his chopsticks to stir them through the Jjajangmyeon. “That’s because I’ve grown to hate you,” he says around a mouthful of the noodles. Jinyoung hits him in the chest.

“So did you get any work done today?” Jinyoung asks as he serves rice into his bowl. “I know you said you were going to work on your essay since you have time off, but I’m finding that hard to believe when the last four nights I’ve come home, you’ve been still in your pyjamas and watching some drama on your laptop.”

“It was new series,” Jaebum mutters defensively, not looking away from the television, “and anyway, I finished my essay on the first day.”

“Really?” Jinyoung’s brows rise up into his hair. “Can I see it?”

“Why would you need to?” Jaebum scoffs. “I don't care if you believe me or not, you’re not my lecturer.”

“I know that,” Jinyoung snaps. “I just want to see what you’ve written. I read through Youngjae-ah’s and helped _him_ out and besides, I just want to see how you fit _my_ quote in there about how I found it unbearable to work with you.”

“I didn’t put your quote in,” Jaebum takes another mouthful of Jjajangmyeon, slurps up the noodles as loudly as he can much to Jinyoung’s disgust. “I just wrote that you said you had a great time and would do it again in a heartbeat.”

“Hm,” Jinyoung hums thoughtfully, watches a few minutes of the historical drama that seems to have enraptured Jaebum. “So what did you write for question two?”

Jaebum sighs and turns to look at Jinyoung with a half-smile of weariness on his lips, “that was all you wanted to ask about in the first place, wasn’t it?”

Jinyoung shrugs, looks back to the television as he shovels rice into his mouth, “it’s been giving you trouble for months,” he says as he covers his mouth with his hand, cheeks bulging. “Is it wrong for me to be curious?”

“Yes,” Jaebum answers automatically but he doesn’t really think so himself. He sighs, leans back against the couch behind him and runs a hand through his hair. “Okay, wait a minute,” he grunts as he stands up. He makes his way into the bedroom and comes out with his laptop. Jinyoung’s eyes widen at the sight.

“Really?” He asks as Jaebum sits down beside him again, starts up the computer and opens up a word file. “You’re actually going to let me read it?”

“On one condition,” Jaebum holds the laptop out of Jinyoung’s reach as he tries to take it. He looks his oldest friend in the eyes, and makes as stern an expression as he can when Jinyoung’s still chewing like a chipmunk. “Don’t say a word to Jackson-ah about what you’ve read.”

Jinyoung blinks, swallows his mouthful of food and nods. Jaebum sighs as he passes the laptop over to him, presses his palms into his eyes. “Don’t judge me,” he murmurs and waits for the laughter…. But he's surprised when it doesn’t come.

When only silence remains quite a while after, Jaebum slowly raises his head and looks over, surprised to see Jinyoung’s face awash with an emotion that the younger doesn’t usually show.

“Jinyoungie--” he starts but the other is already clambering over him, pulling Jaebum’s head towards him, cradling it against his breastbone.

“ _Hyung_ ,” he says, his voice full of emotion and Jaebum sighs, gives into the rare comfort of his oldest friend. The buzzing of Jaebum’s phone jerks Jinyoung out of his rocking of Jaebum like a baby, and the oldest reaches out to grab it and open his text.

**Jackson <3**: I’m about to finish practice, hyung!  
Want to come and walk me back to my dorm?  
I have the whole day free tomorrow. ;)

“Well, looks like I have to go,” Jaebum says, disentangling himself from the other. He shoves a few more mouthfuls of noodles into his mouth before he reaches for his laptop and shuts it down, and he makes sure to grab for his strawberry milk before he disappears into his room. When he comes out again, his bag with a change of clothes over one shoulder and his phone in his hands, Jinyoung sends him a fond look.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jaebum flushes. “I’ll tell Jackson-ah you said hi.”

“Spoilsport,” Jinyoung calls good-naturedly. “And send Mark-hyung over here, too, I still have over forty-thousand won worth of food left and I’m not letting any of it go to waste.”

“I'll see you later, Jinyoungie,” Jaebum chortles back.

\--

Jaebum arrives at the fountain early but just as Jackson’s class lets out, and he smiles when he sees the other boy exiting with his friends; the younger hiking his bag up more securely onto his shoulder and doing some over-exaggerated Fencing lunge that makes the others crack up.

Jackson finally hugs all of his team-mates goodbye, and is just about to turn and leave when Jaebum can suddenly see him rifling through his pockets. It’s not the first time that Jackson’s left his phone back in the changing rooms, and it probably won’t be the last, so Jaebum isn't surprised when Jackson turns around and disappears back into the building again.

Jaebum waits a minute or two until the coach comes out as well (because Jaebum’s still kind of _eternally banned_ from entering the gym), and then sneaks up into the side doors. He shoves his hands into his pockets and walks through the hall, making his way to the changing rooms when he hears Jackson’s voice talking with someone else in the corridor.

Jaebum realises that he’s spent at least two thirds of his life listening in on other people’s conversations but really, is it still classed as eaves-dropping when Jackson is his boyfriend and just so happens to be talking so loud it’s impossible _not_ to hear? Jaebum thinks not.

“Well, actually, Mr. Im,” Jackson says lightly. “Since hyung was banned from the Fencing hall, this would probably be the last place you’d find him.”

And Jaebum feels all contentment drain out of him because his Appa is right there. He’s standing opposite Jackson, his arms are crossed over his chest as he looks at the other with his unforgivingly serious expression. Part of Jaebum wants to stay where he is so he can hear what’s going on, but the other part of him can’t just leave Jackson alone because this is Jaebum's battle to fight.

“Appa,” he greets as he steps out into the open.

Jackson shouts out and grips his chest, sends Jaebum a withering look.

“Hyuuung!” He snaps. “Make a little noise next time, would you, I’m trying to act cool here!” Even Jaebum’s Appa looks half amused.

Jaebum rolls his eyes, moves to stand beside his boyfriend. “What do you want?” He asks dryly.

Mr. Im looks between them, a frown tilting the corners of his mouth.

“Your Eomma and I have heard you’ve been fighting again,” he says brisk and to the point. “Suspension… We thought you grew out of this nonsense, we didn’t pay for you to go to College just so you could go and destroy everything by being unable to control your temper, Jaebum-ah.”

Jaebum scoffs. “No,” he agrees. “You paid for me to go so I would agree to your terms. So I would live like a normal son, a faithful descendant who you could show off to the rest of the neighbourhood like a good little puppet.

“All this time you’ve all been telling everyone about how handsome I am, how strong I am, how clever I can be. But you’ve never praised me for doing something I love; for my music…” He looks to Jackson, reaches out to take his hand, “for following my heart.”

Mr. Im draws himself up to his full height, takes a step forwards, “and this--” he gestures towards Jackson, “--this is what you want?”

“Yes,” Jaebum answers honestly. “He is. He’s everything that I want, that I’ve always wanted.”

“And can he offer you safety and security?” Mr. Im asks with a touch of smugness. “From what I’ve heard from several of your… _Peers_ \-- the reason that you were fighting in the first place was because of a boy.”

“Mr. Im,” Jackson cuts in, his expression one of worry and concern. “Please don’t blame hyung for the fight, it wasn’t his fault. I know that he was a bit of a loose cannon during school, but he wasn’t just fighting for no reason this time like he used to before.”

“Jackson-ah--” Jaebum sighs wearily.

“He was protecting me,” Jackson continues. “Not really fighting _over_ me-- well, he was kind of doing that too, but he was also fighting _for_ me, mostly. Hyung knew that if I had hit that guy myself, I’d be the one suspended instead, and then I wouldn’t be allowed to compete in the tournament. He did it because he’s a good guy who cares about his friends, not because he's some type of... Fighting person?”

Jaebum looks down at his feet, squeezes Jackson’s hand. It’s not really true that he did it for all of that (in truth, he just really, _really_ wanted to hit the guy), and it may not have been articulated in the best of ways, but it’s still incredibly sweet of Jackson to think like that; to see him as a _hero_.

Mr. Im just frowns.

“I don’t know what I’m able to offer him in return,” Jackson says softly. “I don't even know what I'm able to give him _at the moment_ , but he offers _me_ safety and security now-- and I hope that one day, I’ll be able to do the same for him, too.”

Jaebum looks up into the stern face he’s seen more times than he can count and he sighs when not even a flicker of emotion shows on it. Obviously he had expected this final showdown to happen, but he hadn’t imagined it would come so soon. He hadn’t imagined that his Appa would actually seek him out; that he would actively cross over into his territory just to confront him, and he isn’t too sure what to think about that.

Part of Jaebum is actually pretty scared; the majority of his conversations and arguments had been with his Eomma and over the phone, he had always felt a little braver not seeing her in person. But on the other hand, the other part of him is seriously pissed off. How dare his Appa come to his College to question him about his life? Not to mention that he went to _Jackson_ first rather than contacting Jaebum to ask where he’d be.

"We made an agreement--"

“Appa,” Jaebum says abruptly, and he keeps his voice deep and controlled even with his heart hammering in his chest. “I've made my decision, I've gone against your wishes, and if you can’t look past all of this, if this _really_ is the last time that we converse, then…  Then I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. You and Eomma, you’ve given me so much over the years and I will forever be grateful. But I have to live my own life right now, whether you want to be a part of that or not and I'm sorry for all the hurt.

“I'm sorry if I’ve disappointed you. I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to live up to your expectations and be the model son. I’m sorry for our past. But those are the things that have made me who I am today, and I can’t say that I'm apologetic for that.”

Jackson squeezes Jaebum’s hand carefully, and when Jaebum looks up at his boyfriend, his worry melts away at the sweet sympathy in Jackson’s eyes. Jaebum’s sure that there was never a time in his life that he wanted to kiss Jackson more, but he settles for tugging him close, wrapping an arm around his waist and burying his nose into his hair, breathing in deep.

When it becomes clear that nothing more is going to be said, Jaebum untangles himself from the Hong-Kong native reluctantly and takes a step forwards. He presses his palms together, touches his index fingers to his lips and bows forwards at the waist.

“Thank you, Appa,” he says softly, and he turns on his heel once he’s straightened up. He walks back to Jackson, and reaching out to take the others hand once more, he laces their fingers together so they can walk hand in hand towards the exit.

“Jaebum-ah!” His name echoes through the hall. “Don’t you dare turn your back on me! Don't you dare walk away!”

Jaebum pauses in his departure, tilts his head a little to show he's listening.

“What will everyone think now?” Mr. Im asks voice softening. “When I tell people about my son who studied music at College and then ran away with his boyfriend; what should I tell them all?”

Jaebum looks over his shoulder, sees his Appa still standing there in the dimly-lit hall, his face creased with anguish rather than rage. He pulls Jackson closer, brushes his lips over the other’s knuckles and smiles down into warm, brown eyes.

“Tell them that I’m happy,” He calls back just as soft, and he’s sure-- that even just from the tiny glimpse he gets as he continues to walk away, and maybe this is all just wishful thinking now-- but he _sure_ , that he sees the ghost of a smile too, trace across his own Appa’s mouth.

\--

There’s a softness in the air the next morning, Jaebum laying out across Jackson's bed on his stomach, his cheek resting on the back of his hands as he watches Jackson-- in his basketball shorts and vest, glasses perched cutely on the bridge of his nose--  as he tidies up his bedroom. They talked until the early hours of the morning about the previous night's events, and Jaebum has never been more sure that he has made the right choice.

"Why don't you ever get jealous?" Jaebum voices his thoughts and Jackson looks over at him, brows furrowed behind the frames of his glasses and a bottle of face mist in either hand.

"What's that hyung?"

"Jealous," Jaebum repeats. He rolls onto his back and closes his eyes. "You never seem to feel it. How come?"

Jackson shrugs, throws both bottles into the save pile.

"I do sometimes, I guess, but I'm not really a jealous person," he answers nonchalantly.

Jaebum huffs.

"So it doesn't even upset you that people show interest in me?" He shifts down more, allows his head to hang off the end of the bed. He looks at the other upside down. “Doesn’t bother you that people find me… Attractive?”

Jackson just snorts and reaches for another bottle of something sparkly.

" _Everyone_ finds you attractive, hyung," he says. "You're like, the sexiest person I know. Other people are bound to show interest in you." Jackson opens the bottle he's been examining, sprays it on his wrist to smell and wrinkles his nose as he sniffs it. He throws it into the save pile anyway. "And yes, sometimes it bothers me, but it'd be irrational to get jealous of every single person that wants to get it on with you, right?"

Jaebum's thoughts come to an immediate halt because that just kind of riles Jaebum up even more (ignoring the quip about him being irrational because he knows that already). Because in his fits of jealousy in the past, he'd only ever ( _naively_ ) thought of people stealing Jackson away just to take him skipping off into the sunset together; maybe they'd hold hands, maybe they'd go on dates. But he'd never really got as far as thinking about... Well.

He'd never actually thought of the fact that people might actually want to 'get it on' with Jackson, that they'd desire him-- that they'd crave the touch of his hands and his mouth. He never actually imagined that when they look at him, their imaginations (much like Jaebum's own, ahem) could extend to something... Sexual.  

And so now he's bypassed being upset. He's hurtled though hurt, slammed through jealousy and has settled nice and firmly into down-right-pissed-off. He shuffles his feet towards the pillows again so he's properly on the bed, glares at the ceiling as the blood still rushes to his head.

"What if someone walked in here right now and kissed me?" He bites out.

Jackson just laughs lightly.

"If someone kissed you right now, hyung, it would either be Mark-hyung, Jinyoungie or the cleaning noona they hired in the kitchen considering they're the only ones here," Jackson crawls over with a scoff. He pulls his glasses off, slides his hands over Jaebum's neck, down the front of his t-shirt and over the smooth, bare skin of his chest. When Jaebum opens his eyes, Jackson's hovering above him, upside down again.

"Does it really bother you that I don't get jealous?"

Jaebum bites his lip, focuses his eyes on Jackson's mouth until the younger gets the clue and leans down to kiss him slow and soft, tongue pushing past the parting of his lips. It's an unusual feeling to kiss upside down but it still feels _so_ good. Jackson whimpers into his mouth and Jaebum feels his fingers twitch with the need to pull the other boy up onto the bed beside him and just kiss him properly, but it's the middle of the day, and Jinyoung would probably find a way to disturb them on purpose.

He sighs when Jackson pulls back, plump mouth trailing over Jaebum’s jaw.

"It upsets me more that I can't seem to control my own jealousy." He admits quietly. "Just thinking about other people touching you... It makes me want to start, I don't know, breaking wrists or something."

Jackson pulls back with a stifled laugh but Jaebum hears it and gives him a sharp look. The younger dissolves into giggles again.

"I'm sorry, hyung," he runs his thumbs over Jaebum's cheekbones, eyes smiling as much as his mouth. "That's just… Kind of specific."

Jaebum grumbles.

He frowns again as Jackson presses a kiss to his nose then slips away to continue cleaning, sliding his glasses back onto his face as he goes. Maybe Jaebum feels a little bit better at Jackson's words but there's still an uneasiness that remains because-- even though it's been such a long time now-- he still doesn't know the full story of what happened with Namjoon.

The air is almost clear between them now, Jaebum and Jackson having spoken about everything from being exclusive (because Jaebum will actually _murder_ anyone who touches Jackson) to Jaebum's parents, and he really, _really_ just needs to understand. He rubs his hands over his face and sighs into the air, closes his eyes to settle his stomach.

“What about Namjoon-ah?” He asks before he can even process that it was him that spoke and he momentarily freezes in in time.

“Hm, what’s that, hyung?” Jackson asks from the other side of the room, and even though Jaebum knows that Jackson not hearing him is an actual _blessing_ , he just has to know the truth.

“Namjoon-ah,” he says louder. “You were together for years. You visited him for six weeks at camp. One of the reasons you even came here to _live_ was because of him. I don't... What happened?”

Jackson stops all movement, the silence almost deafening before the shuffling noise of him crawling over sounds again.

“Okay, hyung,” Jackson says softer now, hands cupping his jaw as he meets Jaebum’s gaze upside down once again. “I’m going to tell you something and I want you to listen to me very carefully.”

Jaebum nods. Jackson takes a deep breath.

“I started talking to Joon-ah when we were fifteen,” he starts. “We became pen-pals due to some stupid class assignment at our schools and because we could both speak English, we just ended up talking even more. We exchanged emails, numbers, skypes, you know how it goes when you’re young-- and we just ended up becoming really good friends.

“I started _dating_ Joon-ah a little while afterwards. It wasn’t anything major because we both lived in two different countries and stuff, but he was really cool. We were into a lot of the same things; the same music, the same ideologies of the world-- So obviously, we decided to meet.”

Jackson takes a deep breath, shifts around until his knees crack and Jaebum frowns, turns over so he’s on his stomach and they’re face to face so Jackson doesn’t have to kneel up to see him. The Chinese boy flashes him a grateful smile.

“I found out about some sporting event that was happening in South Korea for two weeks at a school that was only about fifty minutes from Joon-ah’s, and so since his parents were pretty strict, I convinced _my_ parents to let me go and do fencing there instead. They finally agreed after weeks of begging, and I came to Korea but then…”

Jackson stops, rolls his eyes as pink begins to creep up to his cheeks.

“But then, hyung, I met you.”

Jaebum swallows, his eyes flicking down to Jackson’s mouth.

“I met with Joon-ah in person two days in, but for some reason, I kept thinking about you, too. I kept looking forward to seeing you every day I got to your school for practice, and when I had to leave and go back to Hong Kong, I had to make sure that me and you would still stay in contact.

"I _loved_ talking to you, hyung. You were so brash and funny, and so, so chic! And soon after, I found myself wanting Joon-ah to teach me Korean more so I could impress _you_ , rather than having you teach me to impress _him_. And then when I went to camp that summer, and I had only been learning Korean for a short while, I was still nowhere near fluent and I really... I just really didn’t want to disappoint you, huyng.”

“Jackson-ah,” Jaebum murmurs, reaching out and touching the boy’s chin, leaning forwards until their lips meet sweetly.

“I loved Namjoon,” Jackson breaks away gently, traces his fingertips over Jaebum’s jaw. “Of course, I did. But I was _in love_ with _you_. When I finally moved here, I think he noticed it too; how I never exactly stopped you from hanging around us on our dates, how I always brought up conversations I’d had with you when me and him were alone.”

He grins, “luckily, I think he was just more disappointed than heartbroken when we split because we had already drifted apart by then anyway. We were kids when we met so we both just grew up into two different people-- and besides,” Jackson’s smile softens. “Now he’s the top of his class and is _engaged_ to Jin-hyung who is like, worldwide handsome, so I think he’s pretty happy with the way things are right now, too.”

Jaebum licks his lips, reaches out to take Jackson’s hands and brings them to his mouth. He presses his lips to the ring Jackson still wears.

“What I’m trying to say, hyung,” Jackson pulls away, but only to place a hand either side of Jaebum’s face and squeeze his cheeks together playfully, “is that I have adored you for a _very_ long time. I’ve always cared about you, and there’s no-one else that I could imagine spending the rest of my life with other than you.”

Jaebum swallows down the rise of emotions in his throat. Jackson is the crier out of the two of them, not him (although he does have his moments, but everyone does so leave him alone, okay?), but he still feels a lot more... _Delicate_ than he did before. He doesn’t cry, though, (thankfully) but he does pull Jackson up into his arms; he pulls him up so he can lie down beside him on the bed, and he leans up on one elbow so he can look down into his gorgeous smiling face.

“Jackson-ah," he whispers softly. "I… I feel the same way, you know? This is it for the rest of my life now; there will never be anyone else I’ll adore like I do you. You're my _world,_ you know that right? And you… Well, you kind of always have been."

Jaebum flushes in disgrace as there's the sudden sound of fake retching coming from outside Jackson's open door when Jinyoung goes by (because Jaebum was right, Jinyoung _doesn't_ have anything better to do other than follow them around and criticise), but Jackson just playfully snaps at the younger to shut up, before he launches himself on top of Jaebum’s body.

He plants several kisses against Jaebum's still red cheeks and cries out, "ah, hyung! Shimkoong!" as his glasses fall off his head and down into Jaebum's face, and Jaebum laughs and complains, struggles beneath the other.

\--

It isn’t until that night, though, with the gentle burn of his lava lamp glowing on the night-stand, and with the soft pulse of a ( _very_ nearly) completed ‘Prove it’ playing in the background, that Jackson more than makes up for Jaebum's embarrassed ego and the small cut on the bridge of his nose. His toned body illuminated by the dim light from where he’s sat over Jaebum’s hips, his skin flushed and wet with sweat, muscles pliant with fatigue.

"And so maybe I _was_ a little bit jealous that Jinyoungie always appeared in your Skype calls to me in the beginning," Jackson slumps down onto Jaebum’s chest and nuzzles his neck, out of breath. "And maybe I did give that waitress the run around because she kept flirting with you...” He presses his lips to Jaebum’s collarbone. “And maybe I did kiss Gyeommie because you picked to date Mark-hyung over me, but--” he lifts himself up, rests his chin on his arms to look into the eldest’s eyes,“--I don’t know why you’re even grinning like that, it's nothing to get happy over."

Jaebum laughs quietly and pulls his boyfriend down into another kiss, his heart thrumming like a bumblebee against his ribs. It’s taken him far too long to see what a fool he’s been over the years, and now he finally intends to make up every second of it that he can. And he’s going to start by calmly telling himself that it doesn’t really matter whether Jackson gets jealous or not…

…

…

Even though he _totally_ does.

_Yes!_

\--

_Question 2: What inspired/influenced you in the creation of your song?_

In all of my previous works, my writing had been influenced by the books I'd read, or the stories I'd heard from friends. But this song 'Prove it', is the first time I’ve written something that has been influenced by a time-- a moment-- that has affected me personally, in my own life.

It all started when I was sixteen and my school was holding a sports competition for the whole of Asia. I met a boy my age from Hong Kong, and he was the most beautiful thing I had _ever_ seen…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh! Thank you a million times over again to anyone who's kept up with this the entire time! And also to any of the new readers, too! If you made it this far, you have my sincerest gratitude forever. <333! I'll post up the epilogue as soon as I can!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone once again! So much! I started writing this in like, February and wasn't sure if anyone would enjoy it so I put off posting it for ages before I finally just thought, "fuck it," and edited the hell out of it to show to the public. haha. So to everyone, to the comment-ers, the kudos-ers, the read-ers, everyone. Thank you all.

** EPILOGUE **

Graduation came and went quicker than anyone anticipated. Finally being free of his parent’s tuition payments and having a _Music degree_ of his own making Jaebum feel like a bird being freed from its iron cage; the weight that had burdened him for so many years finally having disappeared like dust in the air.

Jaebum was also proud of himself for putting all his hostility towards Namjoon aside, because after finally becoming friends with the other, his friendship had turned out to be invaluable in helping Jaebum complete his assignment with top marks and ensured that he got his dream job straight out of College, working as a temp in one of the biggest companies in the Music Production Industry in Seoul (although his marks still didn’t rival Namjoon’s own, of course. The lucky bastard).

Jackson had ended up slamming the Fencing Tournaments and had won eleven of his twelve games including the final. He had celebrated by throwing a huge party in his and Mark’s dorm which lasted almost an entire twenty-four hours (which Jaebum only remembered about three hours of, really) and had also violently announced his relationship with Jaebum to all of his long-distance friends and family on Skype (although they already knew). He also demanded that the picture they used in the paper the next day to be the one of him wrapped up in Jaebum’s arms with his legs around the oldest’s waist (Jaebum was sure Jackson would never let him forget the _joke_ he made when he first saw Jackson Fence-- Come on, it was years ago! And it was totally still a _joke._ Maybe)-- and was happily now working full-time at the bookstore with Jooheon until he managed to qualify for the World-Wide Fencing Tournament in September. 

Mark had gone travelling with his new degree in Martial Arts and coaching as soon as the summer had started, and had taken Jinyoung-- the now fully qualified Actor-- with him wherever he went; the two occasionally contacting Jaebum and Jackson with Skype calls about their recent travels and findings.

BamBam had passed his first year in Fashion design with flying colours and was getting ready to attend his second year at a different Campus (Jackson totally didn't cry at that. Ahem). And Yugyeom, who had also managed to pass his first year but in Dance (at the top of the class, mind you), was now entering a hip-hop course rather than the contemporary one his parents wanted him to do, and was still very much in love with his _girl_ friend. Jaebum would never get over that.

Youngjae had managed to get his degree in Music Production, too, and even though he was still working his part-time job as a dog-walker, still had big dreams he wanted to pursue. Hopefully there would be a collaboration between the two of them in the books in the near future once he returned from his three month English course in America-- and maybe even a love interest for the younger, if the way that the server at the Campus cafe always gave Youngjae the eye anytime she heard his contagious laughter was anything to go by. But who knew what the future held?

\-- 

Jackson wakes up to the rising sun’s light peeking out from beneath the blinds of his bedroom window. The room still mostly swamped in darkness due to the time of day, but once Jackson wakes up, he finds it hard to return to sleep again, and especially when the space beside him-- which is usually occupied with a gorgeous and sexy _hunk_ of a man-- is now cold and empty and lonely.

“Hyung?” He calls with a groan, sitting up sleepily and rubbing his palms into his eyes. “Hyung, are you here?”

Jackson realises belatedly that that’s actually a pretty silly question; as for one, it can’t be later than five in the morning and neither of them work on Saturdays, and for two, if Jaebum wasn’t _there_ , he wouldn’t be able to answer anyway.

He yawns widely as he stretches his arms above his head and reaches over for his glasses, he slips them onto his nose and feels around for his phone, still feeling groggy and exhausted as he locates it by the lamp. He has no new texts or calls, and so it’s unlikely that Jaebum has gone out, but it’s still a bit unusual for him to be nowhere in sight, and so Jackson slides out of bed and pads his way to the door.

He absent-mindedly goes to run his thumb over his ring but feels an uncomfortable swoop in his stomach when he realises it’s not there. He looks at his hand just to make sure (because it’s never come off before without him actively taking it off himself) and stares blankly at his bare hand before the panic starts to set in.

“Hyung!” He yells again, but this time he hears footsteps running afterwards.

Jaebum bursts into the bedroom seconds later, a frantic look on his tired face and in nothing but a pair of striped sleeping shorts with a glass half full of water in his hand. Jackson takes a moment to admire his legs, his abs, his chest, his lips...

“What’s going on?” Jaebum asks softly, worry etching over his face. “Are you feeling sick? Is something hurt?”

Jackson lets his gaze run over his boyfriend’s body once more and blinks for a second before he remembers what got him so worked up. “My ring!” He shows Jaebum his empty hand. “Your ring. _Our_ ring. It’s gone!”

“Oh,” The frantic expression leaves Jaebum’s face and is replaced by relief. He sips his water. “Where?”

“I don’t know!” Jackson bemoans, curling closer to the other. “I had it last night when we--” he draws back to wiggles his eyebrows playfully. “But now it’s gone, and it’s never come off before.”

“Have you checked the bed?” Jaebum asks pointedly and Jackson continues to stare for a second before he blinks again, grins a little sheepishly.

“Help me look?” He tilts his head cutely.

Jaebum rolls his eyes but nods. He curls his hands around the back of Jackson’s head and presses a kiss to his eyebrow to wish him “good morning,” and then walks over to place his glass on the bedside table.

Jackson immediately dives beneath the duvet, twisting and curling in the material until he’s nothing but a tangled mess in the sheets with one foot hanging out at the side. He hears a snort of laughter from somewhere to his left and flumps the duvet off of him, glares as the older continues to watch him in amusement, and fixes his glasses that have become askew.

“What?” He pouts.

“I found it?” Jaebum shrugs. He reaches out to snap up a silver speck from beneath his pillow with a grin and Jackson just pouts even more. Jaebum holds the piece of jewellery out to his boyfriend and Jackson finally relents; sighing, he wrestles himself free of his cloth trap and gets up onto his knees to shuffle closer. Jaebum clicks the lamp on and holds it out to the other as Jackson takes it and frowns.

“This isn’t mine,” he says.

The ring that Jaebum had given him all those years ago is well-worn by now. It’s scuffed and rusted, a little more like an oval than the perfect circle it had been when Jaebum had first given it to him. This ring however, is brand new. It’s gorgeous and shiny, a faint, expensive-looking pattern indented around the edge, and if that wasn’t enough of a difference, this one is inscribed too.

Jackson frowns, flashes a glance to Jaebum who looks like he’s about to keel over at any minute and shifts closer to the light. He spins the ring in his fingers delicately, a lump rising in his throat as he reads what it says, "Jackson-ah, be mine for life... Hyung." He looks up, clutches the ring close. “Do you mean it? Are you sure?”

“Am I sure,” Jaebum snorts but not unkindly. He gets onto the bed too, kneels opposite his boyfriend as he lifts his hand and strokes his thumb along Jackson’s bottom lip, his expression cautious and nervous and desperate all at once.

“Jackson-ah,” he exhales. “One day, when the world has come to its senses and same-sex marriage is legal everywhere, there is only one person in this world that I would want to call my husband.” He takes a deep breath, takes the ring from Jackson and pulls his left hand close instead of his right which the old ring had been on. “The last ring I gave you was for everyone to know that you were mine. But this ring is for you to know that I’ll always be yours. Jackson-ah, will you--“

“Yes!” Jackson yells, flushing a little at his eagerness. “Ah, sorry, hyung, I got too excited, ask again!”

But Jaebum merely chuckles, slips the ring onto his finger and pulls it against his lips to press a kiss against it.

“One day,” Jaebum whispers, grinning as Jackson wriggles excitedly.

“One day,” Jackson whispers in return.

\--

"Is it open, is it open, is it open?" Jackson practically bounces where he's stood, looking over Jaebum's shoulder as the elder chuckles, tries to help unwrap the CD tightly hidden in its film wrapping. "Oh, my God, hyung, this is so cool! Your first song, on disc! How are you not hitting the walls right now? Do you want scissors?"

"I've got it," Jaebum laughs, finally wrestling the case out of its enclosure, "And I'm not losing my mind because I have a little something called self-control, unlike some people I know, obviously."

"Who cares about self-control when you have this!" Jackson squeals. He fumbles for the case in Jaebum's hand and drags it away, immediately flipping it over and reading over the back. "I can't believe you have this, hyung, it's amazing," his eyes soften, "well done. I'm really proud of you."

Jaebum rolls his eyes even though he can feel his neck and ears growing hot. It’s just a copy of his song ‘Prove it’ on CD from the College, but it’s now been professionally made so he can see what it would look like if he ever decided to start selling it to the public-- and okay, so maybe that is _a little bit_ cool.

Jaebum stands up and walks towards Jackson, he curves his arms around his waist and leans forwards to press a gentle kiss to the other’s lips.

"I couldn't have done half of it without you," he says honestly and Jackson melts into his arms for another kiss. Jackson finally pulls back and turns away. Jaebum keeps his arms wrapped around him as he rests his chin on Jackson's shoulder, looks down into his hands.

"I still think I would've looked better on the front of it, though," Jackson pouts. He runs his fingers over the generic photo of Seoul's night sky, traces the stars and lights and hints of pink in the distance. "Don't you think I would've looked good?"

Jaebum smirks, presses his lips against Jackson's neck. "I think you would've looked incredible," he murmurs. "But this is just a College assignment for one, and secondly, this body is all mine now, so I'd prefer if you weren't half-naked for everyone else to see."

"Spoilsport," Jackson huffs a laugh.

"And besides," Jaebum says softly, feeling butterflies erupt in his stomach as he clears his throat. "You _are_ on it-- Well, _in_ it, anyway."

Jackson frowns, brows pinching together as he scrutinises the case, "no I'm not," he says.

Jaebum takes a deep breath, sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and reaches around Jackson to take the case from him. He clicks it open and runs his thumb over the inscription inside, just beside the disc; the writing neat and bold, and recognisable as Jaebum’s own handwriting.

"J-Flawless; my heart, thank you for everything. Def Soul," Jackson breathes, and when he turns back, his eyes are glassy, his hands a little shaky as he cups Jaebum's face. "Oh, Jaebum," he breathes huskily and Jaebum can't even complain about the lack of honorifics-- although he tells himself it’s because Jackson doesn’t need to call him ‘hyung’ anymore (although if Jaebum had a choice, he’d still be ‘hyung’ until their wedding night), instead of because of how his throat has just closed up.

And when Jackson finally draws away with a giggle and brushes the wetness away on Jaebum's face with his thumbs, whispers, "I'm getting my tears all over you," well, Jaebum doesn't say anything to that either.

\--

“You know,” Jackson shouts from the kitchen as he waits for the kettle to boil, “now that we’ve graduated from college, and we have a new place of our own, the probability of us being walked in on when I put on your new CD and decide to do a little lap-dancing next time will have _significantly_ decreased.”

Jaebum looks up from the letters he got in the mail that morning, growls as he meets Jackson’s eyes when the younger steps out of the kitchen, a cup of green tea in his hands.

“Bedroom.” He commands, hoisting himself up out of his own seat, “now.”

And Jackson beams, leaving his tea back on the table as he skids down the hall in his socks-- narrowly missing their dozing cat, Nora-- his high-pitched giggles leading the way. The note Jaebum had been reading that had arrived with the post that morning fluttering to the floor with his departure, lost for now, but the words never forgotten: 

\--

_Jaebum-ah,_

_Be happy,_ always _._

_Love, Eomma and Appa._

_\--_

Now that's a promise he'll gladly keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm totally not emotional right now. (Maybe?) And I know its short, but I wanted to end it all warm and fluffy and sickening. Haha, So, thank you for reading one last time! <333! ^.^! (Edit: Sorry, the last line got cut off. Haha.)

**Author's Note:**

> Was I too obvious that Jackson is my bias? Ahaha... Please let me know if you find any mistakes!


End file.
